By Discouraged despite my effort - 15/12/2016 18:27

Today, I told my future MIL that we couldn't see her on Christmas because I have to work that day passing out gifts to elderly patients, but that I would call off work to travel to see her any day after. That isn't good enough, so she asked my fiance to spend Christmas without me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 8 239
You deserved it 823

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Your fiancé should have a talk with her because she clearly doesn't appreciate what you are trying to do.

dannidoll93 24

Thank you for giving up your Christmas to bring joy to others, and sorry your mother in law doesn't appreciate what you're doing. That said, can't your fiancé spend time with his mother until you finish work? Could you join them after your shift? Seems as though there are some work-arounds here (unless MIL is a long distance away in which case I agree she is being unfair)


Your fiancé should have a talk with her because she clearly doesn't appreciate what you are trying to do.

Goblin182 26

Well, it's her daughter. She wants to spend Christmas with her daughter.

dannidoll93 24

What made you decide that OP's fiancé was female? "Fiancé" traditionally is the male spelling (although many people use it for either gender nowadays)

what made you decide to reply to that comment.

Goblin182 26

There was some one standing beside me (gender is not important here) with a gun to my head and told me to my head and told me to post as if the fiancé was a female. Its her child, she wants to spend time with her child. Better?

MamaChey 24

Some people get off on pointing out others' mistakes in grammar or comprehension on this site...happens all the time. I just figure that they don't have anything more interesting to post.

She wants to spend time with her son. Probably is a tradition. Let your fiancé decide for himself

usnwife 18

Tradition or not, unless literally working ALL day, I would be very hurt if my fiance chose to travel to spend the day with his mom instead of me. The post made it sound like OP will still have time off, just not able to travel... I have had many holidays where we celebrated early or late, OP shouldn't have to be without the person she is about to marry. Unless previously discussed or I was working all day, there would be some serious discussions before moving on with the wedding if my fiance picked his mom over me...

neuronerd 28

It sounded like it was a day trip kind of travel. If OP will be busy all day, she would be leaving her fiance alone for most of the day as well. Why shouldn't her future mother in law and her fiancé get to spend the day together, instead of both of them being alone?

usnwife 18

Day trip, sure, but the way I read it, it sounded like more... I mean, it depends on their relationship and if it had been talked about in advance, etc, and Im not saying Id leave him or prevent him from seeing his mom or whatever, but if we're getting married I would expect him to not just up and go leaving me alone if I have a significant part of the day off because his mom didn't want to be alone. If he could go the whole time I was working and come home, or if I was only off a short time that'd be different. Like I said, depends on how far, how long Id work, and what previous arrangements/expectations were. There really isnt a ton of info in the post...

tantanpanda 26

Actually, there's a lot to go off of. OP said she couldn't visit that day but could any other day. This implies that OP cannot go at all on that day. If she just had a morning shift, there's always an afternoon trip, but since it's not possible, you could throw out this scenario. Sounds like OP has some sort of nursing job, which are usually 12 hour shifts anyway. OP should probably just let the fiance decide. If he decides to go, don't hold it against him for not wanting to spend the whole day alone. OP can always come to visit the day after and they can all spend time together, just not on Christmas. Mind you, this is basically what OP had asked the mother in law to do. This is a grey area topic and you can't just point fingers at the mother in law. There are inferences to draw from the fml, so you can't really say there's not enough info.

youdon'tknowme 9

Thank you for being a rational person on the Internet. If they are already living together and acting like spouses/partners, I might understand a bit more, but if not, then they don't have those formal ties yet. I can't imagine sitting home alone on Christmas away from my family while my fiance worked. Knowing my husband and myself, in that situation he would have gone on ahead, enjoyed timec with his family, I would have joined a soon as possible, and at that time ib could have opened my gifts and given others there. Maybe we would have all eaten somewhere special to make up for the Christmas meal I missed.

You are a wonderful person! Marry Christmas!

Wait, let me get this straight? Are you saying OP's fiance is Christmas? Now, that makes me very curious as to who OP's mother is.

I was completely distracted by OP being too lazy to type out mother-in-law.

usnwife 18

These posts do have a character limit...

But somehow you still figured out who OP was referring to.

A bit hypocritical to shit on someone for using an acronym when the term OP is an acronym, eh?

That sucks OP. Ah well. You don't need her negativity this Christmas anyway

It sounds like the plan was to work that day, so mom's just making sure fiance has some company.

Well your schedule isn't technically her fault. For some people it's important to celebrate Christmas ON Christmas Day, also why should your fiance stay when you're working anyway...?

Two things about working in healthcare: you will have to work holidays and not everyone else is going to understand or accept that. I miss all kinds of holiday functions but I don't expect everyone else to put their holiday on hold just because I have to work.