Rochelle
United States
Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
moonlight77
Today, I deliberately snapped a pic of myself and edited it to add to my story, in order to make my ex think I have a life on a Saturday night. FML
Bonapp
France
Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML
sarah
United States
Today, I was at the Apple Store taking random pictures of myself. I took one with a really stupid face. This girl passes by and says, "Wow, that's a cool effect! You look just like an alien!" I wasn't using any effects. It was a regular picture. FML
TEETH
Granny Smith
Today, in an attempt to eat healthier snacks, I took an apple to work. I ate it after lunch. Now my teeth are full of bits of apple and I can't focus on my work because it's distracting. Three hours until I can get home and floss. FML
Nose bleed
North Vancouver, Canada
Fight Club
Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my dad has discovered selfies and my mom has discovered taking pictures of food. Now I'm at a restaurant, suffering through it all and not being able to eat anything until my mom has taken pictures of it. FML
Cinnanyan
Quezon City, Philippines
Got away with it, surely?
Today, due to me not looking, I accidentally bit an apple made of styrofoam that was meant to be a part of a display on the kitchen table. My roommates were there and me not wanting to embarrass myself by putting it back, I walked out, apple in hand, to throw it away elsewhere. FML
Lifeless
United States
Today, I put on makeup for a picture. My Facebook profile picture. That's how much of a life I actually have. FML
sunshine19217
United States
Today, I took the time to make myself look nice just so that the pizza guy would think I had a life. FML
a_B_c_D_e_F_g
United States
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML
Top comments
ScaughtieHolden 11
You're supposed to use a banana.
ebonyirony 29
Ohhh yeah. Red....delicious.
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Comments (137)
davymac718 4
Are you trying to look like a pig?
JazzyByProxy 14
In case we didn't get it the first time..
Googoo27 12
12, you can't deny it..,
ebonyirony 29
Oh good it isn't just me who posted multiple times.
hockeyoceancity 13
You posted four times. The other people who posted more then once were just a glitch that postit twice. You made four different comments so... No was mostly just you who did it.
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
Twihard. That is all.
rsunshine2020 13
Trying to make a boring apple more interesting to eat? Kudos to you OP
dumbledoobie 0
How did this even make the cut?
KitGrey 4
Are you Eve or Snow White?
torbey 23
that poor apple was probably thinking the same thing.
perdix 31
Set up a **** site where you charge dirty old men to look at your sexy photos while they **********. Now, there's a worthwhile life mission. Send me free photos for my professional opinion, of course, and have you considered branching out to other fruits or interfacing apples with other orifices?
Trisha_aus 15
Cherry is a popular one or was it a banana..
uberdubers 3
Noor got thumbed down D: I would never do that to you, Noor. c: