douglas
United States
Today, I surprised my four year-old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it "Horny". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Chula Vista, United States
Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML
Anonymous
Don't worry!
Today, my girlfriend of four months asked me to babysit her four-year-old daughter. All went well, and she texted me to see how she was. I wanted to say “a little ornery”. My phone auto corrected ornery to horny. She didn't appreciate that her four-year-old daughter was a little horny from her boyfriend. FML
parentof5
United States
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
anonymous
United States
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Maryann
Word of the day
Today, my four year-old daughter asked me what the word “necrophilia” means. I have no idea where she even heard that. FML
Herdad
United States
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
Oblivious
Kuwait
Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML
dinosaurboy
United States
Look!
Today, my mom and I went to the mall to look for some boxer briefs. While looking, I saw two girls I knew from school, so I went over to say hello. At least, that was my plan, but my mom screamed, "Look! These have dinosaurs on them!" They left the store giggling. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Rae
United States
Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML
Top comments
Niicky_fml 20
that's so cute! haha awww :)
Bowser6622 5
Coincidence?
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Comments (114)
blinksmilewink 23
I love dinosaurs.
thatguy205 4
I like turtles.
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
I like kitties!! =^_^=
HunterTehBest 0
First
DocBastard 40
First what? First to look like a tool? First to fail miserably? First to get moderated?
mintcar 10
She's 4 years old, I doubt she knows what the word means. Calm yo' **** OP.
HunterTehBest 0
I bet she does...
alliejokerr 9
i love it!!! kids say the sillyest things :)
lmaoatall 6
now you know not to buy her a stuffed beaver! I can hear it now. in public, I want to play with my beaver. let me play with it. NOW!!! ohh beaver, your so soft and furry.
JR559qwerty 0
hahahaha of coarse she would
MOSESRAISIN 0
shes four why should she know better?
wtfmylifedude 8
Is this dinosaur purple by any chance?
SteelCladAngel 0
....and? it's got horns, she's a little girl we had a cow that my brothers named horny when they were little because it had some ****** up horns. my daughter isnt two yet an calls dogs '****' we don't use the word **** and the only people who babysit our kids don't use /any/ vulgar language.
JTthePurpleNinja 5
it's so cute and innocent when a child doesn't know other meanings of such words !