Today, I tried to wake my husband up in the middle of the night by kissing him deeply and massaging his neck and shoulders. He opens his eyes, looks at me, says "No", and goes back to sleep. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML
Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML
Today, I woke up earlier than most days, I spooned my wife, gently massaging her back and letting her feel I was ready for play. She finally woke up, got dressed, and didn’t give a damn. I had to work it out myself once again. FML
Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML
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Top comments
iFruit 0
YDI. I'd be pissed if someone woke me in the middle of the night unless the house was burning down or something.
Candisemo 0
i would want my sleep too, but thats no reason to call this girl fat or ugly. you have no idea what she looks like so dont judge her. being mean on the internet is really not anything to be proud of.
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Comments (67)
fmyeffinglifekth 0
I say all sorts of things in the middle of the night when I'm half awake. This isn't a fml.
bittersweet1 0
been there. and that's what toys are for :)
Wessels17 0
What a fail
OHnathanIO 4
I love sleep too much to say FYL because I know how he feels lol. But no YDI either, at least you tried ;)
jjnotantibi 2
Eh happens. .
RoseCrystal 17
sounds like my boyfriend....
zoe768532 1
"NO" that's like he is talking to a dog.
mckay19 0
LOL
ecstasy22 12
YDI..who wants to wake up in middle of night after a tiring day
ecstasy22 12
sleep is more imp tham make out