Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was home alone, blasting music, dancing in my underwear, singing into a wooden spoon. I turned around mid-performance to see my landlord standing in the kitchen. I’d forgotten about the maintenance appointment I'd scheduled. FML
Today, as I was walking back inside I noticed my mop leaning on the wall next to my door. I picked it up and started slow dancing with it, imagining it was the girl I'm in love with. I didn't notice my neighbours bunched up at their window laughing. FML
Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML
Today, I looked out my window to see the sunset, but instead I see my neighbor dancing with strobe lights on and music blasting. He was by himself and had absolutely nothing on. FML
Today, I was bored and all alone while cleaning at work. This led me to start passionately doing a ballet dance in the empty corridor. I promptly stopped as I remembered the surveillance cameras. FML
Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML
Today, both my parents were at work so I was home alone. My boyfriend had wanted to surprise me and take me out to lunch. He found me dancing on my kitchen table singing "Like a Virgin" at the top of my lungs. FML
Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML
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Top comments
dmmd8686 0
Should have gone up to him and said "that'll cost you 20 for the show"
regalarius 0
Man, if I had a dollar for every minute I've been glad no one was watching me, I'd be a rich man. FYL. Also: in before "do him"
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Comments (201)
douchebagerry11 0
FML for what? I'm sure you loved it. Don't lie to urself.
24788 6
Well, it's really your fault for dancing to a song like that in public.
FMLGirl1991 0
what exactly did you expect for dancing like a ****?
littlemuffet 0
That is an amazing talent your friend's father has!
sgn12345 0
#25 LOL
lovely997 0
i'm pretty sure you wouldn't be a able to see a boner while he is standing up, unless he's wearing something that can show it, or if it's really big but not usually common,
etar 0
fake
FPsLife 5
#81, #54, similar people, THANK YOU. Why the hell do girls do "slutty" or "hypersexualized" things and then get offended/surprised when someone is aroused? And WHY, if a guy gets a boner anywhere in the vicinity of a woman does she assume it's because he was thinking about her?? GET OVER YOURSELVES!
Lythiaren 8
They're called curtains. If you're going to do something like that, close them.
Sportsfan86 3
#9: lmao #19: roflmao!!!