Today, I texted my girlfriend and told her I was mowing my lawn. She responded, "It's about time, it keeps getting caught in my teeth!" I was referring to the lawn outside of my house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the guy I hooked up with last weekend texted me that I needed to "landscape my front lawn." FML
Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML
Today, I made a joke about my electric lawnmower sounding like a bunch of angry bees. It was verified when I ran over a beehive in my backyard. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, I mowed our lawn without being asked. My sister wouldn't stop yelling at me for not checking with her, because she wanted the grass to get long enough to "play jungle" in. My mom sided with her. FML
Today, I was mowing the lawn while wearing gym shorts. Because I had no pockets, I tucked my phone into the waistband of my shorts. I didn't notice my phone had slipped until the lawnmower started making an awful sound. FML
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed because she thought she heard me masturbating in the bathroom. I was brushing my teeth. FML
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Top comments
georgia_fml 0
I guess you've got more mowing to do then!
cactus_fml 0
So trim your pubes. No biggie. ;)
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Comments (167)
kurdow 0
hahahaa thats nasty
toosoonbreh 0
#123 FTW.
lettertjes 0
I don't think most men should trim their pubic hair, but still: how is this an fml? Now you know what she likes so you can choose wether or not you'll do it, right?
fickdich 0
uuum i think YDI for not "mowing your lawn". thats gross.
fillmyheart028 0
...ewwwww.
Liam_Vile 5
YDI because that's what you get for sending inane text messages to your girlfriend.
Jem0_0 0
OWNED
laurie1094 0
time to shave ! and why are you texting your gf about moaning the lawn?...
wellthatsucks 0
Did you even think before texting that? Maybe you shouldn't have said that's what you were doing or else you get into "that's what he said!"
spillproof 0
Your girlfriend has some gaps!