Today, I tried to wake my husband up in the middle of the night by kissing him deeply and massaging his neck and shoulders. He opens his eyes, looks at me, says "No", and goes back to sleep. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML
Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML
Today, I woke up earlier than most days, I spooned my wife, gently massaging her back and letting her feel I was ready for play. She finally woke up, got dressed, and didn’t give a damn. I had to work it out myself once again. FML
Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML
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Top comments
iFruit 0
YDI. I'd be pissed if someone woke me in the middle of the night unless the house was burning down or something.
Candisemo 0
i would want my sleep too, but thats no reason to call this girl fat or ugly. you have no idea what she looks like so dont judge her. being mean on the internet is really not anything to be proud of.
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Comments (67)
AshleysWorld 0
Well, what a fricken tool. XD
wolf2584 0
faved rofl i have 2 faves the one below yu and yurs!!
axlman 0
i would totally do you!! that is anytime!!lol
candyapplecorn 0
let the guy sleep fffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccc-
DontMindMe 0
If my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night, I'd say the exact same thing. YDI.
Sixpakastan 0
Massaged the wrong spot.
clayton18 0
Ok so he could have been a little more polite about it... but 2 things, number1 he was probably tired maybe pick a better spot next time, second of all as #39 said you were messaging the wrong spot lol
newmanlyman3 8
you dumb a** just try again tomorrow you are wasting up fml's
ccc01 1
"No" . . . "No"
Diannaa 0
LMAO.... Wow "no"... Really? that suuuucks. FYL