Vicious

By Anonymous - 29/06/2020 08:08

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years after finally realizing I'm a lesbian. He then outed me to my very religious and conservative family. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 765
You deserved it 877

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OP, I can see a little of both sides. After going with you for 5 years, his girlfriend breaks up because she’s finally discovered she’s a lesbian. Obviously he felt betrayed and possibly used. Outing you to your family was wrong, but people do things when they feel hurt and possibly betrayed. And from your side, you finally come to this realization about your sexuality and break up with your long time boyfriend who betrays you by outing you to your conservative family. Of course it’s not entirely him but your unaccepting family who are actually causing you the most grief. One way to look at this is the cat is out of the bag now with your family and you no longer have to dread the revelation - because it’s here now. OP life is usually long, give your parents a while to process this revelation. They may come around to acceptance. In the meanwhile try to find support where you can.

You just don't out someone against their wishes. OP didn't mean to deceive her boyfriend; she came to realization about her sexuality. What he did was horrible.

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OP, I can see a little of both sides. After going with you for 5 years, his girlfriend breaks up because she’s finally discovered she’s a lesbian. Obviously he felt betrayed and possibly used. Outing you to your family was wrong, but people do things when they feel hurt and possibly betrayed. And from your side, you finally come to this realization about your sexuality and break up with your long time boyfriend who betrays you by outing you to your conservative family. Of course it’s not entirely him but your unaccepting family who are actually causing you the most grief. One way to look at this is the cat is out of the bag now with your family and you no longer have to dread the revelation - because it’s here now. OP life is usually long, give your parents a while to process this revelation. They may come around to acceptance. In the meanwhile try to find support where you can.

You just don't out someone against their wishes. OP didn't mean to deceive her boyfriend; she came to realization about her sexuality. What he did was horrible.

OP is cold and heartless! You don't just wake up a Lesbian one day.

Not everyone knows right away what gender they like. Some are in denial, some don't realize until they meet someone of the same gender who they fall for. Some believe what they feel IS love until they feel the real thing. Some are attracted to the opposite gender in some way, but realize that they are more attracted to the same gender. Some are bi. sorry that not everyone knows their sexuality from birth, especially with very religious parents where that couldn't even be an option in their minds growing up.

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Ah, the fragile male ego...eat a bag of dicks

People do not decide to become gay or lesbians. They are born this way! If OP comes from a very conservative family, it probably took her a while to accept who she is and probably hoped until now that it was a temporary phase etc.

So your ex is a d-bag. Besides that, did your family throw you out and disown you? Prefacing them with “religious and conservative” implies that was what you want readers to expect, but are you giving them a bad wrap? I bet they took it ok.

He's pissed off that he turned you gay. It's going to be difficult when he has to tell the next girl how he wasted the past 5 years.

A person can turn gay about as much as you can sound intelligent; it just doesn't happen

It's doesn't look good for her either way. If she knew she was gay, it was cruel of her to jerk this guy around for five years. If five years with this guy made her realize she's gay, what does that say about him?

it kinda said she just realized... Takes some people longer than others to figure that out. It probably took finding the right female for her to even realize she was attracted to females. She probably felt content with him at the time thinking what she felt was in fact love and attraction... then she finds the real thing and rather than stay in a doomed relationship even longer or even worse, cheat, she broke it off. Honestly, she owes him nothing if she wants to break it off. If one of them isn't down for the relationship, it just doesn't work. Forcing a relationship just ends in resentment. You'd rather she stayed with him longer even after realizing she didn't love him? Even after realizing she didn't love his gender? That he was 100% wrong for her? Now, had she stayed and cheated on him, I'd be calling YDI...but she didn't mention cheating. she said she broke it off with him... He shouldn't have outed her. That's her responsibility, not his.

What a dirtbag... i hate people that find fulfillment in being bitter and ruining lives to make theirs better. Idk if it's your thing, but know that according to Dante the 8th and worst circle of hell is reserved for betrayers...

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I did the same with my bf of 4yr for the same reason and he outed me to my pastor father

You never tell them why, and now you know why... screw your family if they don't accept you...

Ok, so now your out. Now you can start working through this with them instead of hiding. He did you a favor really.

There is also another possibility : he outed you by mistake, either he didn’t know you hadn’t told everyone or he was so upset he didn’t watch his words. I did that once about a family member : everyone around me seemed to know, i grew up knowing and didn’t see a problem with it so during a dinner a few years ago I said something like « is my (female family’s member) girlfriend also alright with it? » (i would have asked the same for an hetero couple). Sadly i learned that she wasn’t « out » per se....... i felt soooooo bad about it. I phoned the person i dined with a few hours later, explaining my mistake and asking not to spread the information further. Seems like she said nothing so far. I don’t like this family member (because of her personality not because of her sexuality) but i still feel bad about that years later.