Today, I told my husband that I was going to get a swimsuit from the Victoria's Secret catalog. He replied, "Are you going to get the body to go with it?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were in Victoria's Secret. I saw a picture of a model and said, "I wish I looked like that." He replied with, "Me too." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought a bikini he wanted me to wear in our hot tub. Unfortunately, I ran out of swimsuits for my daily swim at the public pool, so I took the new bikini. Now I know why he wanted to be alone when I wore it, as water turns it see-through and melts the stitching so it falls off. FML
Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML
Today, my daughter asked me to take her to Victoria's Secret so I could buy her some "sexy clothes". She's 9. FML
Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking up sexy clothes for me to wear while role-playing. I saw something I liked and asked him if we should get it. When he saw the model wearing it in the picture, he asked "Does it come with the girl?" FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, my girlfriend texted me a screenshot of a bathing suit on a store’s website and asked for my opinion. I told her it wouldn’t look good. She then texted me a screenshot of me liking a picture of a friend on Facebook, wearing that same bathing suit, saying, “But on her it looks fine, right?” Fuck. FML
Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML
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Top comments
theonlysweetpea 10
Tell him that once he starts lookin like a pro athlete, you'll get that figure but until then go change a lightbulb!
ZombieeeeUnicorn 1
what a douche.
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Comments (243)
perdix 31
"If you want, I can add $10,000 to get the corpse of a swimsuit model with my order."
lendalynn 5
wtf...
vistamar 3
yeah Perdix wtf?
eternalibra 14
I love you perdix
smurfsarwales 9
I thought you were funny and beady petdix... ;(
puertoricanmafia 0
you should of said : yeah i am , you want one too?!? xD
beklyon 7
Should HAVE*
sematariux 7
omg grammar nazi is you mad when I tlk like dis? stfu
knocking 0
Geez, what an insensitive jerk! If he didn't think you would look good it in, there are much nicer ways to say it. And I'm sure there are thousands of good comebacks you can come up with yourself or suggested to you by the other members of FML, so I won't bother. I would suggest however that it be about his dick and/or hair. Those two things seem to be what guys are most sensitive about.
dyno254 0
shut up y would a guy wanna be wit a over wieght woman. like we do so much u cant get ur ass on a diet. unless she has a disorder
brookig 10
FYL for being a dick and not knowing how to talk or spell.
knocking 0
Why would a woman want to be with a guy who has an IQ of 12? Besides, the OP might not be fat at all. Most women don't have the body of a Victorias Secret model, even if they are thin.
bingababe 16
I think we can all safely assume that 46 is single.
bingababe 16
49* dammit! Sorry whoever 46 is... Unless of course you made a douche bag comment like 49, in which case I'm not sorry at all!!
ReynshineCutting 10
Well 49 there's this whole other thing called a personality, but clearly you don't have one so you have no idea what I'm talking about. Moron.
cumverg 0
He was obviously joking. Taking a joke too far does not make you an insensitive douche.
a_nutritionist 10
@21 id suggest if you want to offend someone you say something true. intelligent men couldnt care less about comments about the size of their penis if they know it isnt small. its the equivalent of telling a woman with DD's that shes flat chested, she would probably just give you an odd look and tell her friends about some idiot making a fool of themselves. that said, i dont think its deserved. it was clearly a joke.
Yarrachel 16
@110: Except for the fact that it definitely does? A joke is one thing, but taking a joke too far to cause hurt feelings isn't right, and does make you insensitive. How would you feel if someone jumped out at you and punched you in the face. Is that okay because it's "just a joke."
kamiicult 0
I'm going to guess 49 doesn't contribute to society much...
dyno254 0
no i treat wemon very well. and i can spell dick maybee i have typos. but any ways i respect wemon
bingababe 16
Both of your comments speak volumes about both your spelling and respect for *women.
TalkinSmack 6
well? are u getting the body too?
cbz88 0
haha what a call sucks to be u
kerkenao000 0
That's jerk .
jewbanker 0
ha **** bitches get money
lendalynn 5
that was harsh...geez who crapped in his cornflakes
swittig 0
lol I've never heard that one before, giggity
dreamering 16
Tell him: "Nope, but my **** will be stared by everyone".
tnlander 20
Some people have bodies built for Victoria's Secret and others have bodies built for Walmart.
knocking 0
They sell bikinis at both places. I must admit though, the ones at VS are very cute.
T1A2Z3 35
And most people have bodies not designed for any specific brand and wear whatever the hell they like.