Today, I was reminded that I used by dad's camera all summer... - FML

By Anonymous - 10/4/2009 01:15 - United States

Today, I was reminded that I used by dad's camera all summer to take naked pictures for boyfriend when my dad sent me an email saying: "FYI: when you delete pictures directly off the camera they get uploaded as trash files when the camera is connected to the computer." He saw them all. FML

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Rock, hard place

Basic Instinct

My body, my choice

By jcedarholm - 13/9/2012 05:19 - United States - San Marcos

Today, at work, I was talking to a Scottish woman when my coworker and I both told her we were also Scottish. To this she replied, "We Scottish people get around." I then said, "Tell me about it, I'm one of four siblings from my dad, he definitely gets around." She was talking about travel. FML

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By KingSnow03 - 31/3/2020 20:00

Stay away from us!

Today, because I have a coughed a total of 2 times in a row, I'm now banned from seeing any of my family until I get tested for coronavirus. The earliest available appointment is May 3rd. Looks like quarantine is going to be a lot worse than I thought. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/2/2013 18:27 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

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By itendstonight - 9/8/2009 12:42 - Ireland

Today, it was my turn to have the trophy my baseball team won a few weeks ago. I then find out that my brother and his buddies thought it would be funny to fill the trophy up with beer, drink the beer, and then pee in it. Not only is it over 50yrs old, it stinks of pee and is due back tomorrow. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 07:54 - United States

Today, I found out that if I try to resist a 70 pound bulldog that's humping my leg, I will end up with stitches. FML

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By anon - 8/3/2009 08:47 - United States

Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a 'talk.' Now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML

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By random - 23/10/2013 22:41 - United States - Amarillo

Today, while working as a paramedic, we got called to an assisted living home. The medical emergency? The woman had a leak in her bathroom and wanted it fixed. FML

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By JTo - 3/3/2012 22:07 - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I found an email he had written to an ex-fling telling her he was single and wanted to meet up. He wrote that email from my computer, in my apartment, on Valentine's Day. FML

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By ev_lyn_aw - 17/5/2017 04:00

Today, today while walking my dog in a different part of town, a man ran screaming out of his house, and threw a plastic bag at me. It was dog poop. It was the first time I'd ever walked in front of his house with my dog. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/1/2011 00:29 - Serbia

Today, I got a call from Red Cross about the blood donation I gave last week. They informed me that I have Hepatitis C. FML

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By The hopeful - 26/12/2016 08:29

Today, my ex-boyfriend called me. I was really excited, thinking he wanted to get back together. He just wanted to get back the Christmas present he gave me before we broke up so that he could return it for cash. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/5/2009 04:33 - United States

Today, a little girl came up to me and said "Hi, my name is Lindsey, lets be friends!". I thought she was cute so I played along and said "Okay! My name is Jen!" Her Reply: "Wait, nevermind, I don't want to be friends anymore. You smell funny." FML

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By Pissed - 21/10/2009 10:05 - New Zealand

Today, I was standing in the gas station, pulling out my wallet to pay the $100 of gas I just filled my car with. I opened my wallet and found a note saying "borrowed money for food". FML

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By Maddie110110 - 7/6/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend a long and heartfelt message. He responded with "tl; dr". FML

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By AloisTrancy - 24/10/2019 22:00

Corporate logic

Today, I was called into the office and suspended due to allegations made by a coworker of poor work performance. Yesterday, I received a certificate praising my work performance. I might be dismissed at any moment. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/6/2014 14:34 - United Kingdom - Ormskirk

Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 01:00

Second time

Today, I woke up with a rash on my face after just getting over a bad cold. I was told by the doctor that it was a staph infection spread by wearing a face mask. The face mask I wore so people wouldn’t catch the cold from me. FML

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By Noname - 14/3/2009 01:06 - United States

Today, after taping 5-year-olds do a skit at an improv camp, I used the camera's view-finder to zoom in on a female co-worker's chest. Another female co-worker tapped me on the shoulder to show that the TV was still connected to the camera. Parents, kids, and instructors all witnessed it. FML

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By ohwell - 1/9/2016 17:49 - United States - Arlington

Today, I handed in my 2 weeks notice, since I have to leave for college soon. My boss told me it was fine, then cut all my remaining shifts. FML

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By dinosaur - 10/1/2011 10:35 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML

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By bglenney - 15/8/2013 09:47 - United States

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

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By jlong9071 - 9/11/2014 03:38 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I learned that when you're talking about your girlfriend's 6'4", 250 lb dad in a negative way, you should really make sure he isn't around first. FML

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By Jes - 28/6/2016 00:44

Today, my father called me to ask what my middle name is. He apparently needed to know it to remove me out from his will. FML

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By Yoir mom - 16/1/2020 20:00 - United States - Port Richey

Very bad idea

Today, I realized I was late for work, so I rushed out of bed only to accidentally step onto my dog which then promptly bit my leg and now I'm in the ER. FML

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By jab43 - 23/7/2011 00:57 - United States

Today, after returning home from a camping trip, I found a leech on my love spuds. I ended up having to call my dad in to help me get it off. FML

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By toryzhere - 29/3/2012 11:13 - Canada

Today, I had a job interview. I have major OCD, and I had to sit in a room with a man covered in cat hair, struggling to even survive for an hour and a half. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/10/2012 07:23 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

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By CoA - 6/9/2016 11:40 - United States - Dekalb

Today, at my new job, I realized I have been spending too much time with just my cat. As I passed some coworkers in the hall, I nodded and gave them the "slow blink of trust" that is used with cats. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/6/2016 23:29 - United Kingdom - Cannock

Today, thanks to the unholy power of autocorrect, I told my mother-in-law that "crispy dick" is on the menu tonight. FML

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By thebeachisthatway - 22/10/2012 18:56 - United States - Worcester

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

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By ali - 3/7/2012 11:51 - United States - Livingston

Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML

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By Unreality - 26/1/2011 21:26 - United States

Today, I discovered my fiancé has been telling everyone else we are just friends, yet last night he wanted me to go with him to pick up my engagement ring. I'm supposing the wedding will be a surprise to everyone. FML

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By kelly - 21/3/2011 07:07 - Estonia

Today, I called my mom to tell her that I'm coming over for a visit. She answered: 'Why? What do you need? Food? Money? I'm not going to help you! You're a grown woman!' And she hung up. I just found out that I'm pregnant and she was the first person I wanted to share it with. FML

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By LesboLover - 26/6/2019 02:30

Today, I found out that my crush is a lesbian. Everyone knew about it. Everyone also knew that I liked her. No one told me. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/2/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

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By IwishIwashigh - 1/3/2017 14:00

Today, I went to make cookies, the box said mix by hand so I literally used my hands. Not a fork or anything. My step-mom walked in and laughed at me. FML

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By Stupid_Chick - 1/6/2010 01:09 - Canada

Today, I found out that my family hides food from me. FML

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By kstaa - 10/2/2010 11:47 - Australia

Today, I was sitting on the train wondering what that putrid smell was. As I got off the train I realized there was vomit all over the back of my seat. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/4/2020 08:00

It never rains…

Today, I was at work when I got a call to say my grandad died. When I was walking out to my car, I realised someone had stolen all my hubcaps. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/5/2012 11:44 - United States

Today, I got tasered by a cop. It was his second day on the job. My crime? Sneezing during a sobriety test. FML

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Top comments

By Shippicus | 0

#98630 - Friday 10 April 2009 10:08

You're an idiot. Why would you use YOUR DAD's camera to take naked pics? YDI.

By AMelodyofJuly | 0

#98595 - Friday 10 April 2009 9:51

Today, I was reminded of a time I borrowed my grandpa's camera and later thought I was clever because I deleted the pics off the camera. Now I know those pics must have showed up later on his computer. FML

COMMENTS

By fillmyheart028 | 0

#98593 - Friday 10 April 2009 9:50

ewww. creepy dad.

By AMelodyofJuly | 0

#98595 - Friday 10 April 2009 9:51

Today, I was reminded of a time I borrowed my grandpa's camera and later thought I was clever because I deleted the pics off the camera. Now I know those pics must have showed up later on his computer. FML

By megadeth222 | 0

#98607 - Friday 10 April 2009 9:55

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

subiedude08 | 17

#5693052 - Saturday 28 September 2013 10:30

Wtf

By asub3292 | 0

#98610 - Friday 10 April 2009 9:56

you what the solution is right?
go home and save the pics in a zipped file thats hidden and has a password in some obscure place of your computer. then call you ur dad and tell him "If you dont call me and give me what ever i want ... im calling CPS."

By RandomCookie26 | 0

#98619 - Friday 10 April 2009 10:03

Hehe...To NOT know that the pictures show up anyway is kinda of stupid dont you think? Its basic knowledge. I hope your dad deleted them...

Reply

woahmandi | 0

#380772 - Thursday 9 July 2009 3:49

what do you mean trash files?
like the recycle bin?

Reply

skyler_kitttyyy | 0

#1274823 - Friday 20 August 2010 10:18

dose it matter it's ur dad he wa there at birth he cahnged ur dipers!!!!!!!

Reply

evilplatypus | 38

#4935771 - Saturday 15 September 2012 19:06

Not one of my three cameras does that. Once the photo is deleted from the camera, it's gone. They've never once showed up in the trash can or recycling bin on my computer.

Reply

NisaSayshi | 24

#6674330 - Friday 19 August 2016 13:28

some people should refrain from a keyboard

By Shippicus | 0

#98630 - Friday 10 April 2009 10:08

You're an idiot. Why would you use YOUR DAD's camera to take naked pics? YDI.

By taraaa_fml | 4

#98648 - Friday 10 April 2009 10:34

this shouldn't even be a debate.

ydi ydi ydi

not only is it trashy but disrespectful to your dad.

Reply

mini8_fml | 0

#1311978 - Saturday 28 August 2010 14:34

agree

By poison29 | 0

#98650 - Friday 10 April 2009 10:36

#4 is creepy.

By Kick62 | 0

#98653 - Friday 10 April 2009 10:38

#1, #4, Congratulations for having little to no knowledge of human interaction!

#1 - Their dad was clearly just letting them know that a) they know what they did and b) it had better not happen again / don't let me see them.
#4 - You are a sociopath.

Reply

stuner56 | 22

#2815519 - Sunday 3 July 2011 21:39

what did they say?

By Mikeymikey | 4

#98655 - Friday 10 April 2009 10:41

lol, lets hope, for your sake that he's not into yr bf..