Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up really out of it, and as I was walking into the kitchen, I stubbed my toe on a tile. I sat down, then got up and stubbed the same toe against the table, went over to the kitchen and stubbed the same toe on the same tile again. FML
Today, my husband moved all the furniture a few inches to the left because he saw online that it makes moving around the house really difficult, and he wanted to test it out. Unfortunately, the one who tested it out was me; I got home, went to sit down, and broke 2 toes on the coffee table. FML
Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Today, I went to shut the door and ended up banging my toe on my guitar stand; then, as I was getting a snack out of a closet, I banged my toe again on the drawer and now I can't walk. FML
Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML
Today, while demonstrating to my wife how I broke my big toe, I broke the little toe on the opposite foot. FML
Today, I tried to sneak into the kitchen for a midnight snack. I stubbed my toe so hard on a stool leg, I yelped then tried to keep as quiet as possible. My mom came running, thinking our cat and dog were fighting and hissing again. I hobbled back to bed, only to realize I didn't actually get any food. FML
Today, I broke my toe. After telling my friend about it, he promptly stomped on it to "see what my reaction would be." FML
Today, the neighbors heard a blood curdling scream and called the cops, thinking I was being murdered. Nope. I just stubbed my toe. FML
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Top comments
1dvs_bstd 41
It's simple, we kill the bitch.
rocker_chick105 31
Your sister is an evil genius
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Comments (147)
ladybugz23 13
i did that to my sister too! just because im older and love to pick on her even give her hard time.
andiesaur 18
Wait, that actually works?
Sp00ky117 7
Buhahaha.. Diabolical Genius. I like her style.
drshn 22
ate you 3 yeah old??? I mean we have a thing called eyes, it is given for this very purpose called 'seeing'.
slyde32 12
you turn every light on in the house when you get up in the middle of the night? OP never said if it was day time or night, so she could've done this in the middle of the night
glabberfasted 16
Oh shut up. It's called muscle memory, and you would do the exact same thing.
91hayek 31
This girl already knows that effective chaos and confusion is achieved better by subtle and simple means of sabotage at a very basic level. She probably already works for PsyOps division of ASIO and does this for kicks.
captainsmegma 12
Time to saran wrap the toilet and make her some delicious laxative laced brownies. Best served right before bed.
worldclassrager 41
Move it back then to the right and see if she has trouble or if she notices it it will be in the same place
the_boyo_cgw 10
are you blind or something?
sjbartholome 14
It's called WATCH WHERE YOU ARE GOING!
WMFG16 14
Is your eyesight/depth perception that horrendous?