douglas
United States
Today, I surprised my four year-old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it "Horny". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Chula Vista, United States
Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML
Anonymous
Don't worry!
Today, my girlfriend of four months asked me to babysit her four-year-old daughter. All went well, and she texted me to see how she was. I wanted to say “a little ornery”. My phone auto corrected ornery to horny. She didn't appreciate that her four-year-old daughter was a little horny from her boyfriend. FML
parentof5
United States
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
anonymous
United States
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Maryann
Word of the day
Today, my four year-old daughter asked me what the word “necrophilia” means. I have no idea where she even heard that. FML
Herdad
United States
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
Oblivious
Kuwait
Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML
dinosaurboy
United States
Look!
Today, my mom and I went to the mall to look for some boxer briefs. While looking, I saw two girls I knew from school, so I went over to say hello. At least, that was my plan, but my mom screamed, "Look! These have dinosaurs on them!" They left the store giggling. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Rae
United States
Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML
Top comments
Niicky_fml 20
that's so cute! haha awww :)
Bowser6622 5
Coincidence?
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Comments (114)
jonybrabo11 0
too funny
DeLpHe3zY 7
ok now thats on you for being perverted. If the dinosaur had horns she would proceed to name it "horny"
SDMF 0
I think your daughter is more mature than you are.
Jazzalyn 10
The dino probably just had horns or something. I doubt she knows what the word, in that context, even means.
firefail1031 0
Chuckanorris Rex
stormchaser24 24
she does not know better. but still funny, mom I am getting horny to play lol.
baseballlegitly0 2
win
mismonroe 0
Hey!!! That's the name of my ******!
somerandomdude19 2
your daughter sounds awesome
TobiPuppy 0
This isn't an FML. The real FML is how you got pregnant at 16 or at least act like you're still 16 over how your child innocently named a stuffed animal.