Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML
Add a comment - Reply to : #
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account
Sign in
Top comments
By
trixy81
| 10
What? Well you clearly dodged a bullet with that one...
By
rcloca
| 10
It's unnatural? Oh shit.
COMMENTS
By
beezerbnt00
| 4
That sucks
Reply
48Connor
| 10
In the middle of your speech, you mentioned have sex? WHY? Your not even dating. Are you retarded?
Reply
Shrike
| 22
^ WTF? Where does it say he mentioned sex? She probably used it as an excuse to brush him off or is just a sexist bitch. Kind of like you're an assuming bitch.
Reply
rexgar2000
| 10
damn that bitch is cold. she's probably a nun.
"she has more excuses than a pregnant nun" lol
"she has more excuses than a pregnant nun" lol
Reply
Meowingtons500
| 18
Don't have sex. You will get pregnant and die.
Reply
n_epic_fail
| 14
And now we know she will be forever alone...
Hot damn, that rhymed!
Hot damn, that rhymed!
Reply
JustinComments
| 3
46 - Actually, that doesn't rhyme.
Reply
jillianmathers12
| 13
She probably has and uses a vibrator!
Reply
n_epic_fail
| 14
51- you just busted my bubble
Reply
ikickgingers
| 15
Useless like a nun with tits.
Reply
FarSide
| 22
For two years you did not know she felt this way? Man, cut your loses, NOW. If she thinks sex is unnatural, then she probably does not know how she was conceived.
Yeah... this is an FML x 2.
Yeah... this is an FML x 2.
Reply
BillyDisselhorst
| 3
You look disgusting. Ewwwwwwwwwwwww
Reply
Steve95401
| 49
She's going to end up being one of those old spinsters who has 25 cats.
Reply
Xr70r7
| 4
Ok obviously "that sucks" because that is why its an FML...
Reply
gojira666
| 7
Sex is unnatural? Thats how everyone on earth got here.....shut up bitch and bend over. Too far? Ya i know.
Reply
Drummerboy1234
| 0
43 - mean girls reference FTW.
Reply
AliCat18
| 12
wow, if I was you I would walk the otherway and never look back! She must have some mental block if she thinks sex is unatural....its probably one of the most natural things we have in the entire world! Don't feel bad, just be grateful you found out before anthing got serious between you two!
Reply
kyarush
| 10
Still have a crush?
Reply
fmlpro0987
| 0
It would if he put a comma after know.
Reply
fmlpro0987
| 0
Sorry she*
Reply
Jonkbaby
| 19
tell her its okay, you're into unnatural things
Reply
Humanspider
| 18
Unnatural things are cool!
Reply
1waytoolive
| 1
Sounds like a hipster
Reply
Icecream93
| 4
@46 his name is epic fail, he could be trying to be funny, or actually fail epicly. He could also be from France.
Reply
Jonkbaby
| 19
^haha I agree. Tell her you'll give her neon flannel, a can of PBR and a bootleg CD-R of She & Him and her clothes will come right off
By
trixy81
| 10
What? Well you clearly dodged a bullet with that one...
Reply
aceman1992
| 9
Alright so clearly she's either crazy or just really turned off by you.
Reply
nadyy14
| 8
I have absolutely no words to comment on this! Lmaoo XD
Reply
SillyFart
| 7
Then don't??
Reply
xSonic
| 9
Well I never knew pouring your heart out means you tell them you want to bang the person....cause obviously op ended his speech like that for her response??
Reply
StormfrontX33_fml
| 24
Sex is natural. She is not. Ask her where she'd be without it.
Reply
jwade11
| 12
97--- agree. She wouldn't of even mentioned "sex" if OP didn't hint around to it or bring it up some way or another. Unless she just assumed that he was wanting sex, OP is stupid for even bringing that up the first discussion he has about his feelings and whatnot. Women don't want to know the guy just wants the physical aspect of it.
Reply
dcg1375
| 7
Not necessarily. Maybe she just said it in response. She's either trying to make him go away or she's not comfortable with her own self. Sex is the most primitive instinct we have. Its programmed deep in our genes (not jeans). Procreation is in encoded in every DNA. So for her to feel that way is "unnatural".
Reply
StoryOfTheYear
| 13
She must be a test tube baby if she thinks sex is unnatural.
Reply
FmyLifeInsurance
| 1
Counter-uav up they're blind
Reply
mcintosh123
| 15
Haha OP I feel you pain same thing happened to me. She was totally confused and thought I was referring to sex. I was like eh?
Reply
adamcichuttek
| 2
2 - I was reading your profile and bitch you're not in my dreams, you're in my nightmares.
Reply
maz255
| 10
154 cool story abercrombie..
Reply
ohSNAPyall
| 26
Abercrombro?
Reply
Agent36263626
| 4
Its a sad day when you have to specify that the word your using isn't a typo. Those damn grammer nazis!
Reply
TheNewGuy03
| 28
Man...
1) She has never had sex, and has ignored what was said in every biology or anatomy class she's ever been to
2) The dick she has had sucked so bad that she has convinced herself that there is no way that it is natural
3) She is a pre-teen
4) She is retarded (most likely)
Those are all I could come up with.
|the kid|
1) She has never had sex, and has ignored what was said in every biology or anatomy class she's ever been to
2) The dick she has had sucked so bad that she has convinced herself that there is no way that it is natural
3) She is a pre-teen
4) She is retarded (most likely)
Those are all I could come up with.
|the kid|
Reply
niplipsip
| 9
5) she's a bitch and she's just not into you.
Reply
22cute
| 17
Sounds like she's a "Sheldon". Asexual people do exist, you know.
Reply
CaptainDoorknob
| 7
Or maybe his idea of pouring his heart and soul out was "AYE GURRL LEME HOLLA ATCHO BOOTY".
By
rcloca
| 10
It's unnatural? Oh shit.
Reply
yumlicious
| 4
Yup. Didn't you know babies are delivered via storks?!
Reply
JustinComments
| 3
Really? What animal are AIDS delivered by?
Reply
TwitchingNebula
| 17
Give her a roll of quarters and tell her to go lean up against a washer for a while.
Reply
dav3800
| 7
I think AIDS are delivered by squirrels.
Reply
ItsTheKing
| 10
SQUAIDS? Aww man.
Reply
Spinnmaster
| 1
Scissoring, that's all natural! ;)
Reply
jabfinch
| 9
54-Quagmires.
Reply
TheNewGuy03
| 28
Fuck, guys; I thought AIDS was supposed to *help* us. Where have I been all these years?
|the kid|
|the kid|
Reply
laden_swallow09
| 34
54 - Monkeys! You didn't know? Rhesus monkeys, more accurately.
Reply
may651
| 14
If sex is unnatural the I got to be the weirdest mofo out there. ;)
Reply
bitchslapped22
| 14
It's funny because it's the most natural thing on the face of the earth
Reply
lewk908
| 13
I'm pretty sure they're delivered by blacks
Reply
AwesomePdudE
| 9
Reproduction SURE IS unnatural.
By
umm_Talk
| 9
She's a crazy bitch.
Reply
I_iz_B_a_troll
| 23
I dunno, that would've just made me like her even more, if she's serious and that's not just an excuse not to go out with him :P but I'm weird
Reply
deviable
| 9
I want to know what kind of sex she's been having to think its unnatural.
Reply
FarSide
| 22
I agree with 91. Does she have a pet German Sheppard by any chance?
Reply
topie_fml
| 6
Ear sex.
Reply
nattynatters
| 14
Just be glad you didn't ride that crazy train!
By
alvarny
| 17
What kind of sex did you ask for?
Reply
atkir002
| 1
ear sex??
Reply
SnowTrooper19
| 0
Armpit sex, because regular sex is boring
Reply
Blackmail111
| 9
Nope! Neither he most likely asked for the worst type of sex: ANAL SEX
Reply
SnowTrooper19
| 0
77- I hope you know I was referencing to a different FML...
Reply
friedchickenpie
| 14
It's so sad that I can hear a reference to "armpit sex" or being chased down the block or "you were the other guy" or "BE MY BABY'S DADDY" and immediately recognize the FML
Reply
hillbillyboy1993
| 7
haha me 2!
Reply
uniongirl02
| 0
Nose sex, perhaps? Haha
Reply
akayc32
| 0
77, anal is absolutely not the worst, I can think of many different types of sex that anal is preferable to. For me at least... Beastiality, for example, would be on the "Worse Than Anal List". Rape, anything involving a child, sex with someone who isn't breathing (temporary or not), sex while on fire/drowning... To list a few that would suck.. In regards to this fml, I think that was her telling you no nicely, like you aren't choosing her instead of she doesn't want you.
Reply
Blackmail111
| 9
1. 136 Get a sense of humor
2. 83 I wasn't replying to you, I was making a joke
2. 83 I wasn't replying to you, I was making a joke
Reply
akayc32
| 0
140, I have a sense of humor, your post just wasn't funny :)
Reply
coltsrock37
| 15
He probably had a swirly fetish
Reply
CanWeMicrowaveIt
| 11
136, first off that was HILLARIOUS, but I'm gonna have to go and say that wasnt the nice way xD. She basically said "No, Cuz you are a horny guy, who only wants me for my vagina". Id rather just take a "no sorry" xD
Reply
HatefulPilot
| 0
This comment has 69 thumbs up. I'm going to take a guess and say this was meant to be.. OP wanted to 69 his crush.
Reply
StopDropNRoll
| 11
107- the be my baby's daddy one is freaken hilarious!
Reply
Dojan
| 16
Swirly.
By
emjayprice
| 0
hope she's ok with being single... or dating a liar.
By
crazy_whitechick
| 6
I'm curious to hear what she thinks is natural....
Reply
GhostlyGhoulish
| 1
Probably being vegan, saving the whales and praying for a car or something along those lines
Reply
kleopath
| 11
Why don't you learn grammar while you're busy leading your eventful 'vegan' life.
Reply
mk58
| 31
I like 99's comment just because she basically called herself a bitch without the use of that comma she missed.
Reply
z620
| 0
People were having sex before they could speak
Reply
SpruceDread4578
| 13
99- you just made the atheist community less liked. Thanks for hurting us. Bitch.
Reply
ohmandapants
| 16
99 is a guy lol
Reply
GakTheFaQ
| 14
She's probably a religious nuthead and does anal for a living
By
deet124
| 10
Rape is always an option, no?
By
Stormdriven37
| 6
Ummm, is she blond?
Reply
Mickaylah
| 0
Lmfao !
Reply
mrosew442
| 10
*blonde
and I know several blondes who are smart
and I know several blondes who are smart
Reply
hillbillyboy1993
| 7
34: are you everything on here that somebody makes a joke about?
Reply
RLG
| 7
Several? More than half the people in my class are blonde and they're really smart.
Reply
Pufferfish78
| 5
Hey, I'm blonde, smart and like to hump like bunnies!
Reply
kei1108
| 13
Despite 200's weird, uncalled for and awkward comment, dumb blonde jokes are outdated (not like they were funny ever...) rude, and said by immature people.
By
ayooBrandon
| 12
Basically she said no because you're ugly
Reply
EvilPotato
| 14
Not a chance, ugly stands for unique, gentle, loving, youth. There must be some other problem.
Reply
uniongirl02
| 0
10- she said no because YOU'RE ugly. Haha
Reply
VaanBasch
| 1
Oh snap! Are you just gonna take that, #10?
Reply
CanWeMicrowaveIt
| 11
Actually 137, he's as cute as a kitten!(read his bio)