Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire two acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
Try to do a nice thing…
Today, I mowed our lawn without being asked. My sister wouldn't stop yelling at me for not checking with her, because she wanted the grass to get long enough to "play jungle" in. My mom sided with her. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML
Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML
Alexa, play "Your Daddy's Car" by The Divine Comedy
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
Today, my dad yelled at me for being irresponsible while he watched me fold his laundry. FML
Sibling rivalry
Today, I found out my dad gets my younger brother a Big Gulp from 7/11 every time he mows the yard. I mowed for three years straight and never got anything. FML
Top comments
lifeislife_fml 0
Do it in spirals next time!
tarheel22893 0
For being ungrateful, you should punish him by mowing a giant penis into the yard,,, or if you want to be really mean,, you could make that original penis, label it "average", and then mow in a comparably small one and label it "Dad/his actual name" (by labeling, I mean you mow the words average and dad/his actual name below the respective penises) and then take a picture of both from the roof of your house and send them to all his know acquaintances (from an anonymous email address) and then mow the areas around them to hide your handiword
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Comments (164)
suchacreep 0
My mother pulled this kind of crap when she got menopausal. I got yelled at for cleaning the house... It stopped after a while. Check your dad for ovaries.
skaap 0
That's a super idea! if my landlord ever gives me any grief, I think i'll do that before I move out :D
Slackness 10
Available for consultancy, cheap rates (*likely free if its this kind of stuff). Take care.
Ykk_fml 2
how can you cutting vertical line on the ground ?????? did you dig?
AntiChrist7 0
that's why I never surpise anyone and just stay lazy and do nothing
star_ver 0
Fail.
yourkiddingright_fml 0
When you are old enough get as far away from that idiot as you can! He will never be happy with anything you do. A control freak will never change!
DrMorbid 0
Your dad is an asshole. Leave him as fast as you can.
Ryder556 0
YDI for doing a mans job. Women shouldn't cut grass. They should be cleaning or cooking or making us sandwiches.
Alexgoesfml 3
Although you should have cut in horizontal lines he should have rewarded you instead. Not many people do things out of goodness and that behaviour should be rewarded to reinforce the behaviour. Parents these days. I bet the next geenration of parents will be worse, I tell you.
Gefangene 0
...wow, moving on from that completely ignorant statement said by a person who would do us all a favor if they died now... OP: I'm sorry:( I definitely agree with everyone who says get away from your dad.
Chantalasaurus 0
dumb bitch. should know you never cut in vertical lines! PWND.
ElNegroHombre 0
LOL noob always cut in horizontal.