Today, I think all those jokes my wife made about becoming an alcoholic during quarantine may be true. She came back from the weekly shopping today with 7 bottles of wine, a bottle of tequila and a 30-pack of beer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife was lucky not to get fired from her part-time job for doing nothing since we went into lockdown 8 weeks ago. To celebrate this, she has downed two bottles of red wine and watched an entire season of Virgin River. Guess I’ll have to find a third job to make up the income when the inevitable happens. FML
Today, I came home to pandemonium: the kids screaming, the house a mess, wet laundry, no food made, and my wife in her office. After cleaning, making dinner, putting everything away, and getting the kids to sleep, I grabbed myself a beer. My wife saw it and said, "You're kidding, right?" FML
Today, I noticed that my 80-year-old mother has gone through 50+ bottles of my home-made wine. She only moved in with me a month ago. And now I have no wine. FML
Today, I opened my fridge. It's entire contents: half a takeaway meal and 4 bottles of wine. FML
Today, after I was surprised by my husband announcing he was coming off the drink and going to the gym to get in shape, I found out that I've been such a fool, as it turns out the pre-workout shakes he kept making contained about 5 shots of vodka, so he could drink at home without me moaning. FML
Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML
Today, my wife told me alcohol gives me "increased confidence without increased ability." FML
Today, I noticed I have more alcohol in my fridge than I do actual food. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store to stock up on booze for the weekend. After the cashier commented on the size my purchase, I claimed to be hosting a dinner party tonight. I'm not. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML
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Top comments
draghkar 18
Only one bottle of tequila? She’s fine.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Pfft... what a lightweight...
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Comments (12)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Pfft... what a lightweight...
RichardPencil 32
Is she "joking" about you or herself becoming an alcoholic?
draghkar 18
Only one bottle of tequila? She’s fine.
slowhandjp 18
If she drank all of them a day she might be an alcoholic.
Gelene Johnston 5
Keep an eye on the average consumption per day. It is so easy for it to become an addiction/for our bodies and brains to become physically addicted. A lot of people can drink heavily no problem and in these times I get why people are imbibing more often! But for some it definitely is a slippery slope. 5 months sober here. :)
bl3ur0z3 17
I'm with her.
icecreamisrad 13
Haha she’s like 96% of the world doing the same thing...let her quarantine how she wants to😝
buymevickis92 26
Our liquor stores are closed and the alcoholics around me are going insane. You can’t even go in to the closest states to get any. Lol I’m glad I’m only addicted to food and online shopping.
altpoet1 5
Time to introduce her to anal.
Amit Sagar 10
you are all lucky. here the liquor stores are closed for almost 50 days now :(