Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML
Today, I tried meditating at the park to “be more mindful.” Right as I closed my eyes, a squirrel jumped onto my leg, causing me to scream loud enough to scare a nearby jogger, who then tripped over his own feet. I apologized while shaking uncontrollably. FML
Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML
Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML
Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML
Today, I tried to pet a squirrel because it looked friendly. It did not feel the same way. Now I’m googling things like, "Can squirrels give you rabies?" FML
Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML
Today, I was trying to take a cute selfie on a hiking trip. As I leaned against a boulder to get the perfect shot, a squirrel jumped out of nowhere and attacked me, probably thinking I was after its food. I dropped my phone into a creek, and my friends took a picture of me freaking out instead. FML
Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML
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Top comments
Qwertyuiip 0
Tell that son of a bitch who's boss.
IBelongToJeebus 0
How the hell did it fall down your shirt?
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Comments (141)
kei1108 13
Please don't feed the wild animals in parks or zoos; they will eventually get used to it and forget/not want to hunt for themselves, the food is not good for them considering the sodium content, it will cause weight gain, tumors and cancer, and it will cause them to go to every human they see for food. But FYL!
hotchick90037 3
Squirrels are vicious!
MagmaMan 0
Isn't that why you don't feed wild animals
Arthur_Kirkland 0
This sounds fake.
J9ssica 13
better get those rabies shots
Poser1337 5
It seems like many people take steroids now days.
alethe9 0
Wow that's horrible.
brick_man33 14
::: Dramatic-Chipmunk Stare:::
brianbakker 2
It was probly a bad case of squaids, squarrel aids.
bubo_fml 11
Silly squirrel! Nuts are for chins! (Or for slappin' against taints, what evahz ya kink!)