Kids and Parents: Got 'em

Got 'em

By Anonymous - 20/01/2010 06:50 - United States

Today, my older brother and I were teasing our mom about her age. When we jokingly told her it was hard for us to watch our parents get old, she responded by saying, "Yeah, well, it's hard for me to watch my kids grow up and not have anyone who wants to marry them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 359

You deserved it 47 785

When Christmas Ends Badly…
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Same thing different taste

Under pressure

By No Pressure - 06/07/2022 04:00

Today, my mom asked me out of the blue if I was ever going to consider getting married. It wasn't until after the conversation ended that I remembered my siblings are all either single like I am, or incapable of having children. I am my mother's last hope of becoming a grandma, and she reminds me all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040

You deserved it 132

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 15:36 - United States - Mckinney

Today, my 5-year-old daughter said "Mommy, why doesn't anyone wanna marry you?" I've been asking myself the same question for all too many years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 949

You deserved it 1 975

By Stupendous_ - 03/12/2012 07:17 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, while visiting my widowed great aunt, she took out her wedding rings and talked about the love she and my uncle had. Smiling, I told her that one day I hope to have as happy a marriage as theirs. Her response? "Knowing you, I wouldn't count on it." My mother sat there agreeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 449

You deserved it 2 551

By loser - 02/03/2016 00:20 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, my mum asked when she's getting grandkids. I had to tell her that, at 21 years-old, I hadn't even managed to get a boyfriend yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 593

You deserved it 1 647

Vessels

By failed brood mare - 17/11/2013 17:46 - United States - Hollywood

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 768

You deserved it 3 129

The matchmaker

By Anonymous - 29/09/2022 07:30

Today, my mom has been aggressively trying to get me to marry one of her coworkers, who is around my age. Apparently she loves her like the daughter she always wanted, and since it would be silly to adopt her; she is determined she will be her daughter-in-law instead, whether I like it or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 407

You deserved it 137

By Anonymous - 21/06/2009 08:50 - Australia

Today, I was talking with my mother and expressed my slight disappointment at how many of my friends are getting into relationships, whereas I'm still single. My mother decided to encourage me by saying "Don't worry, sweetie. There are boys out there who don't go for looks. You'll be fine". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 191

You deserved it 4 023

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 12/04/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my 58 year-old mother told me she’s having a baby. Apparently she hasn’t started menopause yet, but assumed from her age she wouldn’t get pregnant when she started seeing a man she goes to bingo with. 58 years-old. My little brother/sister is going to be 36 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 87

Don't mess with Texas

By Anonymous - 08/03/2022 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my fiancé expressed concern for her mother's health and a desire to be with her in Texas. I called her mother, who is 69 years young and will outlive us all, and it came up that her brother's BFF, who my fiancé has been crushing on since she was a tween, just got divorced and moved back to Texas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 251

You deserved it 93

Supportive

By bopbop - 20/05/2009 01:21 - United States

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because she "wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 083

You deserved it 4 371

YoungE 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:14

lol what happened can joke but not take it?

SliceNthrice 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:05

snapppp

Comments

SliceNthrice 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:05

snapppp

soccer060 0

Monday 8 February 2010 6:07

dam rite

ILikePopCorn 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 21:58

YDI for being a lonely bastard and for starting with your mom.

VDG_fml 0

Sunday 4 April 2010 18:27

touché

getwild 0

Friday 9 April 2010 9:12

u got mama owned...

sugababy234565 0

Sunday 2 May 2010 17:38

at least she didn't say it JUST to you.

pipp360 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:07

sucks for you

Josk95 0

Sunday 29 August 2010 10:30

no he deserves it

girlygirl666 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:11

I guess she told you, huh?

YoungE 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:14

lol what happened can joke but not take it?

crankyinthemorn 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:19

Lolol....BURN!

junying 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:21

PWNED!

littleredrider 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:21

ahahaha. best comeback ever.

Jimboom 11

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:26

Don't dish it out if you can't take it yourself.

Shystai 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:43

YDI, your mom does a lot for you. So what if she's old? Jerk.

failuristic 3

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:50

Er... YDI for not being able to take your own joke thrown back at you? Yeah, that sounds about right.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 636

You deserved it 42 713

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 024

You deserved it 3 406

The Top

Today, my mom told me I wouldn't be able to take driver's education until at least my sixteenth birthday, because I'm, "Not ready to drive a car." Isn't that the whole point of driver's ed? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 374

Today, my wife asked me to come talk to her in the bedroom. Thinking she wanted to have a quickie while her sister was spending time with our son, I rushed into the room. She didn't want a quickie, she wanted a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 704

You deserved it 566

I really don't understand why...

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 135

Today, I'm a janitor at a middle school. Someone took a poo and placed it on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 180

You deserved it 732

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing with my pet rabbit when my boyfriend discovered poop on his lap. As he brushed it off, I reminded him that there are a lot worse things in the world than rabbit poop. Almost as if on cue, my rabbit peed on both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 036

You deserved it 21 746

Today, a work colleague was trying to kill a fly that was buzzing around the place. I was about to go on my break, but was stopped because she missed the fly and accidentally whacked me in the balls in the process. By the time I didn’t feel sick anymore, my break was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 76