Today, I texted my girlfriend and told her I was mowing my lawn. She responded, "It's about time, it keeps getting caught in my teeth!" I was referring to the lawn outside of my house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the guy I hooked up with last weekend texted me that I needed to "landscape my front lawn." FML
Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML
Today, I made a joke about my electric lawnmower sounding like a bunch of angry bees. It was verified when I ran over a beehive in my backyard. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, I mowed our lawn without being asked. My sister wouldn't stop yelling at me for not checking with her, because she wanted the grass to get long enough to "play jungle" in. My mom sided with her. FML
Today, I was mowing the lawn while wearing gym shorts. Because I had no pockets, I tucked my phone into the waistband of my shorts. I didn't notice my phone had slipped until the lawnmower started making an awful sound. FML
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed because she thought she heard me masturbating in the bathroom. I was brushing my teeth. FML
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Top comments
georgia_fml 0
I guess you've got more mowing to do then!
cactus_fml 0
So trim your pubes. No biggie. ;)
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Comments (167)
maddog_fml 0
Hahaha! Take the hint and cut the bush.
visage 0
Damn fool.... practice some self hygene. do you want her junk covered by some crazy untamed busch?!
Sycops 0
He never said she mowed her lawn...what if she doesn't? What then? Should he still?
ashleymarie37 0
hahahahahahahahahaha.
starvingxartist 0
seriously, then trim down there. it's gross and it gets in the way when you give someone head and you get hairs in your mouth. you'd rather give it to her without any hair, right?
xavierdevoy 0
You need to keep up on your landscaping
Qup 0
I don't get those who criticize you for telling your gf that you're mowing your lawn. she calls, asks 'wacha doin'? You answer" I'm mowing my lawn" it's not as if everyone has to have brilliant topics of conversation on their mind at a moments notice. I think your life is ****** because she complains about your pubes. so what if they get caught. it's part of life. sheesh!
bmach 0
If pubes getting caught in your mouth are a normal part of your life I sincerely pity you.
DrMorbid 0
Why is that an FML? That's completely normal that each one in a couple has to change some things to satisfy the other one. Shave your bush and live happily ever after.
burnquist764 0
You make her go down on you and you leave a giant bush for her to gag on? YDI, for shame.
Cerataphora 0
Who says he MAKES her do it? I feel bad for any girlfriend you have, for you thinking you can make her do something like that.
Puolukka 4
That's retarded...she probably WANTED to do it despite the fact that he doesn't trim or shave because she...umm...LOVES him?!
_THE_MASTER_ 0
yeah bro u need to keep up on your manscaping more and your landscaping less.
william0090 0
i tell my girlfriend when im doing chores...