Work: Today, our entire crew team was at a yoga studio for an introductory... - FML

By unitywoods - United States

Today, our entire crew team was at a yoga studio for an introductory yoga lesson. All my teammates could talk about how hot the yoga instructor was in her tight spandex while doing the sexy yoga poses. Everyone, including the coach, wanted to do her. The yoga instructor is my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

83043

You deserved it

4832

Tweet

Share

Season finale

Minefield

Caught red-handed

By wasp infestation - United States - Aurora

Today, the owner of the house I'm renting said he doesn't want to pay $4000 to fumigate the home, and that he'll take care of the issue himself. I have killed 30 angry wasps in the last hour. There are thousands living in the walls, but I think their favorite place is my bathroom and my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14424

You deserved it

1000

Tweet

Share

By anonymous001 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25881

You deserved it

68673

Tweet

Share

By assholedad - United States

Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32164

You deserved it

10779

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I had one of my biggest dance shows ever. After months of practice I had finally gotten the lead position. When I entered the stage and raised my arms my straps fell down and I flashed an audience of 5000. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4520

You deserved it

417

Tweet

Share

By albinoalligator - United States - Elkton

Today, I declined an apartment because it didn't have a detachable shower head that I could use for my enjoyment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7340

You deserved it

19816

Tweet

Share

By ThanksDog

Today, after months of planning the perfect night with my brother, who was coming home for 2 weeks from the military, he cancelled because he "missed his dog". FML

I agree, your life sucks

13399

You deserved it

1489

Tweet

Share

By husks

Today, I broke up with my now ex-girlfriend for the 5th time. She still hasn't got the hint. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39029

You deserved it

12388

Tweet

Share

By poophead - Philippines

Today, I went to a fancy beauty parlor to prepare for my sister's birthday party. The minute I stepped out of the salon, with my hair beautifully trimmed and curled, a bird decided to use it as a toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29675

You deserved it

2539

Tweet

Share

By whirlednews - United States

Today, I'm at home sick and someone is moving into the apartment above ours. Judging by the sounds and level of noise, they seem to be opening some sort of woodworking shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21191

You deserved it

1790

Tweet

Share

By BIZZMAL - United States

Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10264

You deserved it

32507

Tweet

Share

By shadowmuppet - United States - Bronx

Today, I learned the joy of getting a brand new leather jacket and then watching my date drunkenly throw up all over my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4573

You deserved it

547

Tweet

Share

By whatdidido - United States - Conover

Today, I was messaging a girl on a dating app. Things were going well so I thought I'd ask her to meet. She had listed hiking as an interest 3 times on her profile so I suggested we meet at a state park. She told me she doesn't hike on a first meet and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1699

You deserved it

614

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36296

You deserved it

2771

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was just a few days away from starting the training for my promotion to management, which involved a healthy pay raise and full time benefits. Today, news came down that the company is filing for bankruptcy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25296

You deserved it

1559

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at work, a kid rushed into the bathroom to vomit. Understandable, except he threw up into the sinks. Sinks plural, whose drain holes are so small that only liquid can really pass through. Guess who had to clean up vomit chunks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47390

You deserved it

3803

Tweet

Share

By MoRuined - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I found my first grey hair. How? My boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to point it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39158

You deserved it

3857

Tweet

Share

By michelle - France

Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't answer his phone last night. He was hanging out with our mutual friend all night. She had been texting me all night about what great sex she was having. My boyfriend was the only person there besides her brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36258

You deserved it

2797

Tweet

Share

By tessykins - United States

Today, this guy who likes me accused me of cutting myself. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, "Don't lie, I saw those scars on your thighs when we went swimming." I have stretch marks on my inner thighs, and now I have to explain them to him so he doesn't think I cut myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37825

You deserved it

3266

Tweet

Share

By InnocenceBlue - Australia - Perth

Today, after I've been nauseous for a week straight, barely eating or sleeping, I was going to see my doctor. She then called in sick and I can't get an appointment for another week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1563

You deserved it

103

Tweet

Share

By Tiber46 - United States - Long Beach

Today, the vet sent me an email wishing my kitten a happy 2nd birthday. My cat died last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50498

You deserved it

4167

Tweet

Share

By ILuvYouSoldiers - United States

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

I agree, your life sucks

94293

You deserved it

21396

Tweet

Share

By wolf boy - United States

Today, I went to the park with a girl I like. She got playful and climbed a tree, insisting I come up, too. While we were sitting and enjoying the view, she suddenly knocked me off the branch, sending me crashing to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39390

You deserved it

6139

Tweet

Share

By Ham - United States

Today, I received a letter from my college telling me that my instant tuition was revoked and I’ll have to pay almost twice as much next semester. Yesterday, I received the same letter. I guess they needed to tell me twice. It hurt just as much the 2nd time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3520

You deserved it

223

Tweet

Share

By MamaMia

Today, I realized it isn’t my 5-month-old son who has the issue sleeping without me, it is I who cannot sleep without him. This is his first night in his crib and I can’t fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2568

You deserved it

607

Tweet

Share

By fetch boy.. - United States - Bellmore

Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40446

You deserved it

18262

Tweet

Share

By upset room mate - United States

Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25016

You deserved it

4279

Tweet

Share

By sexychica - United States

Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58277

You deserved it

6330

Tweet

Share

By Idiocracy - United States

Today, my boss confessed to me that she doesn't know how to change the staples in the staplers at work, so she just switches them when they run out. We work at an office supply store. She makes six figures. I make $10 an hour. And she just got awarded a trip to Aruba for doing a "great job". FML

I agree, your life sucks

63358

You deserved it

3406

Tweet

Share

By Sucker - Canada

Today, after working another double shift because I want to buy my boyfriend a really expensive anniversary present, I get to his apartment to find him calculating in how many paychecks he'll be able to afford a Caribbean getaway. For himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34482

You deserved it

3577

Tweet

Share

By cek4uytp - United States

Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44645

You deserved it

18547

Tweet

Share

By anon - United States - Northbrook

Today, my step-sister told me that she was getting married to her girlfriend next summer. At a big family brunch, I made a toast to their marriage. I didn't know that my step-mom didn't know they were dating in the first place, or that she was severely homophobic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29883

You deserved it

4682

Tweet

Share

By Byepax - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom found out I'm failing three classes. Now she won't let me go to a convention I bought passes for weeks in advance. Each pass was $45, and I bought 2 more for my friends. You do the math on that, because I apparently can't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18046

You deserved it

45486

Tweet

Share

By mulligan - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I'll be moving to a different state in a few months for a new job. He now refers to me as his "girlfriend for now". FML

I agree, your life sucks

12792

You deserved it

2796

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Sri Lanka - Piliyandala

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said it was because my mom's lazy eye creeps him out, and that my dad hates him. She doesn't have a lazy eye, he's never met my dad, never seen my mom, and now according to his friends, he's been cheating on me for the past two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33969

You deserved it

2534

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Edmonton

Moment ruined

Today, I tried to relieve my back pain by lounging in a jacuzzi at my mother's house. All was going well until I accidentally knocked an opened container of bath salts into the tub, which got sucked into the jet system, shooting tiny, sharp, barely dissolved pieces of salt into my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19478

You deserved it

3357

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29754

You deserved it

75857

Tweet

Share

By DaddysGirl - Canada

Today, I took the train to visit my parents, which arrives late at night. As I was getting off, the cute guy in front of me looked out the window, then turned to me and said, "Doesn't that guy out there give you the creeps?" That guy was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33310

You deserved it

2590

Tweet

Share

By Socarates - Ireland

Today, I drove over 200km from Dublin to Galway, with a broken window. It rained for most of the journey. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29187

You deserved it

5672

Tweet

Share

By ac32 - Canada

Today, I bought myself a brand-new 52" flatscreen. It was only in my house for 2 hours before my toddler had a tantrum, threw a toy right into the screen and wrecked it beyond repair. I paid to have a nice TV for 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40241

You deserved it

9656

Tweet

Share

By wookieewhosshe

Today, my parents were helping me move flats. The only box to spring open was the box containing condoms and copious amounts of napkins for clean up. They spilled all over the road as my dad was carrying it. My mum picked them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1366

You deserved it

676

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Jaywin | 3

#63668 - Saturday 28 March 2009 0:34

In the middle of stretching you should've just walked up and gave your mom a hug, impressing your team and looking like a pimp without them ever knowing you were just hugging your mother.

By DefHamster | 0

#63598 - Saturday 28 March 2009 0:07

Oh man, that's definitely awkward.
But, MILF!

COMMENTS

By DefHamster | 0

#63598 - Saturday 28 March 2009 0:07

Oh man, that's definitely awkward.
But, MILF!

Reply

girandwogpig | 0

#320721 - Friday 19 June 2009 17:04

Hey look I'm near number one!!!
Anyways OP can you send us a pic???

Reply

kalixzo | 11

#1062452 - Sunday 4 July 2010 13:14

LMAO

By demonkey_fml | 4

#63600 - Saturday 28 March 2009 0:08

As distressing as this is, at least she's not sixty pounds overweight and having hygiene issues...

Reply

look_its_me | 0

#923703 - Monday 8 March 2010 3:12

this.

By gangstabby01 | 0

#63604 - Saturday 28 March 2009 0:10

milf.. agreed number 2

By trucanadian | 0

#63606 - Saturday 28 March 2009 0:11

At least your mom is hot. I'll bet she has sex all the time. Think about it. I'll bet within the last week she's had steamy hot sex with a customer

The scenario:
Man: I can't do this yoga stretch properly

Reply

lucindo | 0

#1180734 - Tuesday 3 August 2010 10:53

hahaha, I can't do the splits..
can you show me again...
now bend over backwards..
that's how you do it..
:P

Reply

paijus | 0

#4815747 - Wednesday 15 August 2012 11:56

How much porn did you watch before posting that? Rhetorical

Reply

ToxicTyrael | 26

#6206867 - Thursday 19 February 2015 17:48

#99 made me lol

By Riceball_fml | 0

#63618 - Saturday 28 March 2009 0:16

Wow, that's awkward.

Hey, at least your mom is hot, I guess. :)

By marz88 | 0

#63624 - Saturday 28 March 2009 0:17

Pics or it didnt happen

By newguy_fml | 0

#63629 - Saturday 28 March 2009 0:20

yeah dude, she was hot.

By log1k | 3

#63632 - Saturday 28 March 2009 0:23

ugh... I know ur pain, my friends think my mom is hot >_

By greatnt249 | 0

#63641 - Saturday 28 March 2009 0:25

So, how long did they call you gay for not agreeing with your coach and teammates before you told them she was your mom?

Reply

LxiiBby | 0

#1510836 - Thursday 7 October 2010 9:10

lmao.

Reply

sharkwkrox | 0

#2430699 - Friday 29 April 2011 23:46

good one lol!

By freddie_fml | 0

#63659 - Saturday 28 March 2009 0:31

It's okay, little buckaroo. People are allowed to find your mom hot.