Love: Today, I told my younger brother that I'm a lesbian. Now he keeps...

By Sarah - 09/04/2015 20:24 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I told my younger brother that I'm a lesbian. Now he keeps asking me if I want to play rock, paper, vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 008

You deserved it 5 461

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Same thing different taste

By Wenny - 18/01/2009 12:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 398

You deserved it 2 973

Thanks for the input

By NVP - 18/01/2009 14:30 - United States

Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 478

You deserved it 3 815

About that...

By Gay younger brother - 30/06/2018 01:30

Today, my brother came out to our parents. They weren't super happy with it, but they said that it was ok since they still had a straight son. I don't know how to tell them that I'm gay too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 609

You deserved it 507

By Evaki1 - 13/06/2011 14:24 - Greece

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 673

You deserved it 4 581

By Anonymous - 14/06/2014 06:42 - Canada - Regina

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 509

You deserved it 7 051

Supportive

By bopbop - 20/05/2009 01:21 - United States

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because she "wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 070

You deserved it 4 369

Assumptions…

By Singlelady - 21/09/2016 19:16 - United Kingdom - Stoke-on-trent

Today, my sister gently asked me if I was gay. Turns out I've been without a boyfriend for so long that the whole family believes I secretly have a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 854

You deserved it 1 163

By Anonymous - 02/01/2014 09:50 - United States - Southerly North Slope Bo

Today, I tried proving to my best friend that I wasn't a lesbian by telling her I once liked her brother. She was mad because I never told her and now she's calling him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 089

You deserved it 6 343

Mixed signals

By max - 07/02/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, I thought I was going on a date. About 20 minutes into it, after giving her my arm to hold (like a true gentleman) it came up in conversation that my brother is gay. Her response: "Oh, so both you and your brother are gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 424

You deserved it 2 961

By lonleystoner91 - 03/09/2010 08:30 - France

Today, my girlfriend of 2 months decided to wrestle with my younger brother. He has gotten more action than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 039

You deserved it 7 640

luarasticks 13

Friday 10 April 2015 10:38

technically, the joke would still work with the classic rock, paper, scissors.

gracehi 31

Friday 10 April 2015 10:22

That sucks, although I'm guessing you don't.

Comments

SweetSoyMilk 6

Friday 10 April 2015 23:48

So. Did you play?

shemademedoit 20

Saturday 11 April 2015 4:28

when he's older .....she will never let you meet his girlfriend

capnbzarr 43

Saturday 11 April 2015 5:17

Kick him square in the rocks.

doesntlookIrish 9

Saturday 11 April 2015 5:19

Bros got no chill. Sorry about that. Pray that he matures.... If he doesnt just get use to it. It will get better.

NutellaBear 3

Saturday 11 April 2015 8:12

You have a cool little brother!

fml_user_314 6

Sunday 12 April 2015 4:53

scissors would still work in this situation...

KB503 15

Sunday 12 April 2015 6:23

Haha this is great

AphyTheBronette 15

Sunday 12 April 2015 8:30

Brings new meaning to scissoring ?

MrCantgetright 4

Sunday 12 April 2015 14:42

Should be "Rock, Paper, Fighting Scissors"

maddicraig66 5

Thursday 16 April 2015 4:55

Wouldn't Rock Paper Scissors still work since scissoring is how ya do it ??

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Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 142

You deserved it 11 901

Today, I told my man that, in order to get me ready for sex within a minute whenever he wants, he only needs to relearn how to go down on me, which he used to do splendidly but has somehow forgotten. He apparently considers this too much effort and will rather keep groping me unsuccessfully. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 107

The Top

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 876

You deserved it 4 552

Today, I had to call my mom and tell her about the insurance claim that is going to be coming through in the next couple of weeks. I spent the night in the hospital. I'm allergic to lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 323

You deserved it 7 801

Today, marks the seventh day of having my nose pierced. I'd done everything I was supposed to do, even sleeping with a band-aid over it. This morning, I woke up to my piercing being ripped out by my pillow, and the band-aid nowhere in sight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 776

You deserved it 14 399

Today, I had a rare phone call from my ex-girlfriend. We ended up talking for hours about old times. It was the best conversation we have had in forever, it made me miss her and miss us. Later on in the day, she called back asking what we talked about. She was too high too remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 913

You deserved it 4 014

Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 336

You deserved it 21 817

Today, at school, I was crying because someone I knew had died. My teacher pulled me aside and said, "I understand you're socially awkward, but don't worry it gets better." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 435

You deserved it 2 997