Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML
Today, I tried meditating at the park to “be more mindful.” Right as I closed my eyes, a squirrel jumped onto my leg, causing me to scream loud enough to scare a nearby jogger, who then tripped over his own feet. I apologized while shaking uncontrollably. FML
Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML
Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML
Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML
Today, I tried to pet a squirrel because it looked friendly. It did not feel the same way. Now I’m googling things like, "Can squirrels give you rabies?" FML
Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML
Today, I was trying to take a cute selfie on a hiking trip. As I leaned against a boulder to get the perfect shot, a squirrel jumped out of nowhere and attacked me, probably thinking I was after its food. I dropped my phone into a creek, and my friends took a picture of me freaking out instead. FML
Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML
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Top comments
Qwertyuiip 0
Tell that son of a bitch who's boss.
IBelongToJeebus 0
How the hell did it fall down your shirt?
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Comments (141)
Saturn_fml 23
Well now you've learnt your lesson: squirrels are evil demons.
FYLDeep 26
If a squirrel ever tried to act like a hardass to me it would be dead. Oddly enough, I've never met one that wasn't terrified of humans. I don't know how you found one willing to come into close contact with you.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Are you questioning the validity of the FML?
FYLDeep 26
Ate you kidding me? If it made it onto the internet, it must be true.
StoryOfTheYear 15
You mean that people actually live in Wisconsin?
FYLDeep 26
Nah, I believe it. This squirrel was probably just a little braver than the ones I've encountered because it was 'roid raging.
iamabamf 17
Haha, not funny. Wisconsin is just as nice as any other state. So shut up.
StoryOfTheYear 15
That's an opinion. Also, take a joke. I know that Wisconsin isn't that terrible, I just think it's not as good as Minnesota.
LMFAOallthetime 8
She had food, why wouldn't come to that person?
LaColombianita 26
Omg that reminds me of the squirrels in New Jersey. They are so chubby, but so cute! :)
MLK12345 4
It reminds me of the squirrel in Madagascar:)
LaColombianita 26
I don't think there was a squirrel in Madagascar...
Brannie 4
those aren't squirrels.. they're Snookis and Deenas
LaColombianita 26
Lol ^
elephantom12 9
Squirreloids.
teyyoshi 19
you seduce a squirrel,good fetish!!!
StoryOfTheYear 15
Don't forget to put a space after your commas. I've seen you do this a few times. Yay Loren is being helpful! :D
teyyoshi 19
thank you，i will keep it in mind(this time is it ok?)
iamabamf 17
You deserved it for giving a squirrel nuts when it looked like it was on steroids.
ImYoursAlways 3
You know you liked it. ;)
rachaelheartsNY 8
Ew.
ImYoursAlways 3
Ew? It was a joke.
rattusrattus 19
Squirrels: they all be crazy. And possibly addicted to nicotine if people just toss their dog ends on the floor. So the moral of this story is, don't feed the squirrels. And use ashtrays.
ThatLooksSticky 16
Who was in the park earlier giving the squirrels steroids?
Pentium_4 27
maybe it was a male squirrel that would rather have boobs than nuts