By wow - 12/12/2011 01:37 - United States

Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 243
You deserved it 4 528

Same thing different taste

Top comments

trixy81 10

What? Well you clearly dodged a bullet with that one...

rcloca 10


In the middle of your speech, you mentioned have sex? WHY? Your not even dating. Are you retarded?

^ WTF? Where does it say he mentioned sex? She probably used it as an excuse to brush him off or is just a sexist bitch. Kind of like you're an assuming bitch.

rexgar2000 10

damn that bitch is cold. she's probably a nun. "she has more excuses than a pregnant nun" lol

Don't have sex. You will get pregnant and die.

n_epic_fail 14

And now we know she will be forever alone... Hot damn, that rhymed!

jillianmathers12 13

She probably has and uses a vibrator!

n_epic_fail 14

51- you just busted my bubble

ikickgingers 15

For two years you did not know she felt this way? Man, cut your loses, NOW. If she thinks sex is unnatural, then she probably does not know how she was conceived. Yeah... this is an FML x 2.

Steve95401 49

She's going to end up being one of those old spinsters who has 25 cats.

Xr70r7 4

Ok obviously "that sucks" because that is why its an FML...

Sex is unnatural? Thats how everyone on earth got here.....shut up bitch and bend over. Too far? Ya i know.

Drummerboy1234 0

43 - mean girls reference FTW.

AliCat18 12

wow, if I was you I would walk the otherway and never look back! She must have some mental block if she thinks sex is unatural....its probably one of the most natural things we have in the entire world! Don't feel bad, just be grateful you found out before anthing got serious between you two!

tell her its okay, you're into unnatural things

1waytoolive 1
Icecream93 4

@46 his name is epic fail, he could be trying to be funny, or actually fail epicly. He could also be from France.

^haha I agree. Tell her you'll give her neon flannel, a can of PBR and a bootleg CD-R of She & Him and her clothes will come right off

trixy81 10

What? Well you clearly dodged a bullet with that one...

Alright so clearly she's either crazy or just really turned off by you.

I have absolutely no words to comment on this! Lmaoo XD

xSonic 9

Well I never knew pouring your heart out means you tell them you want to bang the person....cause obviously op ended his speech like that for her response??

jwade11 12

97--- agree. She wouldn't of even mentioned "sex" if OP didn't hint around to it or bring it up some way or another. Unless she just assumed that he was wanting sex, OP is stupid for even bringing that up the first discussion he has about his feelings and whatnot. Women don't want to know the guy just wants the physical aspect of it.

dcg1375 7

Not necessarily. Maybe she just said it in response. She's either trying to make him go away or she's not comfortable with her own self. Sex is the most primitive instinct we have. Its programmed deep in our genes (not jeans). Procreation is in encoded in every DNA. So for her to feel that way is "unnatural".

She must be a test tube baby if she thinks sex is unnatural.

Haha OP I feel you pain same thing happened to me. She was totally confused and thought I was referring to sex. I was like eh?

adamcichuttek 2

2 - I was reading your profile and bitch you're not in my dreams, you're in my nightmares.

maz255 10

Its a sad day when you have to specify that the word your using isn't a typo. Those damn grammer nazis!

Man... 1) She has never had sex, and has ignored what was said in every biology or anatomy class she's ever been to 2) The dick she has had sucked so bad that she has convinced herself that there is no way that it is natural 3) She is a pre-teen 4) She is retarded (most likely) Those are all I could come up with. |the kid|

5) she's a bitch and she's just not into you.

22cute 17

Sounds like she's a "Sheldon". Asexual people do exist, you know.

CaptainDoorknob 7

Or maybe his idea of pouring his heart and soul out was "AYE GURRL LEME HOLLA ATCHO BOOTY".

rcloca 10
yumlicious 4

Yup. Didn't you know babies are delivered via storks?!

Really? What animal are AIDS delivered by?

Give her a roll of quarters and tell her to go lean up against a washer for a while.

I think AIDS are delivered by squirrels.

****, guys; I thought AIDS was supposed to *help* us. Where have I been all these years? |the kid|

54 - Monkeys! You didn't know? Rhesus monkeys, more accurately.

may651 14

If sex is unnatural the I got to be the weirdest mofo out there. ;)

bitchslapped22 14

It's funny because it's the most natural thing on the face of the earth

I'm pretty sure they're delivered by blacks

umm_Talk 9

I dunno, that would've just made me like her even more, if she's serious and that's not just an excuse not to go out with him :P but I'm weird

I want to know what kind of sex she's been having to think its unnatural.

I agree with 91. Does she have a pet German Sheppard by any chance?

nattynatters 14

Just be glad you didn't ride that crazy train!

Blackmail111 9

Nope! Neither he most likely asked for the worst type of sex: ANAL SEX

77- I hope you know I was referencing to a different FML...

It's so sad that I can hear a reference to "armpit sex" or being chased down the block or "you were the other guy" or "BE MY BABY'S DADDY" and immediately recognize the FML

77, anal is absolutely not the worst, I can think of many different types of sex that anal is preferable to. For me at least... ***********, for example, would be on the "Worse Than Anal List". Rape, anything involving a child, sex with someone who isn't breathing (temporary or not), sex while on fire/drowning... To list a few that would suck.. In regards to this fml, I think that was her telling you no nicely, like you aren't choosing her instead of she doesn't want you.

Blackmail111 9

1. 136 Get a sense of humor 2. 83 I wasn't replying to you, I was making a joke

140, I have a sense of humor, your post just wasn't funny :)

136, first off that was HILLARIOUS, but I'm gonna have to go and say that wasnt the nice way xD. She basically said "No, Cuz you are a horny guy, who only wants me for my ******". Id rather just take a "no sorry" xD

This comment has 69 thumbs up. I'm going to take a guess and say this was meant to be.. OP wanted to 69 his crush.

StopDropNRoll 11

107- the be my baby's daddy one is freaken hilarious!

emjayprice 0

hope she's ok with being single... or dating a liar.

crazy_whitechick 6

I'm curious to hear what she thinks is natural....

GhostlyGhoulish 1

Probably being vegan, saving the whales and praying for a car or something along those lines

kleopath 11

Why don't you learn grammar while you're busy leading your eventful 'vegan' life.

I like 99's comment just because she basically called herself a bitch without the use of that comma she missed.

People were having sex before they could speak

SpruceDread4578 13

99- you just made the atheist community less liked. Thanks for hurting us. Bitch.

She's probably a religious nuthead and does anal for a living

deet124 11

Rape is always an option, no?

Stormdriven37 6

*blonde and I know several blondes who are smart

hillbillyboy1993 7

34: are you everything on here that somebody makes a joke about?

Several? More than half the people in my class are blonde and they're really smart.

Pufferfish78 5

Hey, I'm blonde, smart and like to hump like bunnies!

Despite 200's weird, uncalled for and awkward comment, dumb blonde jokes are outdated (not like they were funny ever...) rude, and said by immature people.

ayooBrandon 12

Basically she said no because you're ugly

Not a chance, ugly stands for unique, gentle, loving, youth. There must be some other problem.

10- she said no because YOU'RE ugly. Haha

Oh snap! Are you just gonna take that, #10?

Actually 137, he's as cute as a kitten!(read his bio)