hospital
United States
Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
dr mamour
Paris, France
Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML
not as scarred as he should be
Cambridge, Canada
Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML
jonh_215
United States
Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML
WTFFAIL
Montreal, Canada
Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML
Anonymous
Utrecht, Netherlands
Today, it was my first day working as a dental assistant, leaving me in charge of all cleaning. The first patient was so scared, he peed his pants. Which might have been understandable if he hadn't been a fully grown man. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Detroit, United States
The first day of the rest of your life (or not)
Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML
Matthew
Wrong place, wrong time
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
HairyBoobs
United States
So, here's the thing…
Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML
Buggga
Australia
Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML
OhPleaseNo
OhPleaseNo
We could be heroes
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Top comments
knibbsy 4
Man, you're new job is nuts! What a hairy situation. You did some hangin' around the office, only to get low-balled by your boss.
xxxbooxxx 16
Eww!!
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Comments (99)
annanonomus 0
Alright, I'm already in a giggling mood and this just made me laugh even more! I'm sorry OP, but your job is not going to be all fun and games. Should you even be sharing this patient info with the world? Even though you don't state their name, you're violating their privacy. If HIPPA found this out, you could lose your job. I'm just saying... and if you share this info with the world, I can imagine you tell your friends exactly who he is. That said, I'm not sure you should even work there...
annanonomus 0
And yes people, I am only kidding.
WorkThatButt 2
Oh.. Your not funny.
geko911 22
That sounds like Schroedingers douchebag. He decides whether he's joking or not based on the reactions of others.
penelopecruise 2
i just lost the game
xStiina 0
Wow, that's just badluck >.<
Doortje 30
eww, that's freaking gross.
jkgfdxb 0
ooo score!! ;)
hnz 13
hey look at the bright side. not any people can shave someone's testicles. it can be an eye opener!
littlemissdqgirl 8
It can be a little tricky, but fun;)
RedPillSucks 33
or an eye closer if he pops one off in her face.
iPunchedBigFoot 5
Kinky
LOLSWAT 0
Vera?
Zebidee 9
It's. Your. JOB! FFS!! WTF did you think working in a hospital was going to be like?! You will have to clean up stuff you never thought could come out of a human, and deal with the most disgusting stuff in and on a person that you could ever imagine, while watching the patients you engage with die occasionally, and running the gauntlet of one of the most mind-blowing bureaucracies there is. I can't understand these FMLs where people say "It's day one of my new job, and I had to do something that wasn't glamorous. FML" To put it in a way people will understand: You're a n00b and you got pwned like a n00b, so STFU.
term3186 1
win +1
xGet_Over_It 0
"..while watching the patients you deal with die occasionally.." Occasionally? So the patients die sometimes and come back to life? Then they would die occasionally again?
love_me_electric 20
86 - I have no idea if you're a moron or just trolling, but that was one of the stupidest things I've read on here (Which says a lot). Do you even know what the word occasional means?
xGet_Over_It 0
#90, Yes, I do know what the word means. But here it is for you since there's a possibility that you're the one that doesn't know the meaning of the word. oc·ca·sion·al [uh-key-zhuh-nl] -adjective 1. occurring or appearing at irregular or infrequent intervals; occurring now and then: (e.g an occasional headache.) OCCURRING NOW AND THEN. So the patients might die now AND later?
Zebidee 9
#86 - oh, sorry - my mistake. I thought OP said 'Zombie Hospital'. I'm always getting those mixed up. I guess I'm just not a braaaaains surgeon. ;D
FLCL4711Fox 0
you're ballsy for taking a job like that. but don't get too cocky kid you're still new. after a long days work like that you should just hit the sack until the **** crows in the morning and you can do it all again. anyone wanna watch "shaving ryan's privates"? I mean saving private Ryan? XD
xGet_Over_It 0
No.