Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was drinking coffee at work, while being surrounded by a lot of flies in the area I was working. Later, in the evening, I found a fly under my bottom denture plate. It'd been there for about 12 hours. FML
Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML
Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I made a smoothie with all the healthy ingredients I could find. As I took my first sip, I realized too late that I had accidentally blended in a dead fly that had fallen into the blender. FML
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, at a party, a fly flew into my mouth. I spat it out, and in an effort to wash my mouth out, I grabbed the can of coke that was on the table next to me. Apparently people had been spitting in there and using it as an ashtray. FML
Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse that somehow got stuck in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead mouse water for the past week. FML
Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML
Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML
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Top comments
Grootensliven 10
And not a shit was given that day
Lucia_Malpense 14
At least you haven't gotten to the point where you drink it fly and all.
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Comments (111)
Fayleah 0
Consider it a blessing! Now to you a simple, clean apartment is heavenly, while others take it for granted. Also thank glob you don't have to deal with OCD. I usually have to raid the kitchen of every dish until I've found a clean one. It got so bad that I'd rather waste my money on paper products.
fleeper 13
Early, early this morning I got up from my awesome sleepover because I felt something drip from my nose. Panicking, I ran to the bathroom. When I got there, there was only snot dripping out of my nose. Flows like a river. FML.
PeriodCrampsSuck 6
Just wanted to say that not all of Kenya is like this.... For all of you who may have assumed that.
Qabhadmus 13
Oops
TheGamingGamer 28
That shut is ******* disgusting.
Adrenoch 0
You're pretty safe because mulch has no shit in it you're thinking of compost.