Today, I walked in on my daughter making out with a piece of paper with someone from the cast of IT taped to her pillow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML
Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML
Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML
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Top comments
JasonThorn 24
Extra FML -- it was Pennywise.
manb91uk 22
Maybe she just wants to float...
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Comments (25)
missreader 14
she deserves some privacy maybe knock on door next time.
Symphoniaes 32
Okay but was it Finn Wolfhard? That kid rocks, it would totally be understandable
Dustin Allen-Duwayne Lakey 16
Well her boyfriend was busy working on his truck. What else is she going to do?
Lobby_Bee 18
Practice makes perfect.
Mooglefox 24
At least it is safe sex?
Barbara Woodke 8
Well, at least it was someone from IT. I can think of worse shows.
nneaves22 11
please tell me she has a clown fetish
the user name is taken fml 10
at least she won't get preagnet