douglas
United States
Today, I surprised my four year-old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it "Horny". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Chula Vista, United States
Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML
Anonymous
Don't worry!
Today, my girlfriend of four months asked me to babysit her four-year-old daughter. All went well, and she texted me to see how she was. I wanted to say “a little ornery”. My phone auto corrected ornery to horny. She didn't appreciate that her four-year-old daughter was a little horny from her boyfriend. FML
parentof5
United States
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
anonymous
United States
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Maryann
Word of the day
Today, my four year-old daughter asked me what the word “necrophilia” means. I have no idea where she even heard that. FML
Herdad
United States
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
Oblivious
Kuwait
Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML
dinosaurboy
United States
Look!
Today, my mom and I went to the mall to look for some boxer briefs. While looking, I saw two girls I knew from school, so I went over to say hello. At least, that was my plan, but my mom screamed, "Look! These have dinosaurs on them!" They left the store giggling. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Rae
United States
Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML
Top comments
Niicky_fml 20
that's so cute! haha awww :)
Bowser6622 5
Coincidence?
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Comments (114)
IIIiIII16 0
I still play with my Woody
jeffdubya 0
does the Dino have horns on it's head? don't over react.
Jaxx66 21
lol. she's 5. they don't have the sick mindedness built in yet. so it's cute ?
JTthePurpleNinja 5
exactly !
Elysian101 0
that really isn't that bad. now if it was more explicit, then there would be a problem
HunterTehBest 0
Today, My mom let me name my stuffed animal "Horny" FTW
U_Go_Boom 0
I pretty sure the little girl was referring to the actual horns that covered the dinasour not it being sexually excited.
iLoveBoobies21 0
"Dad I'm getting horny, and playing with the dog."
KLuff 0
Now you have to suffer the future consequences. "MOM! DAD! I can't find Horny!" Have fun in Walmart? :)
U_Go_Boom 0
I pretty sure the little girl was referring to the actual horns that covered the dinasour not it being sexually excited.
jose18 3
she's four she doesn't even know what that means tell her she shouldn't name it that and she should rename it