By Anonymous - United States - Mooresville Today, immediately after being informed of the sketchy activities that take place in our store parking lot after dark, I'm handed an orange vest and told to go out there to retrieve carts. FML I agree, your life sucks 30551 You deserved it 2505 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Good_old_Grim - Latvia Today, I went to move my girlfriend's car. I failed to notice that the snow packed under the front bumper is actually ice. After a bit of struggle I managed to move the car. The bumper, however, is now a separate entity. FML I agree, your life sucks 22652 You deserved it 6773 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Tualatin Today, I completed my two-month internship, where I have been working as hard as I could with the hope of being hired. My boss couldn't remember my name, and declined to be a reference. FML I agree, your life sucks 20552 You deserved it 1417 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Absent - France Today, my friends let me win at strip poker so I wouldn't take off my clothes. FML I agree, your life sucks 36261 You deserved it 6495 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By West Today, I was promised that I wouldn't have to work late because I had tomorrow off for my birthday. My coworkers decided that none of them want to work late, and that I could do it. So I am stuck working late and have to come in on my birthday, which I had requested off. FML I agree, your life sucks 2122 You deserved it 196 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By no - United States Today, I locked myself out of my truck for the first time. While trying to unlock it, it started to rain. After half an hour, I successfully unlocked the door and then drove over my book bag, which I had placed underneath the car to keep it out of the rain. FML I agree, your life sucks 38320 You deserved it 14644 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 29/3/2020 23:00 Stuck in TV Hell Today, I'm self isolating with a mother who hogs the remote but doesn't know how to use it, and is so short-sighted she can barely see the TV. Every five minutes, I hear, "What have I done now?", "How have I got onto this then?" and she won't let me help her. FML I agree, your life sucks 1443 You deserved it 170 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lyinginbed - United Kingdom Today, I was walking through a field with my boyfriend and he picked me some pretty flowers. I hugged him and leant in to sniff them. In doing so, I inhaled a bee up my nose and had to force it out my swollen nostril after it had stung me. FML I agree, your life sucks 13228 You deserved it 1159 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By reallyupset - United States Today, my boyfriend became convinced that I cheated on him, and broke up with me, saying he would "get me back." When I came home, I found his key on my counter and my cat missing. FML I agree, your life sucks 32877 You deserved it 3526 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - India - Pune Send help! Today, I've managed to lock myself in my own bedroom. It won't open no matter what I do. FML I agree, your life sucks 1455 You deserved it 354 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fcnk - United States Today, I took home my grandpa's ashes. I then went out with my grandma, leaving my 5-year-old at home with my 12-year-old. When I got home, my beaming 5-year-old opened the door, covered in white powder. My grandmother asked where all the powder had come from. She pointed to the empty ashbox. FML I agree, your life sucks 49163 You deserved it 17981 261 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Ukraine Today, I took my 9-year-old sister to an ice cream shop. There we met a boy about her age, who started a conversation with her, told her she was pretty and they ended up exchanging numbers. I'm 24 and so far I've never succeeded at getting a girl's number like this. FML I agree, your life sucks 13650 You deserved it 1303 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NeedsANewApartment - United States - Wurtsboro Today, sewage came up the toilet and tub in my apartment and spread far enough to get into the hallway. The maintenance crew found the source of the blocked pipes to be a ten inch long weave some idiot flushed down a toilet. FML I agree, your life sucks 21490 You deserved it 1234 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Christen - United States Today, I walked out of the bathroom when two guys were checking me out and said "nice tail" I smiled and strutted to my next class. When I was about to sit down in my desk, the girl behind me said "did you know you have toilet paper hanging out of your pants?" FML I agree, your life sucks 18335 You deserved it 36572 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By genderbender - Reserved Today, I went to the new gym I recently signed up for and started exercising in the men-filled weights room, despite being intimidated by them and the strange looks they were giving me. Workout over, I left the room and saw in front of me a door marked "Women's weights room". Oh. FML I agree, your life sucks 13897 You deserved it 26948 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Cottonwood Today, I started my first day of work at our local humane society. I asked where the break room was, so my coworker directed me to a small room in the back of the building. The only place I get to take my lunch break is the same room where they euthanize, freeze and cremate the animals. FML I agree, your life sucks 28844 You deserved it 7889 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By krfenton8 Today, I had a bad feeling about walking to work because of the weather. Instead, I drove. My car slid on the ice and I created a four-car pile up. All three of the other people involved have decided to sue me. I should've walked. FML I agree, your life sucks 25481 You deserved it 4063 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dr. Virgin - United States Today, while working on a medical school application, I asked my mom what she thought my greatest challenge in life had been. She replied : "Trying to lose your virginity." FML I agree, your life sucks 78885 You deserved it 6487 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Cortland Today, I was fixing the plumbing at my father-in-law's house. I told him to shut off the water and yell to me when he did. A few minutes later, I heard a yell and removed the pipe. I was met with a face full of water. Turns out he was just very excited when the Rangers beat the Mariners. FML I agree, your life sucks 39840 You deserved it 3820 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 24/10/2020 02:03 - United States - Pittsburgh The past that suits you best Today, I found out that sorting and deleting old unnecessary emails to free up space meant reliving the most horrific memories I've ever experienced. Worse yet, I have to keep certain old messages in case these things ever come up again. FML I agree, your life sucks 981 You deserved it 87 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I realized just how bad my 28-year-old husband's gamer rage is when I came home to a smashed TV. This is the second TV in three months that he's destroyed. FML I agree, your life sucks 24957 You deserved it 4408 203 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Eyalsh - Germany - Greifswald Today, I came back to my dormitory after a long shift at work. After using the toilet, I looked at myself in the mirror, only to find a huge piece of food stuck between my front teeth. I work at one of the fanciest restaurants in town; nobody bothered to tell me anything. FML I agree, your life sucks 27324 You deserved it 2779 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Richocet - Canada Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I see my dad on a bike so I shout after him. He turns his head around and then runs into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 22104 You deserved it 36239 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jaime and Cersei sittin in a tree - 4/11/2020 13:02 - United States - Madison Family values Today, I complimented my girlfriend on her new, very detailed bikini wax. She proudly said, "Thanks! Troy’s been doing them for me since the all the salons have been locked down." Troy is her brother. FML I agree, your life sucks 1446 You deserved it 118 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LLCoolBean - United States Today, my boyfriend was inside a cell phone store talking to a sales guy while I waited outside. I sent him a text, not realizing that the guy was using his phone to call customer service. A topless photo of me shows up on his phone when I text him. The sales guy looked. Twice. FML I agree, your life sucks 11528 You deserved it 58696 153 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yapDogs - United States - Fort Myers Today, I sent a $120 bouquet of flowers for mother's day. When I called tonight see if my Mom got them, she replied that they were still on the doorstep because she "didn't want the dogs to get excited and start barking" when she opened the front door to bring them in. FML I agree, your life sucks 29752 You deserved it 2366 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By chase - New Zealand - Auckland Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML I agree, your life sucks 29115 You deserved it 53047 221 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 22/6/2020 02:02 Mind your beeswax, Karen Today, I was carrying some bags out of a store, and my shirt had scooted up a little. I had no free hands, so I ignored it. A woman stopped me to tell me that bare midriffs are only attractive on skinny girls, "not fat ones." I'm 6 months pregnant. FML I agree, your life sucks 1628 You deserved it 132 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ferniferousfern Today, I sat down to use the bathroom after a long day of work. My toilet, however, had other plans, as a spontaneous, ear shattering crack flooded the entire bathroom, soaking the outer carpet and shorting out my bathroom scale. FML I agree, your life sucks 1870 You deserved it 126 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts "GO F YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML I agree, your life sucks 32180 You deserved it 3468 198 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Davey Crocker - 23/4/2020 08:00 Stay safe, wear a hazmat suit Today, my coworker volunteered me to drop laptops off at two sites outside our normal areas. I asked if they were safe from COVID-19. "I don't know, but you're young. You'll be okay," responded the man who's been working from home for weeks. FML I agree, your life sucks 1488 You deserved it 164 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By grossedout - United States - Endicott Today, I actually had to explain to my husband why his habit of wiping his boogers off into our baby's hair has to stop. FML I agree, your life sucks 48034 You deserved it 3697 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hopeful - 27/2/2021 11:01 Sex work is work Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems to be making thousands doing it, so why not? Turns out that the only people interested in my body are scammers. FML I agree, your life sucks 442 You deserved it 141 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ella - United States Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML I agree, your life sucks 64302 You deserved it 28181 394 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Darren - 31/8/2020 04:01 - Australia - Greenacre MVP Today, during my second shift back at work after missing 4 weeks for knee surgery, I stabbed myself in the hand and now need 3 weeks off for that surgery. Just as I'm up for a promotion. FML I agree, your life sucks 1420 You deserved it 300 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By John LegoHair Today, a little girl asked me if I was wearing a wig. It's my real hair. FML I agree, your life sucks 1423 You deserved it 153 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By StillAVirgin - Denmark Today, my boyfriend said, "One day I'll tell my children how I met you. I mean, our children." It's pretty cute, except for the fact that we're 17 and have been dating for only two weeks. FML I agree, your life sucks 11633 You deserved it 1217 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Palmer Today, my mom told me she wasn't an alcoholic because she doesn't get "black out drunk" daily. She only gets drunk enough to slur her words and reek of alcohol daily, so it's okay. FML I agree, your life sucks 22079 You deserved it 1441 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Clermont Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML I agree, your life sucks 16924 You deserved it 41810 249 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By KayEffEh - Canada - Georgetown Today, my girlfriend admitted that she "probably wasn't even sober" when I asked her out and she said yes. Our almost 2-year relationship is the longest drunken mistake ever. FML I agree, your life sucks 38143 You deserved it 3430 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Caution Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML I agree, your life sucks 2115 You deserved it 560 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Econforthwin | 15 #6151172 - Monday 22 December 2014 17:40 I would ditch the high visibility vest and go full ninja cart wrangler mode. Send a private message 140 3 Reply
By countryb_cth | 38 #6151176 - Monday 22 December 2014 17:43 Have fun. Just remember you can do some serious damage with a cart :) Send a private message 90 4 Reply
By dreadlocmask | 15 #6151169 - Monday 22 December 2014 17:40 Damn that sucks Send a private message 28 3 Reply
By Econforthwin | 15 #6151172 - Monday 22 December 2014 17:40 I would ditch the high visibility vest and go full ninja cart wrangler mode. Send a private message 140 3 Reply
By Exodiafinder687 | 58 #6151173 - Monday 22 December 2014 17:42 Don't worry. Orange is the official color of The Parking Lot Crew so they'll think you're one of them and leave you alone. Send a private message 47 3 Reply
Reply quickit | 24 #6151209 - Monday 22 December 2014 18:09 I thought that orange was the new black. Send a private message 50 4 Reply
By countryb_cth | 38 #6151176 - Monday 22 December 2014 17:43 Have fun. Just remember you can do some serious damage with a cart :) Send a private message 90 4 Reply
Reply Duckzy | 16 #6151333 - Monday 22 December 2014 19:31 Yeah like when trying to ride it and you end up falling on your face... Send a private message 17 1 Reply
By twaal22 | 15 #6151178 - Monday 22 December 2014 17:44 Ninja mode status: activated Send a private message 28 3 Reply
By wolfman0_o | 17 #6151180 - Monday 22 December 2014 17:45 Hahahaha dude that sucks Send a private message 1 16 Reply
By feven | 32 #6151182 - Monday 22 December 2014 17:45 Try to blend in with the moon. There's really nothing else you can do Send a private message 19 1 Reply
By CoGhostRider | 31 #6151183 - Monday 22 December 2014 17:46 Ah work place hazing, nothing like it Send a private message 10 2 Reply
By davisjenny81 | 30 #6151184 - Monday 22 December 2014 17:46 Did you see any stock figures while you were out there? Hehe Send a private message 0 15 Reply
Reply davisjenny81 | 30 #6151376 - Monday 22 December 2014 20:01 It was sketchy out there, and stick figures are sketches, duh Send a private message 0 12 Reply
Reply chinaski7628 | 32 #6151433 - Monday 22 December 2014 20:55 Probably would've made more sense if you'd spelled 'stick' correctly in your first post.... Send a private message 14 0 Reply
Reply YepThatsMeee | 23 #6151472 - Monday 22 December 2014 21:33 If stick figures are sticky, are stock figures stocky? Send a private message 11 0 Reply
By Armygirl93 | 10 #6151186 - Monday 22 December 2014 17:47 Orange is the new black? Send a private message 4 19 Reply
Reply unicornluver3173 | 13 #6151762 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 4:24 -10 points from Griffindor Send a private message 7 1 Reply
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 442 You deserved it 141 4 Comments
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 439 You deserved it 181 4 Comments