Today, I tried to wake my husband up in the middle of the night by kissing him deeply and massaging his neck and shoulders. He opens his eyes, looks at me, says "No", and goes back to sleep. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML
Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML
Today, I woke up earlier than most days, I spooned my wife, gently massaging her back and letting her feel I was ready for play. She finally woke up, got dressed, and didn’t give a damn. I had to work it out myself once again. FML
Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
iFruit 0
YDI. I'd be pissed if someone woke me in the middle of the night unless the house was burning down or something.
Candisemo 0
i would want my sleep too, but thats no reason to call this girl fat or ugly. you have no idea what she looks like so dont judge her. being mean on the internet is really not anything to be proud of.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (67)
lahp 0
ROFLCOPTERED! xD LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLLLLOOOLLLL sorry thats just funny :P u got owned long time :P
JellyBellie89 0
stop molesting your boyfreinf
oompaaa 0
hes sleeping ..who likes sleepy sex?....stupid bitch let the man sleep
ladiesman14 0
i better not get woken up unless its from a bj or reverse cowboy. one of my FWB's tried to kiss me and wake me in a deep sleep. this was after watching that movie Arachnaphobia. I thought i was being attacked by a tarantula so i woke up and took a swing. fortunately i only hit the mattress.
Cyanidical_child 0
XD Favorited.
donovanrammstein 3
So if a girl turns down her guy for sex, it's normal, but if a guy turns down his girl, it's an FML? Didn't know guys had to be ******...
fucking_shit_fml 0
i would be ******* pissed. lol. so sad !
MrFail_fml 0
lol
Nocturnalbamf 0
.....maybe you need a new man if he didnt like that
burgydagamer 0
you shoulve said HO!! i do wat i want!!!!!