Transportation: Today, I waited thirty minutes for a bus that stopped running... - FML

Nearly

01/10/2021 22:55

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 5

Spicy

Spicy

Weird flex, but OK

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 08:01

Spicy

Today, I’m aware that comparing yourself too much to other people can make you unhappy. I now learned that the same goes for comparing yourself to objects. For example, between myself and the shared toilet in my student house, guess who has the most pubic hair? FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 42

Nice try, though

By Anonymous - 16/10/2021 20:00

Spicy

Today, I bought a $100 Victoria's Secret gift card for an ex who I still have a thing for, only to find out she started dating someone else a week ago. I just realized I bought lingerie for her to wear for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 960

22/12/2014 07:45

Today, I waited thirty minutes for a bus that stopped running three weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 260

You deserved it 6 786

Good kid

BO Central

Nice place

13/09/2016 05:51

Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 781

You deserved it 1 630

15/04/2009 01:16

Today, I was carrying some luggage downstairs to put in my car to head back to college. My brother told me my shoes were untied. He said he would tie them for me as I was carrying luggage. I fell down the stairs because he thought it would be funny to tie them together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 795

You deserved it 11 146

17/07/2013 17:38

Today, an old lady steamrolled over my foot with her wheelchair, then laughed as she slowly rolled away, leaving my toes in ruins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 092

You deserved it 3 823

11/02/2015 02:26

Today, I found out the only reason my parents want me to live with them is because of the tax refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 866

You deserved it 2 999

Kids will be kids

By Charles Booth - 09/04/2021 14:00

Today, my 14 year-old got a 5-day suspension for fighting. He stood up for an 7th grader who was getting picked on. While the poor kid was eating lunch, they were messing with him when my son stepped in. There were some words said, then a fight. He feels terrible for fighting but I think he was in the right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 217

You deserved it 74

23/12/2012 22:24

Today, I was on my favourite forum when I saw a guy ranting at some pro-lifer fanatic. For fun, I replied "umad bro?" apparently moments after the forum founder also left an angry reply. I'm now banned for a month for "trolling the founder" and all my posts have vanished without a trace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 024

You deserved it 36 435

Influencers

By Anonymous - 26/12/2020 08:01

Today, my wife asked me to wrap an empty box to put under the Christmas tree. She didn't want her vlog followers to think she didn't get me any gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 103

13/07/2013 14:32

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 007

You deserved it 4 592

07/05/2011 11:54

Today, I learned that my apartment building has two new tenants: my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé, the guy she cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 730

You deserved it 3 284

04/02/2013 20:47

Today, my boyfriend and I arrived at our pre-paid hotel for a romantic evening. When we went to sign in, they had no reservation for us, however they did yesterday. The payment is non-refundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 744

You deserved it 6 042

15/09/2014 22:19

Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 687

You deserved it 7 099

21/01/2010 07:31

Spicy

Today, while in the waiting room at the chiropractor's office, I thought I'd be sexy and flash my boyfriend. Forgetting that my iPhone was in the front pocket of my hoodie, I lifted it quickly and hit myself in the mouth. Now I have a fat bloody lip and a boyfriend who can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 725

You deserved it 46 901

30/11/2009 12:17

Today, I posted a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook. He untagged himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 866

You deserved it 19 512

06/07/2012 02:13

Today, I was called into my first day of work as a cashier. Not even 30 minutes into training, my boss had already "accidentally" touched my ass 7 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 175

You deserved it 2 705

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 735

You deserved it 592

10/02/2011 01:12

Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 335

You deserved it 52 476

16/03/2014 19:28

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 739

You deserved it 6 266

06/09/2009 07:26

Today, I decided to visit my dad. I haven't seen him in a while so I wanted to give him another chance to be an actual dad to me. Apparently, getting drunk and getting it on with his girlfriend while I was there was more important than spending time with his daughter, who he hasn't seen in almost a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 619

You deserved it 4 060

22/08/2009 01:02

Today, it was my 17th birthday. My mom forgot and my best friend is out of town. The highlight of my day? The guy at McDonalds slipped an extra apple pie in my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 782

You deserved it 3 156

Caught

By Kiki - 28/04/2021 08:03

Spicy

Today, I was home alone while my family was on a trip for 3 days at the beach. I walked around naked and did stuff, thinking they wouldn't know. After a whole evening of doing stuff like that, I noticed a camera. They were filming it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 419

07/11/2016 12:38

Today, I went into work, thinking it was my last day before I start my new job, as my 2-week notice said to the managers that I can't work after today. None of them believed that I was actually capable of getting a better job and thought my 2-week notice was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 776

You deserved it 954

Where is everyone?

By Anonymous - 04/12/2019 20:00

Today, I tried to have a game night at my house. Suggesting a popular card game that everyone plays, snacks, and BYOB. No one showed or even said they weren't coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 213

You deserved it 168

07/01/2009 15:25

Today, I found out that my wife sent nudie pics to her ex-husband. My wife's excuse for the pics? "I needed a compliment because I thought you didn't love me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 317

You deserved it 6 049

31/05/2012 20:19

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 581

You deserved it 3 177

23/01/2015 18:09

Today, my girlfriend told me that her fear of PDA has gotten so bad, she doesn't think she'll even be able to kiss me on our wedding day. Her parents are going be there and she can't imagine showing affection in front of other people, let alone her parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 544

You deserved it 3 205

26/01/2011 14:48

Today, my cat pissed in my zen garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 905

You deserved it 23 803

11/03/2011 01:44

Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my brand new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 090

You deserved it 4 769

21/08/2015 16:07

Today, after months of taking care of my grandma after a surgery, the doctors gave her a clean bill of health and I finally got to sleep in my own bed. She passed away while I was at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 934

You deserved it 1 785

01/08/2012 05:44

Today, my husband told me that occasionally I pick my nose while I sleep. I didn't believe him so he showed me the video he took of it. He wants to post it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 762

You deserved it 3 272

22/04/2011 05:08

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, she tells me that the flab on my stomach does not turn her on, and stops in the middle of it. Therefore, until my diet is over, guess who doesn't get any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 863

You deserved it 22 661

30/06/2016 19:35

Today, I have put in many job applications and had many interviews for a variety of positions all of which I am highly qualified for. Today, I heard back from all but one that I am overqualified. Welcome to Walmart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 485

You deserved it 926

14/05/2019 10:00

Today, I was punched in the face for wearing a Ramones shirt. The guy who punched me said he was tired of people wearing the shirt without knowing who they were. I've been a Ramones fan my whole life and am the only person I know who has worn the shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 936

You deserved it 130

28/02/2009 10:52

Today, I was introduced to my boyfriend's family at their family reunion for the first time. As I sat on the couch, his 4-year old sister comes in and jumps onto my lap. For a moment I was happy to think his sister liked me, only to hear her say "You're fat! I like fat things." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 568

You deserved it 5 736

14/07/2013 20:08

Today, my girlfriend of six weeks dumped me when she learned that Macedonia, where I was born, is in Europe. Apparently, she thought that I was "Asian" and she doesn't want to date a "white guy." Yeah, I'm totally confused too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 439

You deserved it 3 868

24/03/2016 21:06

Today, I went to Costco and the cashier asked me how I was doing so, to be nice, I asked her back. She said, "I'm fucking horrible, I'm working at Costco," nearly making me spit my drink out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 982

You deserved it 2 973

25/04/2014 22:59

Today, I waited two hours in line at college to select my classes. I finally got to the desk, only to be told I have to apply online before I can show up in person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 328

You deserved it 9 766

15/08/2016 10:11

Today, my mother told me that I could take a friend on vacation with us. Then she added that because I have no friends, my brother can bring his girlfriend instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 141

You deserved it 987

15/02/2015 03:41

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 066

You deserved it 6 410

12/02/2010 19:30

Today, someone thought it would be funny to switch the signs on the bathroom doors. Fortunately, I knew which was the men's and went on in. The startled old woman inside, however, did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 379

You deserved it 3 462

26/01/2016 17:05

Today, I was walking to class. While waiting at the crosswalk, a guy cat-called me from his car. I guess he was pissed that I didn't respond, because he purposely drove through a puddle and completely soaked me and the expensive textbook I was holding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 874

You deserved it 1 747

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Send a private message

Monday 22 December 2014 16:34

If the bus isn't running, you may need to start.

Send a private message

Monday 22 December 2014 16:41

You're from Australia, I thought you guys travelled on ostriches?

Comments

Send a private message

Monday 22 December 2014 16:34

If the bus isn't running, you may need to start.

Send a private message

Monday 22 December 2014 16:40

Sorry OP. hopefully you made it to your destination eventually.

Send a private message

Monday 22 December 2014 16:40

I'd get on finding a new one pretty quick if that's your method of transportation.

Send a private message

Monday 22 December 2014 16:41

You're from Australia, I thought you guys travelled on ostriches?

Send a private message

Monday 22 December 2014 17:03

And crocodiles

Send a private message

Monday 22 December 2014 17:08

And in kangaroo pouches apparently.

Send a private message

Monday 22 December 2014 20:00

It's called an emu not an ostrich, their American.

Send a private message

Monday 22 December 2014 23:12

Yeah, we don't have ostriches.... We have scary fucking emus though. But kangaroos are more frequent than emus, so travelling by kangaroo is quicker.

lndala 15

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 December 2014 2:53

I'm pretty sure ostriches are African...

Econforthwin 15

Send a private message

Monday 22 December 2014 16:42

Awh man, just missed it!

pwnman 33

Send a private message

Monday 22 December 2014 16:44

"Missed a bus that stopped running weeks ago, weeks ago......"

Exodiafinder687 58

Send a private message

Monday 22 December 2014 16:46

How often do you ride this bus if you didn't realize that it had stopped running 3 weeks ago?

Send a private message

Monday 22 December 2014 16:46

how did you figure out it stopped running.?

Send a private message

Monday 22 December 2014 16:57

Guess you better start running then :p

princesspeachxox 18

Send a private message

Monday 22 December 2014 17:13

Oh you live in Australia too! We've had recent random bus rescheduling and cancellations without warning in wa as well, they always cancel services without warning. FYL