Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML
Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad, so we went to the edge of a cliff to relieve ourselves. He peed and it came and hit me in the face. He did it on purpose, so I decided to get him back and peed at him. The wind changed direction and hit me in the face again. FML
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, I tried to pull the old "bucket of water above the door" prank on my brother, but the bucket didn't fall when he opened the door. He noticed it, took it down, then pinned me to the floor and waterboarded me with the ice-cold water. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
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Top comments
DearCricket 0
Instant Karma :)
dragonaair 5
You deserve it, asshole.
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Comments (72)
GiggidyPants 0
way to be
mrahhhhh 21
Huh my first moderation of one of my comments. . I didn't even say anything like "fake" or something shocking or spam but whatever I guess. OP please satisfy your need to see people peeing themselves in other ways. I hear that there's a sublevel (literally and figuratively) of pornography just for that.
MAGNAVOX 0
I think they considered it advertisement.
mrahhhhh 21
Yeah probably. This is what I put: "You're on the wrong website, dummy. This is FMYLIFE, not FAILBLOG." I was speaking to OP, not everybody in general. They must have taken this comment to mean "everybody get on Failblog." I meant to imply that OP shouldn't be considering his day messed up, and that he failed. Hard. Mods, don't edit this comment. I was just quoting my other comment to explain it and keep people from overflowing my inbox asking why I got modded (I got a message like 5 seconds after getting modded asking me what I did. Plus as I already explained, I wasn't advertising stuff.
MAGNAVOX 0
Dude why would you restate it? lol
MAGNAVOX 0
I can't stop laughing mrahhh! Let that be your lesson!:P
FFML_314 12
It was moderated for a reason. Even if you don't consider it to be worthy of being moderated. Also, I don't recommend repeating the very same thing you were already moderated for.
mrahhhhh 21
Guess I can't even try to redeem myself. Well I give up. The hell with this. :( :(.
CreateZ 0
I'm pretty sure that pornography is German... Oh my god I feel like a MAJOR pervert right now >.<
TheLetterZero 7
Don't feel too surprised. Sometimes they moderate comments that break none of the rules. Probably just for fun.
oshi16toofly 0
that's wat yu get! that's a mean thing to do
valley_dragon 0
I'm with you on this one blue.
dontfmlplzzz 6
I'd do it again then when he wakes up punch him in the face
Maxgolub 13
lol
Nerry_fml 0
LOL
IReadAlotOfFmls 0
OP is obviously a douchebag becauseif someones sleeping late at night u don't need to **** with him so therefore **** you OP,and you deserve it. (:
Thanateros 1
If it was me I would've thrown you down the stairs, douchebag.
IReadAlotOfFmls 0
Tueshay, I would of thrown him down the stairs..... then take his wallet, then kick him in the balls and leave. (:
Cinn_fml 23
Why, why do people think it's cool and/or funny to take advantage of others sleeping? Well, ok, by that I mean doing something that they can't live down, such as what you did OP, and permanent marker... Attempting to balance things on them, or stuff that won't have a long-last effect is ok. Anyway, back on subject, you deserved this OP, how can you not think you do? You tried to embarrass him, so he took steps to make sure you didn't.
IReadAlotOfFmls 0
Agreed, those jokes are old,childish,and once again, OP you deserve it. (:
KomodoDragon 0
cinn, I hope someone messes with u real bad one day! just cuz it would be funny
IReadAlotOfFmls 0
Hehe, Cinn ur gonna get pranked to then your gonna fml, then I will eat victory (:
Cinn_fml 23
That's because you're both immature, KomodoDragon and IReadAlotOfFmls. Please go away.
CreateZ 0
Seems like you know your stuff when it comes to embarassing people?
Telinaa 0
#32.- It's what guys do. If they're friends, they'll go to all levels to humiliate each other. My guy friends do anyway. You'll get over it one day.
Cinn_fml 23
I was questioning why, not whether it happens, I just don't understand it. I mean it's fun to play Buckaroo with a sleeping person, but that doesn't involve anything horrible like wetting the bed or permanent marker on their forehead. It's the latter examples I don't understand the fun in doing.
aimeec110 14
Hear hear
kindlystfupls 0
lmao. I would pay to see that!