Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML
Today, I tried meditating at the park to “be more mindful.” Right as I closed my eyes, a squirrel jumped onto my leg, causing me to scream loud enough to scare a nearby jogger, who then tripped over his own feet. I apologized while shaking uncontrollably. FML
Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML
Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML
Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML
Today, I tried to pet a squirrel because it looked friendly. It did not feel the same way. Now I’m googling things like, "Can squirrels give you rabies?" FML
Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML
Today, I was trying to take a cute selfie on a hiking trip. As I leaned against a boulder to get the perfect shot, a squirrel jumped out of nowhere and attacked me, probably thinking I was after its food. I dropped my phone into a creek, and my friends took a picture of me freaking out instead. FML
Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML
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Top comments
Qwertyuiip 0
Tell that son of a bitch who's boss.
IBelongToJeebus 0
How the hell did it fall down your shirt?
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Comments (141)
Arxikist 3
OP: "HELP THERE'S A NUT STUCK IN MY CLEAVAGE AND I CAN'T GET IT OUT!" Squirrel (Seductive voice): Lemme help you baby
kphippie 0
Baha'is! Lmao! That's hilarious
caseDL6 12
i read this earlier, while i was waking up. my first thought was, "how did a squirrel fall down your shirt?"
ironictraveler 9
fear the squirrely wrath.
fangz_fml 6
Oh yea, that was mine. I was testing drugs to see if it will give him super strength :)
OsseoSoccer 0
Squirrels are so cute(:
malfoyfreak 3
SIMP squirrels in my pants!
mishkaroni 15
Haha, I very much laughed out loud picturing that!
coried91 28
Wow, that's pretty f'ing funny =D
disney_blonde 16
There's a reason you're not supposed to feed wild animals...