Today, I took some heavy pain medication before calling my boyfriend. I don't remember the call, but apparently confessed to really liking corn, and faking orgasms. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML
Today, after doing it with my girlfriend, she told me that she was "faking the whole time, and thinking of talking cupcakes." FML
Today, I got a little too drunk and confessed to my fiancé, the love of my life, that I've been faking my orgasms all along. I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML
Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML
Today, my boyfriend thought he gave me unimaginable pleasure. I didn't have the heart to tell him I had cramp in both my legs at the same time. FML
Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML
Today, I was having a hot telephone conversation with my boyfriend who lives in another state. Unfortunately, I even have to fake orgasms during phone sex. FML
Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML
Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML
Today, I went back home after seeing the doctor, I told my boyfriend my new medicine might cause some mood swings. He immediately grabbed his phone and pretended to take a call, then rushed out. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
That he's going to start feeding her corn on the cob before having sex. It's really the only logical reply.
drivingmissdaisy 13
Well..what did he say?
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Comments (120)
buckdharma 38
Friends, Romans, cuntrymen, lend me your ears!
abusch 9
You took heavy pain meds before calling your boyfriend.. Is it usually such a painful experience that you felt the need to prepare? ;)
alaen23 23
Well maybe he'll try now?
Saraishi 25
I wish I could eat corn on the cob right now. Con of having braces.
Saraishi 25
*I wish I could eat corn on the cob right now. Con of having braces. YDI for not being honest tho. Communication makes for better sex, so you're cheating yourself and your bf of that by faking orgasms. It's not good for your relationship either.
Kenna515 13
what did he say?
kasmol 16
You must not like corn that much if you have to fake orgasms. Try branching out beyond grains into fruits and vegetables.
kasmol 16
The only way the guy will learn is by being told or shown. If you go through the motions but feel nothing, we are thinking, "Hot damn, I got it going on." Walk him through it, let him watch you...hell draw diagrams. Just get the message across.
Confidentkid 10
Was you liking corn really a big confession? :)
JJ_86 22
Maybe she meant ****.
smiley1014 23
I knew it!