Kids: Today, I found out my 10 year old step-brother has an obsession...

By NikkiiFireStarter - 20/10/2009 10:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my 10 year old step-brother has an obsession with fire, after he burnt all the belongings in my room, including an £600 guitar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 034

You deserved it 2 913

Kids

Mother of the year

Mama's boy

Tock follow tick follows tock…

By jayden5 - 15/05/2009 18:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting next to this really cute guy in choir class. Trying to make conversation, I asked him what his favorite song was. He replied "Leave Me Alone". I asked him who it was by and he said, "It's not a song, I just want you to leave me alone". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 278

You deserved it 9 216

By sleepysophie - 19/10/2013 15:04 - United States - Helena

Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 537

You deserved it 5 545

By Anonymous - 30/03/2015 05:56 - United States - Sacramento

Today, a teenage girl with a selfie stick came into my workplace. She knocked down multiple displays while trying to take pictures, before leaving without making a purchase. I had to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 118

You deserved it 2 462

By Just Me - 26/07/2012 05:04 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I came out to my mom as a lesbian. She told me that it was impossible, because since she isn't one, she therefore couldn't have given birth to one. She still won't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 542

You deserved it 4 053

By ruvru - 10/04/2009 17:13 - United States

Today, while lying next to me, my boyfriend smiled and told me, "I really like your eyes. They're pretty." He paused and then finished with, "They really help your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 617

You deserved it 4 109

By pissed out pants - 18/01/2015 21:58 - United Kingdom

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 888

You deserved it 3 891

By Anonymous - 30/10/2015 13:27 - United Kingdom - Tranent

Today, I was invited to my friend's wedding. I wouldn't mind, but she chose her now fiancé over me, despite him being in prison for assault, a heroin addict and a general dick. This was all because I accidentally called her stupid three years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 610

You deserved it 3 655

Underestimated overachiever

By Anonymous - 27/03/2020 20:00

Today, I told my cousin I was admitted to a top MBA program. He asked if it was an online-only certificate program. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 209

You deserved it 176

By Anonymous - 30/03/2012 14:35 - United Kingdom

Today, while playing badminton, I was so distracted by my ex winking at me that I didn't notice the shuttlecock that hit me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 689

You deserved it 21 368

By johnboy - 09/11/2010 17:08 - United States

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 813

You deserved it 37 015

Panic! At the Costco

By abutorac951 - 16/03/2020 16:48

Today, I had to drive over an hour away to buy toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 631

You deserved it 150

By Neutered - 27/11/2012 19:52 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 078

You deserved it 6 708

By Anonymous - 12/09/2012 21:06 - United States

Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 401

You deserved it 4 318

By AllThatJazz - 15/04/2009 20:06 - United States

Today, I was stage managing a school show. Some kids were goofing off backstage, so I yelled at them that they could hurt themselves. While walking back to my chair, I tripped over my own feet and fell 5 feet off the stage. I shattered my cheekbone telling kids they would hurt themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 969

You deserved it 13 375

By Anonymous - 04/01/2013 22:52 - United States - Elgin

Today, my boyfriend showed up at my grandmother's wake in torn jeans and a Family Guy t-shirt. When I took him aside asked him what the hell he was thinking, he lost his temper and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 208

You deserved it 4 273

By fucked - 06/02/2015 08:06 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 998

You deserved it 40 414

By Roy Lawson - 26/06/2014 00:19 - United States - Brea

Today, I had to bite the bullet and finally buy maternity pants. Problem is, I'm not pregnant and I'm a 25-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 705

You deserved it 25 212

By redriver - 18/06/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, exactly 28 days after I started my last period, I started a new period. This would be perfectly healthy and normal except that my last period was 24 days long. This has happened every month this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 432

You deserved it 292

By Anonymous - 18/05/2015 16:58 - Australia

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 034

You deserved it 4 002

By "AdorableDoxie" - 17/12/2018 22:00

Today, I fell asleep in the school bus on the way back home when my loud fart woke me and a few other kids up. I am a teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 341

You deserved it 352

BDSM FML

By Anonymous - 11/04/2021 11:00 - Australia

Today, I realised I need to grow up when I couldn’t stop laughing throughout a very serious meeting entitled, “Master / Sub Remediation Program.” It’s about electricity meters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 652

By lucas - 12/12/2011 06:38 - United States

Today, I sat on the kitchen counter in my boxers for ten minutes running my feet under hot water. Why? Because my dad thought it would be funny to superglue my feet together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 540

You deserved it 3 163

By Anonymous - 03/06/2015 10:15 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 852

You deserved it 3 111

By Anonymous - 21/12/2013 07:08 - United States - Fairfield

Today, I came home after working on a difficult case. My husband wasn't home so I hopped into bed. My feet felt something and I reached down and picked it up out of the sheets. It was lacy black thongs. I don't own black thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 080

You deserved it 3 762

By sarskii - 16/08/2010 23:01 - United States

Today, my mother found out that I'm sexually active. She wants me to tell my father. I'm seventeen, and my father still has trouble grasping the fact that I carry a purse, because it means I'm "growing up." This should be fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 836

You deserved it 19 481

Thanks mom, you're the best

By prego - 30/04/2009 02:03 - United States

Today, I called my mom into my room to ask her to bring me something. She referred to me as a "lazy fat slug." I'm 38 weeks pregnant and was put on emergency bedrest by my doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 741

You deserved it 4 869

By Mikey832 - 09/08/2010 13:24 - United Kingdom

Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 802

You deserved it 14 766

Can't win

By Anonymous - 18/03/2021 03:00 - Philippines - Manila

Today, my mom told me to stop using my phone and talk to them, but whenever I do that, they just end up yelling at me and telling me to go to my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 100

By Anonymous - 18/06/2009 13:05 - United States

Today, I was installing the official 3.0 firmware update for my iPhone. Apple's authentication servers crashed. I now own an iBrick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 067

You deserved it 8 979

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 04:00

Today, my boyfriend came over. We'd planned on losing out virginities today. What we didn't plan on was having my 9-year-old brother and his friends making a video of "What teens do when no one is home." They taped the whole thing, including the five minutes it took us to get the condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 767

You deserved it 860

By Meg - 17/10/2018 15:30

Today, we moved 2,700 miles across the U.S. to better our lives, with job offers and home options lined up. All of them were given to other people or turned out to be scams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 016

You deserved it 556

By Anonymous - 25/07/2019 06:01

Today, after 6 months abroad, I finally got home to the airport at 5 a.m. where my parents were supposed to be picking me up. I called my mother to let her know I'd landed. She picked up with a sleepy voice and asked, "Who is this?" I'm an only child and we live 2 hours away from the airport. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 536

You deserved it 136

By lizzy1843 - 26/01/2011 14:48 - United States

Today, my cat pissed in my zen garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 912

You deserved it 23 809

By Tori Pearson - 27/06/2011 04:21 - Canada

Today, I went camping. My tent is flooded, a raccoon ate all my food, I lost the anchor to my boat which as a result is now across the lake. Three more days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 663

You deserved it 6 869

Thanks, mom

By Anonymous - 24/10/2020 11:03 - United States - Kenton

Today, my mom saw me holding a plant and told me to walk around with it, to replace all of the oxygen I waste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 189

Holy shit

By embarrassed - 04/01/2016 17:58 - United States - Garden Grove

Today, I was in church. During the prayer, I moved my foot and it pressed against the automatic button on my umbrella causing it to suddenly open. As if that wasn't bad enough, I screamed simultaneously at the shock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 967

You deserved it 3 369

By Anonymous - 12/12/2010 08:04 - Canada

Today, I was in a dating auction. I was bought for $2. The man who won a date with me recited every dialog from the movie The Lord of the Rings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 573

You deserved it 8 321

9 to 5, what a way to not make a living

By Anonymous - 28/08/2021 18:01 - Canada - Burlington

Today, I excitedly went to check this week's paycheck, only to see that I only received $9.00. This isn't a mistake, this is really what I make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 146

By Babyhazy - 05/06/2016 21:52 - Australia - South Yarra

Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2-month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk when they make a noise. My fridge stated beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, 'It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 300

You deserved it 1 422

By help me - 16/03/2016 01:05 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I have watched the Elmo's World episode featuring balls ten times in a row. The toddler I'm watching screams if I put on something different. His mom just said she was stuck in traffic. She should be back in about five and a half more replays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 694

You deserved it 1 447

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Sage1314 4

Send a private message

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:08

He burnt *all* the belongings in your room? Question is, how did a 10 year old have free reign to burn that much stuff without anyone from the family being around to stop him, or without setting off a smoke alarm or anything?

kaiserwihelm 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:28

Wow dude I would beat the shit out of that kid burning a fuckin expensive guitar stupid little shit

dahlia_springs 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:05

fake

ruben7467 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 21 October 2009 1:27

im with you fake, WE need a pic!

AnaMaree 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 21 October 2009 3:13

This comment has been moderated.

metawarr556 3

Send a private message

Wednesday 21 October 2009 15:03

That may be the funniest comment I've read in a while.

ironwords 8

Send a private message

Tuesday 15 March 2011 22:26

should of threw his stuff in a lake and said " I'm an aquamanic"

Sage1314 4

Send a private message

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:08

BurnDammit 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:14

Erm... SOme people don't have fire alarms,and they might have left him at home while they went to the store or he was upstairs and they were downstairs.

Otium_fml 3

Send a private message

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:17

Maybe he was outside setting fire on all the stuff?

Sage1314 4

Send a private message

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:39

So this kid is outside setting fire to all this stuff, takes hours carting it all outside, setting fire to it, and no one, not the parents, the babysitter whoever, no one noticed?

Otium_fml 3

Send a private message

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:44

Who knows, I'm just guessing here. Prehaps his parents were out and thought that he'll make it on his own at home. Neighbours might be somewhere else or just be all "Meh, whatever" to it.

Nikkii_TURISAS 0

Send a private message

Friday 23 October 2009 11:52

listen douche, theres a thing called not being in the house at the time. idiot

NavySEAL13 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 22 June 2011 7:38

that means it's time to beat some fucking ass if my brother did that to me as a kid I would fuck him up. sorry for the language ladies.

LoveDemon 19

Send a private message

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:10

good thing u found it out when he's just 10 yrs old ...

ZleveL 0

Send a private message

Monday 28 June 2010 8:55

I smell a pyromaniac!

starberries 0

Send a private message

Thursday 4 November 2010 16:34

That's what "obsessed with fire" means. Thanks for pointing it out!

SueSylvester_fan 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:10

Ass kicking time!

Ellowise_fml 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:23

He's 10 and he did that without damaging the rest of your home?? I would congratulate him or thank him he didn't burn the house down ;)

Carlie_McCartney 1

Send a private message

Sunday 10 October 2010 2:10

yeah, I'm still trying to figure this out...smart kid!!

nicktowery 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:23

so, burn him.

Intoxicunt 5

Send a private message

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:26

Agreed. I would've suggested the microwave, but only babies fit in there.

1m_b0r3d 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:33

well theres always the oven :P

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Send a private message

Tuesday 20 October 2009 17:35

Tasteless Joke time! Q - What do you get when you cook a baby in a microwave? A - An erection.

joyfulflower 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 20 October 2009 23:22

Epic Win!

Intoxicunt 5

Send a private message

Tuesday 20 October 2009 23:26

Yes! XD I love the joke.

spurs21208 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 22 December 2010 7:24

haha I'm obsessed with fire also oh and I have been lit on fire it is not fun

Gen_Knowledge 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:25

A flame thrower would be a good present for Christmas.

kaiserwihelm 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:28

Wow dude I would beat the shit out of that kid burning a fuckin expensive guitar stupid little shit

AntiChrist7 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:28

Or you are talking about your living room, in which case you shouldn't have kept a 600dollar object near a kid. Or you are talking about your bedroom, how did he get in without you noticing? YDI in both cases

timtam24 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:39

not many people are in their rooms 24/7

kukopia 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:48

He said "my room" which is universal to mean 'my bedroom'. What else could it mean?? The step-bro obviously has open access to his room, which is pretty universal. Until you find out he's a freak. OP can't be home all the time, much less in his room. Time for OP to buy a lock for the door. And still keep a close eye on the little pyro... he's only going to get worse... until he's bad enough to be taken away. No way, no how OP deserves this.