Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I bought a box of tampons and went to the store restroom to insert one. I then put the box inside my purse. On my way out, I got stopped by security, who yelled at me to empty my purse. He grabbed my bag, spilling the tampons everywhere. Apparently, he thought I was stealing. FML
Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML
Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML
Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML
Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML
Today, the self-checkout machine at the grocery store kept yelling, “PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING AREA” while I frantically tried to scan everything. An employee came over and said a bit too loudly, “Ma’am, you have to scan the condoms before bagging them.” Of course there were people around to giggle. FML
Today, I was running the register at my work and this big lady pulls her wad of cash out of her bra and hands it to me. The bills she handed me were moist. FML
Today, I was cashiering at a grocery store when an elderly woman came through my line buying prune juice. She then whispered to me that last time she bought it, she "blew up her toilet". FML
Today, at work, I was ringing up some tampons for a woman, and I usually try to interact with the shoppers as much as possible. I was trying to think of something witty or funny to say but drew a blank, so I decided just to say, "Have a nice night." What I actually said was, "Have a nice flow." FML
Today, I was at the store when I saw two extremely hot girls. I walked into their aisle and they looked at me and smiled. I stopped and pretended to look at something so I could listen to what they were saying. They started laughing and walked away. It turned out I was reading a box of tampons. FML
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Top comments
ByronJess 17
Well if you didn't have a pack of Q-tips for your ears, then he was most definitely wrong.
ahhdorablepeach 0
Awkward...
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Comments (277)
cornielious 1
Aaaaahhahahahahah!
stehsha24 9
Hahahah he's awesome!
ThermiteKitten 8
I have to admit, that was witty. Take it in stride: it's a hilarious story.
soldiat_fml 17
He missed the ears. Now if you had been buying a package of q-tips as well...
chels1994 11
I find that hilarious although it would be extremely unnecessary and embarrassing.
redsfan 4
Fuh Q?
Dracoboxer357 36
Op, the security guard actually said that to you And kept his job? As amusing as I found the commentary, that's still a bit of a line-crosser, wouldn't you say? Wow, let's hear it for polite and tactful strangers everywhere. :)
tehdarkness 21
He should get in trouble for that... Some people would be really offended...
Snafuusmc 12
That's hot.
midnight21 8
Why do men assume that just because girls buy tampons that they are on their periods? Girls, most of the time, make sure that they have the supplies that they need before hand. Guys, think before you speak about a bodily function that you yourselves do not participate in.