Today, I told my mom I was 3 months pregnant, expecting her to be happy. Instead, she screamed that I was no longer her daughter and she never wanted to see me again before throwing me out of her house, because I got pregnant out of wedlock. Nice math mom. I've been married for 5 months. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Lost cause
Today, I went to my parents' house after escaping my abusive relationship. My mom scoffed and said, “This is what happens when you move out, barely graduated high school, with a bum.” When I told her I was 3 months pregnant, she said, “And a child out of wedlock? You’re a lost case!” and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML
How could you?
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks found out she was 2 months pregnant with her ex's baby. I of course broke up with her because I don’t need exes drama or babies in my life. My mother called me an atrocious human being for not staying with her after only three weeks to raise another dude's kid. FML
Today, I called my mom to tell her that I'm coming over for a visit. She answered: 'Why? What do you need? Food? Money? I'm not going to help you! You're a grown woman!' And she hung up. I just found out that I'm pregnant and she was the first person I wanted to share it with. FML
No! Noooo!
Today, I told my parents I was pregnant. They yelled at me until I started crying. I'm 31, married, and I have a good paying job. FML
Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML
My little girl
Today, I told my parents I'm pregnant. I got a long lecture from my mom about using protection. It would have been fine hearing all that, but I'm turning 22, I moved out a few years ago, have a full time job with great benefits, and am getting married next summer. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mother found out that I'm three months pregnant. She told my boyfriend to put it up for adoption, and now wants a paternity test. FML
Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML
Double whammy
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML
Top comments
ReyEr9412 0
Was she in a coma?
MiniJenny_fml 0
Wow! Did she miss the wedding?
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Comments (204)
Allie26 0
wow 2monthes married and you're pregnant. i'd be mad too
grimpow_fml 0
more like 5, dumbass
DGross 8
yea... 5-3 means she got pregnant after being married 2 months O.o
Cinn_fml 23
@Allie26 - The fact isn't that she's only a short way into her marriage and her mum's mad, it's that her mum thinks she's pregnant before she got married. There's nothing wrong with being pregnant only a short way into a marriage, unless it was an impluse wedding in which case you have a fair point. OP - that sucks, hope you pointed out when you were married and everything, that way your mum might come round when she realises her mistake - and make sure she apologises. If that doesn't work, then you probably don't want her around you kid. Congrats on that too btw. :)
st0815 9
Allie26 you would be mad why? How the hell is it the mom's business when her daughter decides to try for a child? If you can't handle your children growing into adults and leading their own lives, then do us all a favor and don't attempt to raise children.
DreamerofWorlds 0
Maybe on your way to your mom's house you inadvertantly passed through a time portal to when you'd only been married for two months. But seriously, your mom sucks. FYL
Emmmmm55 0
wow lol
quikwit1212 0
You're a ******* moron.
canzo378 0
good! this is the chance for you to say goodbye to a freak mom and live with sane people around you!!
iAndrea 0
Wait. I'm kinda confused...she's kicking you out, but you've been married for 5 months? Why don't you live with your husband instead of your mother? Haha.
hanfan79 0
I think the OP meant that her mom yelled at her and then made her leave the house, not that she told her she couldn't live there anymore. I'm pretty sure the OP doesn't live with her mom.
Chelser 0
she was probably visiting...
iAndrea 0
Ooh, got it! Haha. Slow me. :]
pgcheerleader 1
wow thts a psyco mamma!!!!
ryampolsky 0
she is on crack
Oreogasm 5
wow your mom probably never made it out of elementary school. hope u aren't as dumb as she is
HamsteronA 0
hehe love the name
saranottelling 7
love the picture. long live Fonzie.
x_HELLo_tHERE_x 0
Love the name/pic combo.
mcl123_fml 0
wow. what a bitch.