Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy at a seafood restaurant. I explained to him that I am deathly allergic to shrimp. When the waiter took my order, he interrupted me and said, “She’ll have the shrimp," while looking me dead in the eye. FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML
Today, my girlfriend of five months told me that she had booked us reservations to our town's Halloween barbecue party. When I reminded her that I'm vegan, she told me she specifically got the reservations to help me to quit my "stupid fad". Weird, I never knew being a devout Hindu was a fad. FML
Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML
Today, I was having a vegetarian meal at my date's house. She was very proud because she grew all the veggies herself; she even made the fertiliser herself. I was halfway through the meal before I asked what she meant by "made her own fertiliser." It was human shit; her own human shit. FML
Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
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Top comments
ThatGuyWhoTalks 10
It's ok OP. You obviously have a brain or else you wouldn't have been able to post this.
mollyjynxjax 28
The word she was looking for was pescatarian (the term for someone who eats fish meat but not any other kind of meat). So she was stupid to be arrogant in the first place, and doubly so for getting the term wrong.
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Comments (250)
DelphiCat 17
In all seriousness, if you eat fish, stop saying you're vegetarian. You are a pescatarian. No one will ever learn if you don't tell people what it means - you think everyone magically woke up one day knowing what a vegetarian was? (clearly not since some commenters still don't) In the meantime, i'm sick of being offered fish because people think that's vegetarian, because pescatarians have told them so! For the record, if you eat chicken, there is no term for you, you just don't eat red meat. Simples.
mariof13579 4
Yes,the Brains of a shrimp
abbey728 16
Been a vegetarian for 6 years. Never ate shrimp.
hickeyboy42 11
*dumbest vegetarian alive*
lil_mars 1
That's PESCATARIANISM... (not eating any meat excluding seafood) ...what a ******* idiot. Tell her to do her research before making any big life decisions, jeez.
tompou6 19
It really depends what kind of vegan she is, some vegans won't even touch sea food.
simsgirlgem 25
your girlfriend is a dumb ass I have never been an herbivore but my sister has she had to give it up when she joined the Navy so as to pay for college since there wouldn't be a wide selection for things like protein on board a ship but my sister and I always said this if it had a pulse and didn't need help from the wind or water to move back and forth then its not veggie approved so since a shrimp had a pulse and did not need the water to help move its meat
fallenangel62483 2
explain to her she is NOT a vegetarian she is a pesitarian... they eat fish but no other meats
Xotoolyxo 16
When she's not looking, take some of her shrimp
ThErAlSlImShAdY 2
That would be a pescatarian, vegetarians who also eat fish.