By meganmagee - 16/09/2013 18:47 - United States - Barnesville

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML
I agree, your life sucks 50 489
You deserved it 9 336

meganmagee tells us more.

meganmagee 11

After maxing out our credit card on a salt water tank, Mr. Shelly has a permanent home here with Megan, Tony, and Ansleigh Magee.

Top comments

That is adorable. It sucks...but it's adorable

"What's for dinner mommy?" *holds up knife and smiles* "Mr. Shelly."


Guess who's not eating dinner tonight!

Get her a new pet that you don't have to eat, duh!

CallMeMcFeelii 13

There's no such thing as a pet you don't eat, 39. I remember my neighbors cat named George, he made the tastiest catlet mignon. It was a hassle getting all his cat hair out, but I'll be damned if it wasn't the best meal I had. If anyone needs recipes for German Shepherds, you now know who to ask!

french poodle... i have a great recipe for french poodle spaghetti!

Thanks 43 I laughed so hard I almost fell down

If I remember correctly my first pet was a rock that I thought was a turtle. I remember freaking out when my parents found it and tossed it out my second story rooms window. I was not a bright child.

Gingerette 8

The best kind of pet is the kind you can eat.

Salt water aquariums are not cheap, sorry OP.

Even better, lobsters do not age, if she takes good care of it, it will be with her for life!

102: This might sound stupid, but why not but an ordinary aquarium and just add salt to the water? I'm sorry, I really don't know anything about aquariums, at all.

Its not the Aquarium that is the expensive part it's the filtration system for it.

81, there's no shame in having a pet rock :-). Kids these days are so demanding and take for granted the amount of entertainment we didn't grow up with. You had a pet rock until your parents murdered it. How rude (JK)!

That is adorable. It sucks...but it's adorable

Well he can't cook it now without being a total douche... So it looks like back to the store he goes to get one of "Mr.Shelly's" kinsmen.

Getting another lobster and eating that one probably wouldn't go over much better.

Maybe daddy-o would think this time and keep it out of reach of his 4 year old child

Yeah, but if this was a family dinner, I think the kid would notice the similarities.

You got me another pet you are the best mom ever!!

Still a better option then cooking the one who is now a pet. My grandpa once served my mums and her siblings what used to be my mums pet chickens (she had three she's raised since they hatched) let's just say that she STILL hasn't forgot about it.

Yeah I noticed that after my second comment but didn't say anything because NOBODY CARES

Hunthas 17

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

why's your picture too small to read? it totally defeats the purpose...

@NeatNit Common teenage dilemma's Does Billy like me back? How do I keep up with my studies? Where should I go to college? Which seat can I take? You're welcome.

#59 now I'm curious about your picture

Aaaaand that's when this thread gets creepy.

Now you have to keep it unless you want to break your girls little heart

She doesn't need to be coddled. The mother should just explain to her that people eat lobsters.

I dunno. I think it would be better to just let her keep the lobster if it makes her happy. It seems exceedingly mean to not only take away a pet from a young child, but also eat it. I can't imagine how horrified and upset I'd feel if I had, say, a new pet rabbit or duck and my dad then cooked it for dinner. And I'm an adult. I can't imagine how upsetting that would be for a child.

meganmagee 11

don't worry. Mr. Shelly has taken residence my daughter's kiddie pool.

Corrupt_waffles 13

Yeah it's pretty awful when your fuckhead of a father gets you a pet rabbit for your birthday after not remembering it for 3 years, then making the bunny into a soup for him and his buddies, and giving his child the rabbit skin laughing just so he can spite your mother because she did something to upset him. My point is don't traumatize the kid. I say to OP just let the kid have the pet and eat something else and make her take care of it properly. It will teach her responsibility and it won't make you look like a huge asshole.

r_bruce69 19

It is adorable, true. But aren't lobsters expensive to eat and to keep as pets? Also, it's going to be hard to have lobster in the future now isn't it!

Holy shit, 34! I hope you made up that story!

32, Glad to hear it! :) You're a good mom.

Which now means if you genuinely intend you keep it, you'll need to find out what breed of lobster it is and buy a large aquarium and suit it to the lobster. Also do you have any idea how long they live for or how big they get? Unless you're just biding your time until the novelty wears off and she forgets about it, that's possibly the worst decision you could have made. You could've just told her that it was for eating and cooked it anyway. Kids need things explained to them, not giving them everything just because they assume it is so. Besides, isn't this a plot from the Simpsons? I'm going to guess it's fake.

The Simpson's taught me a lobster can live in a tub (but not too hot) but in real life, wouldn't the lobster have to live in a saltwater tank?

jasmine2301 25

I hope that's salt water if not it will kill it

Spider_Web 11
loveingit 7

So how will you keep a salt water animal alive in a kiddie pool? This sounds like a nice plan but for the fact you should do planning into a pet. Sounds like the lobster will die. You will not be able to eat it. And the daughter will loss the "pet" Try explaining to the kid it was dinner and it is cruel to make it live without the conditions. Maybe get a real pet with planing and not the slow death of a lobster.

frizz101 22

It depends on if OP got a salt or fresh water lobster, also there are lobsters that live near estuarys, so they can live in salt or fresh water. And since lobsters are bottom feeders they can pretty much eat anything.

bleedingglitter 24
thatonetribute 31

Hahaha, oh my gosh. You sound so bitter.

Aww you gotta admit that's sweet of her!

"What's for dinner mommy?" *holds up knife and smiles* "Mr. Shelly."

Cue dramatic music and maniacal laughter in the background.

Mwahahahaha, I like the way you think #6 & #16!

RedPillSucks 31

And thus, a future vegetarian is born.

Why thank you, #103! :) Dark humor has always been more interesting to me than anything else.. XD

Wait until she takes the rubber bands off his claws. They won't be friends for long....

Hey look on the bright side, you made your 4 year old thrilled!

"Hey, honey, Mr. Shelley is dirty. Let's give him a bath. No no, the bath tub is far too big. He'll fit much better in this pot of boiling water on the stove."

as much as a laughed at this comment, i realized how cruel it actually is to boil a poor little lobster alive. :(

It's not cruel at all #110, it kills lobsters instantly.

Not quite instantly but they do it because lobster is toxic if it dies any other way

monnanon 13

crabs and lobsters are usually stunned before boiling. i think you freeze them and that is supposed to be the most humane way. still not very humane though.

I thought you were supposed to sever the spinal cord with a knife.

monnanon 13

they have an exoskeleton. i dont think they have a spinal chord. plus that would hurt like a bitch and be worse than throwing them on boiling water.

bfsd42 20

It's a lobster. It's food. It gets killed and eaten.

Mr. Shelly is a great pet! Great with drawn butter.

There is plenty of room for all of God's creatures... right next to the mashed potatoes!