Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was introduced to a YouTube musician called S3RL. I was listening to a playlist of his music all day. Then of course when I went to pick up my girlfriend, some song came on that was just exaggerated sex moans pitched into music. She stared at me then burst out laughing and called me a pervert. FML
Today, my fiancée told me she was having a bad day while we were lying in bed. Just as she was about to fall asleep I thought it would be sweet if I sang her a song that her Mom sang to her when she was a child. Instead, I was told to shut the fuck up and that I sucked. FML
Today, I just learned that the silly song my parents taught me as a small child, and would sometimes make me sing for the family, is actually a very thinly veiled series of penis jokes. Why just now? Because I hadn't thought about it for years, until my grandma brought it up at a reunion. FML
Today, I sang a romantic song I wrote for my girlfriend. She laughed at my soprano. FML
Today, whilst at work, my dad decided to call me and sing an entire rendition of 'The Gambler' by Kenny Rogers. There was a big line of people, and my boss had been standing nearby checking out my phone. I had to stand there and listen to the whole song. FML
Today, after pulling up to my girlfriend's house for dinner with her parents, one of my favorite songs begin to play on the radio. After my 3 minutes of air drumming, I look up to see my girlfriend and her parents bouncing with laughter. FML
Today, I attended a musical. A new song was played, and I thought I'd heard it before because it sounded strangely familiar. I sang along quietly as the song progressed, positive I knew it. Anticipating the next chorus, I belted out the lyrics with all my heart. It was instrumental. FML
Today, after spending weeks working on a song that meant a lot to me, I reluctantly posted it online. The "friend" who'd convinced me to post it, commented, "This is the worst shit I've ever heard." He got 30 likes, along with a barrage of agreeing, equally terrible comments. FML
Today, I was once again woken up to my dad blasting The Beatles' song "Birthday." He does this whenever it's anyone's birthday (in this case, my mom's) and he knows a lot of people. It was funny at first, but now it's getting old very quickly. FML
Today, my mate came over wanting me to listen to a new music CD he got. It was by some unknown band, and at the end he asked me what I thought, and I said it was ok but the lead singer couldn't sing even if his life depended on it. Turns out my mate's the lead singer, and it was his own band. FML
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Top comments
WellHelloThere47 19
and THAT ladies and gentlemen is why we ALWAYS screen what we show our parents first!
nana_star 27
I don't know about your parents but mine would appreciate a song about an enormous penis because they don't have enormous sticks up their asses.
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Comments (81)
WellHelloThere47 19
and THAT ladies and gentlemen is why we ALWAYS screen what we show our parents first!
nana_star 27
I don't know about your parents but mine would appreciate a song about an enormous penis because they don't have enormous sticks up their asses.
The_weird_one_2 13
Your picture is perfection
nana_star 27
I know right
jaspinkgrl01 18
I have accepted you as my lord and savior for your profile picture •0•
nana_star 27
Bow down. I am your new God.
Dean__Winchester 16
I saw your pic and immediately started laughing. Not of who's in it but the role -High fives!-
silverstream20 20
Perhaps, "penis enlargement" was exactly the kind of uplifting the OP wanted. It might have even helped his parents.
Tarlachia 33
So basically, the song is compensating for his lack of size, to go with his oversized truck on monster tires?
Meaniebobeanie 26
Was Bill Gates compensating for his small dick with his giant mansion? I know plenty of people with large dicks who brag about it all the time (Yes I have seen them. No I'm not gay.). It's annoying but just because people brag or have a big truck doesn't mean that they're lying or have a small dick.
jay_ladybug 19
#50 how do you know that Bill Gates wasn't compensating for his "size" by purchasing his mansion?
bearstyle22 11
so did your mom like the song?
jazzy_123 20
why does everyone do this on an fml? it's like the easiest, most guaranteed-to-get-likes comment ever.
Dave_Davington 35
I think you just answered your own question there, #10.
jazzy_123 20
I guess I did lol oh well
bearstyle22 11
I really wanna know haha. If op decides to do a follow up and answer me koo
Benmantha 31
That's why you should ALWAYS check the things you're forwarding to any family member. Or coworker. Or anybody actually.
imapartypooper 15
Someone is a little egotistical.
southerngalslove 15
egotestical?
meli1195 31
I think #8 is trying out the new big word he just learned, even though it has nothing to do with the FML
imapartypooper 15
So you think that someone singing about his own "enormous penis" isn't a little self-centered? Oh and by the way, when I write I actually use longer words instead of ones I learned in 3rd grade. I'm sorry if you cannot manage using a big word like egotistical.
jazzy_123 20
who knows, maybe songs about enormous penisses will actually brighten up her day lol
Sandsh8rk 36
and the feeling's like a sun shining daaaaaaay!
Sandsh8rk 36
I believe the song in question is Enormous Penis by Da Vinci's Notebook. You should all give it a listen.
awkaf 9
I think so too, but wouldn't they have known that it was about a giant penis if the name has enormous penis in it?....
NeatNit 33
wasn't there a song by Weird Al about an enormous penis, too? *googles*
NeatNit 33
So yeah, I was wrong. It is by Da Vinci's Notebook; I wrongly thought it was Weird Al. Catchy song!