I'm thirty, and my mother's controlling and abusive behaviour is one of the main reasons I ever got poor grades at school, as well as why I still occasionally have issues with interacting to people. You don't see how far the effects of your dictactorship go at the start, but you might feel it once your grown children proceed to cut off your toxidity from their lives. You reap what you sow, they say...

My children and I are very close, thank you very much. My daughters are in their 20s, both hard workers and we visit quite often. They weren't abused, I can count on one hand the number of times they were spanked, but they were disciplined and made aware of rules and consequences and respect for their elders. My sons are still in high school and have been taught the same values. You can be a tough parent without being abusive.

What is the point of all that? If you're trying to raise your children to be good, productive members of society, why all the "do as I say not as I do" stuff? Why is there this "do what I say without question" mentality? Don't you want your kids to grow up to question what they're told, to be their own thinkers and to question authority? Yes your kids need to listen to you, but why not talk to them like human beings (Especially once they're old enough to understand) and then impose your will? I know a lot of parents (mine included) who just made their decisions and got angry if they "had to explain themselves to a child". What is wrong with showing that you're not being arbitrary, that there is thought and logic and reason behind what you say and do? Explaining yourself won't always work, but atleast trying before imposing your will shows that you respect your child is intelligent enough to understand and that you aren't just doing things because you can. A lot of parents go in this weird power trip with their kids and they make the most random calls just because they can. Controlling your kid because of an actual reason is one thing, making random calls just because you can is another. Also, the whole "I pay for things so I decide every tiny aspect of your life even the things that are insignificant" thing is idiotic. Congratulations, here's a gold star for providing food and shelter. Yes you work hard to provide, yes it's important. But when you pull that crap out as ammunition, it makes it sound like your children are a burden and that you get nothing out of being a parent. That you get no pleasure or satisfaction and that you know take care of them because you have to. Do you know what that crap does to kids? It makes them want to move out ASAP because their parents act like the kids owe them for raising them and bringing them into the world. Yes, you raised them, yes you're not a deadbeat, congrats on not being scum. That doesn't mean your children owe you their unwavering alliegence and obedience. If you're reasonable and treat them like human beings, explain shit to them, then yeah, do what's best if you have to. If you control shit for the sake of controlling shit, then you need to get your ass in gear and actually parent instead of being a drill sargent .

Yes, because you know all the in and outs to my parenting from one post. Assume much do you? Where did I say I pull it out as ammunition? You don't know how I impart my goals on my children. There are ways to reach parental goals without being a vindictive ass. Sorry if that is how your parents are. My points were made to be clear and concise for an audience I felt believe the world owes them an ass kissing. Doesn't matter, I know what type if relationship I have with my children and that they are wonderful, kind, hardworking individuals that don't expect people to kiss their asses. So, I will go enjoy the day BBQing with those children today, and thank God he gave my the opportunity to parent them instead of the hateful asses on here. Have a good day. ?

First, it was more of a general "you" with some reference to the things you've said. Also, you're telling us not to make assumptions about you based on what you've said, but you're making assumptions about an entire generation as a whole based on their age. Every generation thinks that the generation after them has 'gone to hell in a hand basket' and that the way theyre raising their kids is the right way and that every other kid in the world is a lazy self centered lump. We have the lowest crime rate in history, the highest rate of high-school graduation, the highest rate of college attendance and graduation, the highest rate of teen suicide, the fewest job opportunities, the highest cost of living and the lowest minimum wage in proportion to the cost of living in the last fifty years. But we're "spoiled" , "expect everything to be handed to us", are "self-centered", and "lazy". I'm sick of this tirade against kids, teens and young people today. Your generation broke the world, we're just living in it until we can fix it ourselves.

I love your response so much. And I totally agree with you. My mom doesn't play that with me or my sister and I'm 21. She lives by the her house her rules school of child rearing and was raised the same way you were. I find no fault in that and plan to in the future have a similar outlook when I eventually have children. I see no reason that could justify this child trying to usurp his fathers position as head of household unless he wants to start paying all the bills.

No one's asking to be coddled or have their ass kissed. They're asking to be treated as an equal. And believe me, if child labor laws didn't exist, I would've moved out at the age of 11 and supported myself. "I paid for it" isn't a fair argument because the kid doesn't have that choice. Not to mention they spend 10-12 hours a day, sometimes on weekends too (including homework/studying, if they get good grades), doing something they don't want to do, for no pay. How are they supposed to earn a living at the same time? OP's kid was minding his own business and entertaining himself. The internet didn't exist when you were a kid, so here's a comparison: you're outside playing catch. Your dad comes out, takes away your ball and glove, and says, "I paid for this. Entertain yourself!" What a dick. Your job is not to control. Your job is to guide. Be a leader, not a boss. Be a president, not a king. And believe me, there are many kids that would get out if they had the chance. Saying "Go support yourself" isn't reasonable when they'd be reeled into a foster home and charged with truancy. Is dropping out and running away something you genuinely want your kids to consider? Your kid works more hours than you do, at a job they're not allowed to quit, and doesn't get paid. If they want to spend an hour watching stupid videos on YouTube, what difference does it make to you? How would you feel if your kid cut off the TV and said, "No more TV today. Go ride a bike! Play outside! Use your imagination!" That's how your kids feel ALL THE TIME. At least you're honest about the dictatorship angle. Can you follow that up with "I would hate to know anyone like myself," or "If I had me as a boss, I wouldn't last a week," or "I could be classified as evil?" Can you go ahead and say that to your kids, too? They'd appreciate hearing it from you.

Bitch I'm in high school, and I have 35 in school, plus hours of homework a night. And i aint got no wifi either

You know, in dictatorships, the oppressed people often rise up and kill the dictator. Just a thought. Hurray for metaphors!

Well aren't you so much better than everyone else here. Please teach us.

I love what you wrote, thank you!

That's the thing though he wasn't bugging his parents he was having fun with what was provided so stop trying to be smart if your argument holds 0 weight on any point of this comment.

If you don't want criticism on your parenting and only want sympathy, FML is not the place for you.

I have no problem with criticism since the opinions of the people on here don't mean shit to me in the long run. Criticize away if it brings light or meaning to your life. Back to friends and family. I'm out of here. ?

Because kids often aren't allowed to speak up for themselves. Someone has to.

Why is OP acting like turning off the cable is so traumatizing? To be fair, he's not. "He got me back" sort of implies he understands he deserved it. Make a list of the greatest villains in history. Did they have rules for everyone else that they themselves didn't have to follow, nor justify? Did they say "Here are the rules, deal with it," and expect it to work? Now think of the greatest heroes in history, the ones who stood up against said villains. How did they act by comparison? We all love our parents? Machiavelli would have something to say about using the word "love" here. Go to Google, type in "I hate my mom/dad/parents" and see how many results you get.

I was using "we" to refer to my siblings and how we feel about our parents. I wasn't speaking for all people. I'm perfectly aware that parents can be abusive and misuse their authority. And like it or not there are different rules for both adults and children. Most of the time there are logical reasons for why this is. Teachers and students at school have different rules. Some of them are similar and some of them are completely different. There is a separate penal system for children with different rules of conduct and etiquette because it is recognized that children are not the same as adults. Maybe OP deserved it. Maybe he recognized the irony in the situation and thought it was funny. Maybe the kid had been told to do something and kept refusing to move. It just seems like everyone leaped to calling this parent an abusive monster without acknowledging that maybe this punishment isn't as dire as everyone is making it out to be.

No a parent doesn't need to go that far just ask the kid to get off and lead by example. I doubt that parent kept it disabled while the kid left he probably turned it back on and jacked off to **** or something

Disrespectful parents like this, who use fear tactics, passive aggressive, hypocritical approaches, and think they're superior to their kids just because of age and the title of "parent" will destroy the future of our society. Oh, my bad, it's already been like that for hundreds of years, and it's getting BETTER, with the YOUNGER generations. Because the younger generations don't have a superiority complex, and they don't think they're entitled to treat people younger than them however they want just because they were put on this earth first. They realizes we're ALL people, and we ALL deserve BASIC respect, until a person is an asshole that shows otherwise, and that if you wanted to be treated with respect as an authority, you EARN it, by being respectful yourself. You DO NOT get authoritative respect just because of age and a meaningless title.

what are kids slaves to you ? parents like you hypocritical lazy always having kids do work them are what is ruining society!!! like what don't we switch places for a day and have you do every single thing these so called lazy ungrateful society ruining kids want.