Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I tried to open a can with a potato peeler. For a minute I forgot what a can opener looked like. FML
Today, after complaining all my life that no one makes a decent can opener, I have realised that I have been using them the wrong way. I finally figured out that the cutting blade goes on the SIDE of the can not the TOP. I'm 57 years old. FML
Today, I spent my lunch break trying to open a jar of pickles that had been stuck for weeks. I finally gave up and asked a coworker for help. He tapped the lid once with a spoon and it opened immediately. I'd been fighting a pickle jar every day for a month. FML
Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML
Today, I struggled to open a childproof bottle, which, by the way, had the instructions printed on the lid. FML.
Today, I attempted to open a water bottle. My hand started bleeding before I was able to get the cap loose. FML
Today, I tried drinking "Smart Water" for the first time. I couldn't figure out how to open the bottle. FML
Today, I tried to open a jar by tapping the lid on the counter. I tapped it so hard, the jar shattered, and I now have more spaghetti sauce on my pyjama pants than in the pot. FML
Today, while I brewed myself a cup of coffee, my best friend began screwing around with a can opener like it was nunchucks. He looked at me and said, "Wouldn't it suck if…" as he flung it around, and one of the handles flew off, directly into my testicles. FML
Today, I couldn't open a jar of mayo and my cousin had to open it for me. She's a 16 year-old girl and I'm a 24 year-old guy. FML
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Top comments
jim69_fml 0
seriously it's not that hard to use a manual can opener.... tard
tati3092 1
hahah ur a little slow or alot
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Comments (253)
MiSSxxuNDeRSTooD 4
YDI. That's just ****** pathetic.
oliver86 8
I open my cans with a katana
nickbw 0
Geezus people are so f-ing lazy! electric can openers are a waste of money!!! do some motor skills, what is wrong with you!
irokyoursox 6
that's so funny! sounds like something I might do (but for five minutes not an hour)
jose1760 1
next time read "opening a can for dummies" they have that book at the retard section at Barns and Nobles.
jose1760 1
next time read "opening a can for dummies" they have that book at the retard section at Barns and Nobles.
XxdarkangelxX13 0
wow..... lmfao :P
luckyluke2000 2
ur so dumb.
whoknew10 0
YOUR RETARDED!!!!!
crauen 0
how is this an fml? u got the ravioli