Love: Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled... - FML

By Anonymous - 05/10/2014 15:47 - United States - Arlington

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words, "Lisa, will you…" then abruptly shat my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 237

You deserved it 6 332

Summer vacations: Sun and blunders
From beaches to campsites, embark on a journey filled with laughter under the sun... and a few sunburns! More…

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Same thing different taste

By CombatShadow45 - 25/11/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend of three years on a romantic picnic to the park, so I could propose to her. The moment was just right, I made my move. I knelt down on one knee and asked her. Her response was "you're kneeling in dog poop." I looked down. She was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 821

You deserved it 5 455

Nervous

By amelie - 09/12/2018 05:00

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 738

You deserved it 718

Timing is everything

By -bird-poop- - 10/10/2009 12:52 - Germany

Today, I finally plucked up the courage to propose to my girlfriend of 7 months. I took her out to the park where we had our first kiss, I got down on one knee, and before I could say, "Will you marry me?" a bird shat on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 026

You deserved it 7 576

By anonymous - 02/09/2014 18:58 - United States - Wolcott

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 789

You deserved it 9 663

By maebyf - 31/08/2010 14:48 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 001

You deserved it 8 378

A night to remember

By Anonymous - 14/03/2025 22:00 - Australia

Today, I planned to propose to my girlfriend in front of her family at dinner. I had the ring ready and got down on one knee. She immediately burst into laughter and said, "Are you kidding?" The family stared in silence, and I quickly realised she was just teasing me... until I stood up and knocked over an entire table of drinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 126

By gutted - 07/05/2012 02:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 973

You deserved it 2 890

Happy now?

By minime94 - 15/11/2012 06:35 - United States - Sunset

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend while we were on my couch having a romantic moment. She seemed incredibly excited when she saw the ring and put it on. The way she bolted out the door tells me I'm not going to see her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 376

You deserved it 2 556

By sothatsano - 16/12/2015 08:56 - United States - Spokane

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. At the right moment, I got down on one knee. As I was reaching into my pocket to get the ring, she got so freaked out she kicked me in the face. I chipped a tooth and the ring flew off, and now I can't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 492

You deserved it 1 839

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - 02/11/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 297

You deserved it 309

Next

Top comments

mrtonyanderson 20

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:20

Smooth

sarah5745 41

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:20

Holy crap! Didn't see that coming op ;)

Comments

mrtonyanderson 20

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:20

Smooth

laden_swallow09 34

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:27

Like his bowel movement? Smooth move, Ex-Lax.

AoC15 10

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:28

He's a true gentleman

JMichael 25

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:35

This is what I call a bad case of the mudbutt.

ktm71125 19

Sunday 5 October 2014 21:04

I'm glad this didn't end in her running away, I think it could have been worse OP!

brivielle 15

Monday 6 October 2014 1:00

OP didn't say how it ended

kristabelli 19

Monday 6 October 2014 8:05

Oh, I'm pretty sure she ran away... or at least BACKED away...

sarah5745 41

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:20

Holy crap! Didn't see that coming op ;)

Jared900DUmpling 30

Sunday 5 October 2014 22:40

I don't think anyone expected that ending XD

skychu 18

Monday 6 October 2014 0:46

Obviously, neither did he, #2

greg84_fml 21

Monday 6 October 2014 4:49

I'm going to be the adult here and say, "hehe, you said #2."

DarksideDoll 31

Wednesday 8 October 2014 7:11

Taco Bell strikes again!

nlow79 3

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:20

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

barakados 11

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:32

Leave

Akouseur 7

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:56

This got old the first time it was used. Just stop.

nikkipettyfer 24

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:21

Hopefully in 20 years you can laugh about it together!

a_wiener_d0g 15

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:30

If she really loves him she can probably get over it haha

strike2867 13

Monday 6 October 2014 0:24

That story will take more than a lifetime to live down. Their grandchildren would still be going, "You will never believe what my grandfather did in the middle of his proposal..."

shanebob 15

Thursday 9 October 2014 5:53

#5, i'm not sure "hey! Remember when you shit yourself!?" Is a great conversation topic.

rainbowdog 17

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:21

What an elegant proposal

ToxicTyrael 26

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:21

Really shitty! But did she say yes?

brivielle 15

Monday 6 October 2014 1:02

Stop.

russiancat464 12

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:22

"yes my dear, I will most certainly shit with you"

VanessaNal 13

Saturday 29 November 2014 21:53

I laughed so hard at your comment.

how_about_no_ 19

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:22

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

WoldowJR 25

Sunday 5 October 2014 23:22

What you said only BARELY qualifies as a "joke," and it is in no way a good one.

DippinGrizzly907 27

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:23

Dude...Wtf?!? She ain't saying I do now.. What the hell happened? You have the runs before you asked her?? Get nervous BMs? God damn son..

cadillacgal79 32

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:39

It was probably a case of, "where will you be when diarrhea strikes..."

atak12 8

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:23

I hate when that happens

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Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

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You deserved it 1 893

Today, after presenting my husband with a more than fair request to pay me an hourly wage for being a stay-at-home mom, he laughed his ass off and told me if I want money so badly, I could get a job. He'd rather strangers in daycare raise our babies than pay me what I'm worth. FML

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The Top

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You deserved it 233

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You deserved it 42

Today, I had to explain to my Romanian colleague that, no, a cat flap is not a euphemism for a vagina. FML

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You deserved it 1 982

Today, I was staying at a hotel and had a night terror. I woke up, yelled, "Fuck!" and realized I had shit the bed. I'd woken up my teenage daughter, who now knows I shit the bed in the middle night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 206

Today, I got my graded essay from my teacher. Earlier, he'd said that it was "too specific", and that I should change it to be "more general and debatable". Now that I've got it back, the first comments on the paper are, "Your thesis is too general, be more specific." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 781

You deserved it 1 373

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 371

You deserved it 3 202