By Screwed - 07/06/2014 13:31 - Australia

Today, I took some heavy pain medication before calling my boyfriend. I don't remember the call, but apparently confessed to really liking corn, and faking orgasms. FML
I agree, your life sucks 50 391
You deserved it 15 798

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That he's going to start feeding her corn on the cob before having sex. It's really the only logical reply.

Well..what did he say?


Well..what did he say?

That he's going to start feeding her corn on the cob before having sex. It's really the only logical reply.

What do you think happened, obviously she acted like a dumbass and the dude told her about it later. Classic YDI case.

actually 13, your wrong its NOT a classic YDI case. The op didnt tell us whether she had a painful condition that she REQUIRES medication, and whether or not she took the right dose or not. answers to those questions COULD mean its not her fault, you cant blame someone for taking their prescribed medication for intense pain and having loopy effects. (obviously if she did it to get high then its ydi)

#35, I'd say it is her fault for faking orgasms in the first place though.

#43 - yeah i agree with you, in that way she has some fault. as long as your not saying ydi for dumb reasons

I understand why she kept the ****** thing a secret but why did she "confess" to really liking corn? Did she lie about that too??

Wow 13... Classic YDI?? I was in an accident a 18 months ago that crushed 2 discs in my back. I couldn't even walk. Maybe you're man enough to walk that off but I'm telling you- Yes! I took the pain meds. Dilaudid and morphine and whatever. I apparently don't have a subliminal fetish for corn and I can guarantee I've never faked an O. But I did behave like a sentimental old fool and told my wife things a normal Midwestern raised man doesn't say. I had total diarrhea of the mouth, but in hardly consider I deserved it. Maybe you need some perspective.

You've had experience taking heavy medications, so you know not to talk to anyone or do anything while under their influence, lest you pass yourself off as a loose-tongued drunkard. The warning against operating machinery on the label should give folks a clue as to just how powerful are the drugs they're taking. I'd give this one a YDI.

#68 "youve been taking these meds you should know".. the fml doesnt state whether it was among her first times taking them (which it COULD be) or that she already knew she acted this way on them. but youve already assumed one way without considering it all. and by the way, lots of meds have warnings not to drive and such, only because of the drowsieness, not nessasarily becauses of the effects op witnessed. theres no "dont talk to family/spouse". of course i could be wrong

its like, dont ****** blame people for wanting to call their boyfriend when theyre in pain, its sad

51, if you wrote this how come you stated you were a female calling your boyfriend in the post, but now you're a "Midwestern male" that called your wife? I'm confused.

he didn't say that, 77...

77 - the person you are talking about did NOT say they were the poster of the fml, they just said their own personal story and relating it to the op.....

Ahh ok, that makes sense. The way he was wording his comment made it seem as if he was claiming to be the OP which is why I said I was confused. I apologize for my mistake.

the confusion's understandable, lol

Hey this is the corn lover who posted this, just thought I'd share a lil background info. I have two ruptured discs in my back, hence the medication, and accidentally took two pills and one panadol, as the heavy meds look almost identical to panadol. About the orgasms, my boyfriend is the sweetest guy on the planet and as I took his virginity he doesn't have much experience. He is getting better but was really worried he didn't do anything for me because I didn't come. I'm aware I'm a total cow for faking but it made him happy and was only once. As to his reaction, I found out about it the next morning and when I admitted it was true (both the faking and the corn) he wasn't mad at me, only really depressed cause now he thinks that I find him unattractive. He's 6 foot tall, curly brown hair, blue eyes and an amazing set of abs/biceps. I'm officially the worst gf in the world. On the corn note, I really do love it and have been craving it for about a week:/ Btw I'm new to FML and I think I already posted this but can't find it? Such a ditz.

flame5768 14

someone takes pain medication, everyone know pain medication makes you crazy, she calls her BF...not classic but a ydi all the same

I'd think it her fault for calling her boyfriend after taking a heavy pain medication. I mean you would expect it to make you a little out of it.

Meds always seem to give a loose tongue...

Demig0d6 14

That's pretty corny

euphoricness 28

Stop faking it, 29. You know it was funny!

Looks like we now need an ****** comment...cum on!

That's embarassing. But on the bright side OP's bf is going to try harder at sex. And don't fake!!!!

well, that sucks, but now he knows he has to try harder in bed! cheer up! He might get better:)

#3: I feel like you're way too optimistic about the outcome of her having lied about (by faking) and insulted her boyfriend's skills as a lover...

did he know she was faking the orgasms? she could just say she got a little too excited about the corn...

WuDi 6

Wait... was she faking it with corn? I'm cornfused now...

While I don't think it's likely, it's possible she has only ever faked a few random orgasms (making it less of a big deal) and for some reason told him about it. Or it's even possible she has never faked them and she lied about it while loopy from the meds.

#53: Sure, anything's possible, but all we've got to go on is the FML. Everything else is guessing.

I'm optimistic about life in genera!

Being an optimist in not always healthy. A dash of realism will keep you grounded, as opposed to your head in the clouds.

Was he surprised by your corn addiction?

Timerider_fml 7

I'm sure yes, it's common to fake ****** ^^

I have a corn addiction. When I was in high school, I probably ate a can of creamed corn almost every day

91hayek 31

I would have liked to been at that intervention. "All those ears and you aren't even listening! We love stop hurting yourself!"

Hopefully he knows it's just the meds talking. Hopefully.

I think the point is that it's probably not just the meds talking

ninety 25

I think it's the meds making her talk, but not the meds actually doing the talking.

BlueFlatts 20

If meds could talk? What a strange world this would be.

6demon6spawn6 12

I would assume that it is obviously not a good idea to do anything after taking heavy pain meds, but I guess not.

wrong, calling your boyfriend to talk is not something id generally be worried about if i took meds. you refrain from things like driving and operating machinery, ect. but if your not allowed to talk at all , especially to the one whos suppose to support you while you are feeling down, then fuckkkk. (obviously she didnt know the extend of the effects til afterwards, but not her fault)

Who doesn't like corn? :)

Me. I hate corn in every form but popped. I love popcorn.

You're really not supposed to eat corn... it has no nutritional value. =/

Corn can protect the body from cancer and heart disease. It's actually quite good for you, it's the toppings people put on it that makes it bad. But if you use smart balance butter and a small amount of salt, it's very nutritious.

I have no clue whether 49 is right or not so I'll ignore the comment. But even if corn has no nutritional value why does that equal "not really supposed to eat"?

Good point 60. I guess the people above never eat cake or cookies or candy.

BlueFlatts 20

Our body just has a difficult time absorbing the nutritional value from corn, due to the kernel casing.

Let me clear things up. PEOPLE EAT CAKE BECAUSE IT TASTES GOOD. NO ONE EATS CAKE BECAUSE THEY THINK "oh hey this sounds healthy" or some shit like that. I LIKE CORN BECAUSE IT FEELS GOOD ON MY TEETH. Ok? Now stfu about how it's "not very good for you." I don't ******* care.

How the **** do YOU eat your corn?

I remember when I first confessed to my parents that I really liked corn. It was a hard day, but we pulled through, together. Keep fighting the good fight OP.

Accidentally clicked YDI on this FML, accidentally thumbed down your comment. It's been a tough day

Don't worry, raptor jesus forgives all

I'm about to come out and say I like potatoes. They're just so...round and beautiful. So tasty too. Any advice?

Corn is really good...

Drake_The_Dragon 23

Well that corn thing must have just broke him up.