Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire two acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
Today, I mowed our lawn without being asked. My sister wouldn't stop yelling at me for not checking with her, because she wanted the grass to get long enough to "play jungle" in. My mom sided with her. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML
Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
Today, my dad yelled at me for being irresponsible while he watched me fold his laundry. FML
Today, I found out my dad gets my younger brother a Big Gulp from 7/11 every time he mows the yard. I mowed for three years straight and never got anything. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lifeislife_fml 0
Do it in spirals next time!
tarheel22893 0
For being ungrateful, you should punish him by mowing a giant penis into the yard,,, or if you want to be really mean,, you could make that original penis, label it "average", and then mow in a comparably small one and label it "Dad/his actual name" (by labeling, I mean you mow the words average and dad/his actual name below the respective penises) and then take a picture of both from the roof of your house and send them to all his know acquaintances (from an anonymous email address) and then mow the areas around them to hide your handiword
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (164)
TiffJ16 0
Kamikun616 - Thanks So much for taking the time to explain that to me, and thanks for being nice about it :) You are the BEST! :)
samiiibabyyy 0
FYL indeed. that really does suck.
clusterfungus 3
how the **** do you mow a lawn vertically? is there grass growing on the outside wall of your house? YDI for failing 3rd grade geometry, or for living in an MC Escher etching.
AsianTurtle 0
next time - go out into the field and use weed killer to make a giant penis on the field. he'll have to weed kill the rest of it or just leave it there for the next google earth helicopter :P
Link5794 18
Imagine the lawn on a piece of paper. These are vertical lines: |||||||||| These are horizontal lines: - - - - - -
walkmywaynot 0
YDI, every one knows that, that is how it works
SuperPineApple 0
Your dad is an ungrateful prick. I'd hate to live with him.
BMON3Y 0
Dick move by your dad
armystrong88 1
Try 12 acres
Tha_Rage 6
Your dad is a douchebag!
Haven246 7
After finally mowing my 6.5 acre lawn, I accidentally drove into a ditch. I called my dad and when he arrives he took one look at me and said " It looks better moved horizontally." FML