Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
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70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML
Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML
Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML
Today, my family and I were celebrating my dad's birthday. The two of us were standing by the pool chatting, and I jokingly said "You're old now." I suppose I should have expected him to shove me into the pool, my phone still in hand, and retort, "You're soaked now." FML
Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
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Top comments
kenjiisown 1
Drown him.
schwancy 2
Tell his parents they owe you a new phone, and that their son is a little shit.
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Comments (199)
killabee 0
Who remembers those anti pot commercials where the babysitter gets high and let's the kid drown?? Marijauna, not so harmless after all. That's all i can think of when you mention babysitting and pools.
allanalovesboots 0
@100, wow, way to be a downer.
weareallondrugs 0
contract a pro assasin to kill his ass
FirstBornUnicorn 0
There are pro assassins? LAWLZ
OopsieDaisies 0
That really sucks. Make the parents pay for your phone! That little kid deserves a bit of spit in his next meal. ;)
ChinnuWoW 0
wow what a little ******!
dodo97 0
well than ur a bad babysitter!!://
saxman45 0
That kid is freaking awesome! =D
foxy1222 0
hahahahahahahahaha
DontTouchMe1548 0
lol kid: 1 op: 0
Anextase 0
Smart kid.