Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy at a seafood restaurant. I explained to him that I am deathly allergic to shrimp. When the waiter took my order, he interrupted me and said, “She’ll have the shrimp," while looking me dead in the eye. FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML
Today, my girlfriend of five months told me that she had booked us reservations to our town's Halloween barbecue party. When I reminded her that I'm vegan, she told me she specifically got the reservations to help me to quit my "stupid fad". Weird, I never knew being a devout Hindu was a fad. FML
Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML
Today, I was having a vegetarian meal at my date's house. She was very proud because she grew all the veggies herself; she even made the fertiliser herself. I was halfway through the meal before I asked what she meant by "made her own fertiliser." It was human shit; her own human shit. FML
Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
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Top comments
ThatGuyWhoTalks 10
It's ok OP. You obviously have a brain or else you wouldn't have been able to post this.
mollyjynxjax 28
The word she was looking for was pescatarian (the term for someone who eats fish meat but not any other kind of meat). So she was stupid to be arrogant in the first place, and doubly so for getting the term wrong.
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Comments (250)
dreadbeat69 12
Oh man... she's one of THOSE people... sucks to be you, OP.
Omniprism 14
I hate it when people call themselves vegetarians but still eat meat. Tell her a vegetarian doesn't eat something that was once alive. Pull up the dictionary reference.
Coeliacchic93 21
plants were alive and most are still alive up to 3 weeks after being harvested
ItalianRaz13 13
some vegetarians eat fish its vegans that dont eat any animal parts including fish. dipshit.
Mifflicious 18
That's just a lazy version of vegetarian when some people want to seem better. It's VEGEtarian, what part of fish ( or chicken ) is made out of vegetables?
marramrammar 2
Vegetarian vs Vegan. Some vegetarian will each poultry or fish!
EffyFails 18
pescatarianism is vegetarian but also eats meat so would technically say she's suiting to that (:
Phanny141 5
I'm just going to throw this out there for debate, but from a karmic standpoint the shrimp pasta is probably worse than a steak, because one cow will feed dozens of people, while it might take a dozen shrimp to make one plate of pasta...
syed121417 22
Obviously if he asked why she got shrimp and she said vegetarians could eat shrimp, you can guess she's vegetarian.
BrownSuspenders 4
dump the bitch!
Sandman366 6
96-Vegans: no animal products. Vegetarian: no meat. The problem comes in when someone debates if certain seafoods are meat or not.
nevereyes 31
Wow, shrimp is a meat and thus a vegetarian no no. Though really she should be eating meats. Not eating meat is bad for your health
DelphiCat 17
No, it's not.
DelphiCat 17
Nope, sorry. You can say people are "meant" to eat meat, but you can't seriously claim there aren't moral questions about the way meat is mass produced these days, and the fact that vast swathes of people eat animals without thinking, some without even knowing, where it has come from - not to mention the human diet has basically never been as meat-centric as it is now. Then on the subject of "meant" to eat meat, humans have the worst omnivorous dentition in the animal kingdom. Flat molars and pre-molars are much better at grinding plants than slicing flesh. Pigs have the teeth of someone "meant" to eat meat with frequency - sharp premolars incredibly similar to those of carnivores. We have the teeth of someone who can do it, but can also do anything else, so cannot claim to be "meant" to eat anything.