Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cousin and his fiancée took me to my first strip club experience. One of the strippers came over and danced for me. She pulled her thong string out and I tried to place the dollar in it with my mouth. I missed, to which she said "Put it in there, retard." FML
Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML
Today, I went to a strip club for the first time ever and was about to enjoy a private dance when the stripper stepped onto my chair, between my legs, to climb up onto platform. Sexy. Unfortunately, she missed the chair and stood on my balls, full weight, without noticing. I didn't 'enjoy' anything after that. FML
Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML
Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML
Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML
Today, I was doing a striptease for this guy over my webcam. I was shaking my ass while taking off my panties, but when they fell to my feet, I tripped over them and fell on my ass. FML
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML
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Top comments
Imdead 0
Time to go on a diet bro. Good luck. It's not easy.
JenDanielle917 13
Hahaha your a douche....... Hahahahaha try being nice sometime.
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Comments (51)
moochi 0
haaaa she's not getting tips that way
fayzhai 0
LMFAO
Fop 6
YDI for going to a strip club, fat perv.
dvs01 0
Why the hell would you spend money to see ****?
silly_kate 0
1) working out couldnt hurt 2) she's a stripper! you can not take anything she says to heart! 3) maybe you shouldnt judge people on how their bodies look if you dont want them doing the same!!
kekelala3 0
Either she's extremely flat-chested and doesn't need to be a stripper or you need to be on the biggest loser
Khfan12 13
YDI for having manboobs...but if that's not the case, FYL because that means she's extremely flat-chested and you got a bad stripper. I have no idea why you had bigger breasts than her, so I clicked both options.
kittytub 12
breasts are completely natural for guys. some guys can be the ideal weight and still have breasts. its genetics. o:
gbaby2454 0
hahah that strippas a bitch
theguyuhate 0
mine are bigger than urs
dw2407 0
lol that's really brutal, I would of slapped a hoe