Today, I told my husband that I was going to get a swimsuit from the Victoria's Secret catalog. He replied, "Are you going to get the body to go with it?" FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend and I were in Victoria's Secret. I saw a picture of a model and said, "I wish I looked like that." He replied with, "Me too." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought a bikini he wanted me to wear in our hot tub. Unfortunately, I ran out of swimsuits for my daily swim at the public pool, so I took the new bikini. Now I know why he wanted to be alone when I wore it, as water turns it see-through and melts the stitching so it falls off. FML
Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML
Today, my daughter asked me to take her to Victoria's Secret so I could buy her some "sexy clothes". She's 9. FML
Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking up sexy clothes for me to wear while role-playing. I saw something I liked and asked him if we should get it. When he saw the model wearing it in the picture, he asked "Does it come with the girl?" FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, my girlfriend texted me a screenshot of a bathing suit on a store’s website and asked for my opinion. I told her it wouldn’t look good. She then texted me a screenshot of me liking a picture of a friend on Facebook, wearing that same bathing suit, saying, “But on her it looks fine, right?” Fuck. FML
Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML
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Top comments
theonlysweetpea 10
Tell him that once he starts lookin like a pro athlete, you'll get that figure but until then go change a lightbulb!
ZombieeeeUnicorn 1
what a douche.
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Comments (243)
life_lol 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha good one dad
SugaryTears 0
tell him "well, when I get my suit, are you going to get a better dick for *******?"
big_cat 0
lMAO
jd6200 0
He is all yours. :)
jadejazmyn 5
That was the rudest thing he could possiibly say
MissRoxiie 12
tell him that while your gonna go to the gym hes gonna have to make dinner, do the laundry, clean the house, and all the chores, he aint gonna find that funny
zoeulani 0
ahhh nice you have a keeper on your hands my friend...FYmarrigeL
allthatremains25 0
wow your husband is mean! next time he goes out to buy tools ask him if he's sure he's man enough for them.
Thrasher91 0
buuuurn...
BigOrca 2
I'm sorry OP that made me laugh hard.