Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was drinking coffee at work, while being surrounded by a lot of flies in the area I was working. Later, in the evening, I found a fly under my bottom denture plate. It'd been there for about 12 hours. FML
Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML
Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I made a smoothie with all the healthy ingredients I could find. As I took my first sip, I realized too late that I had accidentally blended in a dead fly that had fallen into the blender. FML
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, at a party, a fly flew into my mouth. I spat it out, and in an effort to wash my mouth out, I grabbed the can of coke that was on the table next to me. Apparently people had been spitting in there and using it as an ashtray. FML
Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse that somehow got stuck in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead mouse water for the past week. FML
Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML
Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Grootensliven 10
And not a shit was given that day
Lucia_Malpense 14
At least you haven't gotten to the point where you drink it fly and all.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (111)
GripItRight 10
I bet its naturally cleaner there than many places on a microscopic level.
9echo 17
Uhh...no.
onorexveritas 24
yeah, I think its time to move
LaurenAshleigh97 12
Ain't nobody got time for that!
ICastillo 25
^^ And with that another funny phrase was overused and made not funny.
Coolaaron88 9
The amount of ***** given? Zero.
Pwuj 6
No matter how you try and word it,. That statement has been said already,. Try and come up with sumthn' new.,
buckdharma 38
That was the fly that just od'd on elephant shit. Kenya just not do that op?
dmoran20 27
For only a dollar a day....
BunchieRules 31
Call the number on your screen right now to provide the necessary food and care--IN THE ARMS OF AN ANGEL!
PenguinBitch 44
Let me guess, you do the same for your meals but instead of flies it's roaches.
HouseElf 13
I don't understand your logic. Flies like food too.
trellz17 19
I wonder what it's like to live in foreign places like that.
dmoran20 27
Now u know
trellz17 19
Not all places are bad or uncomfortable to live in.
Sangel199 8
its not even like that. it has nothing to do with where he lives. my bf and his family are Kenyan and moved to the US 4 yrs ago. I was at their house and a bug.landed in my drink. his ssister immediately grabbed it and dumped it out. it was his choice. not where he lived
Harshdfml 14
Bear Grylls, is that you..?!
Sputnikspak 13
He'd have swallowed it in a drink. But only if the drink was piss.
shutupAnderson 7
Hey at least you're not going to be a wacky germophobe once you leave! On the downside I hope you don't let yourself go.
Geneside 8
Dude what you on about. I bought a beer stil sealed with a roach in it. Or canned food with a rat in it. Grow a pair pussy. This is africa!
buckdharma 38
#26-Have you ever drank changaa?
dmoran20 27
Yes because growing a pair obviously means we can just lie about our life experiences Or maybe we earn the power of utter bullshit....
iammeorami 25
Waka waka eh eh