Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
Today, my son had a screaming meltdown because I told him to clean his own room and that I refuse to be treated like his personal maid. He’s 16. FML
Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML
Today, I cleaned my 21 year-old son's bedroom from top to bottom. When he got home from work all he could do was complain that the clothes that were on his "floordrobe"’ were "only worn once." This was my only day off, so why do I bother? FML
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML
Today, my wife asked our 17 year-old son to clean his room. Following up, he lied to his mom and said it was clean. After rechecking his room, he began to throw things and I returned to find holes punched in the walls. I went and patched the holes, after which he immediately kicked more holes. FML
Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML
Today, at age eighteen, I finished moving out of my parents' house and into my own. The only person to even remotely give a shit was my sister, and that was only because I was taking the cat with me. FML
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Top comments
stephanyk2 7
Your son sounds awesome.
luckylea24 7
You didn't give him a sock did you?
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Comments (353)
coolbrony12 3
Then Dobby gets stabbed.
Pandacupcakelove 26
What did you do to spike!? D:
mgates27 3
Nothing a for rent ad and sign won't fix
lonelyharts86 8
Lol I don't know how to vote on this story it's just fantastic.
pandalover69 26
Your son is awesome, that's something I would say to my parents and I'm 22 and live on my own. Also is he single?
anime_niac 4
Lol, ur son sound fricken awesome
Skymone 6
Your son is awesome! You should've said Dobby is dead, though. :D
MuggleBornSquib 4
I LOVE YOUR SON.
nerdsgetmehot 23
I know it's frustrating, but you're not the one who has to live in his room. If he doesn't want to deal with it, don't make him. When he moves out and has his own place, he'll probably still be messy. As long as he isn't leaving messes anywhere else, just leave him be and let him live in his own filth. :P Maybe he'll eventually get tired of it and clean it of his own accord. That's how I was when I lived with my mom. If she bugged me to clean my room, I wouldn't. When I got tired of having clothes on the floor and etc., I took care of it myself without being prompted. He gets points for referencing Harry Potter though.
nerdsgetmehot 23
Hmm. Not sure why I got so many downvotes, but okay.
kalbrek009 20
282, you got so many thumbs down because your opinion/advice only applied to you & was not only irrelevant, & illogical...it was downright wrong, bad, immature & nonsense (with regards to the rest of the population)...you'll understand when you're 40'ish & have a child 7 times worse than you were...lol...no, really!
Chrispayne 4
This needs a FAP button. Failed as parent.
THE_A_TEEN 28
I think people would get the wrong idea about a "FAP" button. In case you didn't know alreaey, FAP equals masturbation.
TurdFurgeson04 3
I find nothing wrong with that?