Transportation: Today, I was walking to work through a bad part of town. A man...

I'm the OP - just to let you know, I'm a young girl in my 20's, so I generally try to be careful in high crime areas. If that makes me a bad person, then okay. I was crossing the street from one side, and the road curved so I couldn't see the car coming. The guy was on the other side of the road. I'm fine now, I was only in the hospital for a couple of hours, broken leg and a couple of stitches.

Transportation

Not such a happy ending

Cogs in the machine

Munchausen by proxy

10/03/2014 16:38

Today, I had my first job interview after three years of unemployment. I was so happy that I broke down into tears the moment I saw the interviewer. Great first impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 377

You deserved it 6 554

26/01/2012 16:45

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 962

You deserved it 32 299

Time to move out

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 08:01

Today, I'm spending $1,400 on rent each month to hear my upstairs neighbor walk from one end of their apartment to the other, and then back again. This occurs pretty much all day and all night. Yesterday I woke up at 3:30 a.m. from the banging of steps. My other neighbor played his music so loud, I felt it through the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 387

You deserved it 136

27/06/2015 17:40

Today, my mom said that if I wasn't her daughter, she probably wouldn't even like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 117

You deserved it 2 860

05/08/2019 16:00

Today, despite seeing her every weekend, her not telling me her work schedule, and her having ignored me every time she gets a boyfriend, my sister is upset that I "don't make more of an effort to see her." Sorry, I'm trying to not rely on people who hurt me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 565

You deserved it 133

Never trust Facebook

By sad - 01/10/2020 16:06

Today, I left a gift on my colleague's desk, with a note saying I liked him. He brought it over and handed it back, and told me he's married. His Facebook says he is single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 572

24/06/2015 04:02

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that me and her father's wedding is just a big joke and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 975

You deserved it 3 086

06/02/2010 06:25

Today, during a basketball game, I fell into metal chairs which then decided to fold in, causing me to fall to the floor in a very dramatic and painful fall. When I stood up, so did everyone else and they were all clapping, including the other team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 041

You deserved it 3 498

29/08/2010 14:14

Today, my boyfriend was talking with his friends about how long girls take to get ready (hair, make-up, etc.). I said, "I never spend a long time getting ready..." He then looked at me and said, "maybe you should." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 836

You deserved it 7 703

28/09/2016 12:08

Today, my boyfriend and I wanted to kayak. On the way, I told him I had to go back to our hotel because I needed the bathroom and didn't want a public one to smell. Once back in the elevator at the hotel, it got stuck. For an hour. I pooped myself and had to wait 40 minutes after that for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 325

You deserved it 2 452

02/09/2018 03:30

Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 477

You deserved it 225

26/10/2009 06:15

Today, after waiting a couple weeks, I finally slept with this guy I really like. It went like this: 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 041

You deserved it 4 757

Casual something

By lukey101 - 14/02/2021 18:30

Today, I went to the Asian Grocery. I politely smiled, bellowed, “Hello!” and kind of waved to the cashier as I walked in, to which he gave me a blank, scared-for-his-life kinda look. Turns out he was actually just another customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 352

What's the point?

By Emily - 07/06/2020 20:08

Today, whilst doing training as a mental health nurse, our glorified pineapple of a lecturer told us that trying to stop patients wanting to commit suicide isn't a possibility. So, what the hell are we training for? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 145

13/07/2013 20:26

Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my family. My dad's only reaction was to scoff, "Really? Stop breeding already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 196

You deserved it 15 777

02/01/2015 22:14

Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 025

You deserved it 10 209

Luck of the draw

By Jordan - 12/11/2020 05:02

Today, I waited 3 hours and paid $360 to have a routine tuneup done on my old car. As I pulled into my driveway, about to turn off the engine, one of my headlights blew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 52

25/05/2009 21:42

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 088

You deserved it 44 706

12/01/2011 02:37

Today, I was applying for a job at a corporate office. Everything went fine until I hurled all over the manager, who until then seemed to like me. Never eat expired canned tuna on the same day as an interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 941

You deserved it 34 570

24/01/2014 15:11

Today, my mom asked me when I'm going to propose to my girlfriend. Not only was she in the room at the time, I've spent the whole week thinking of ways to break up with her without ending up in the hospital. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 48 645

You deserved it 5 387

14/11/2018 05:00

Today, I tried to break up a fight between two of my coworkers. They decided to show their gratitude by smashing me in the face with a thick ceramic dish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 595

You deserved it 309

01/03/2009 18:37

Today, I was questioned about a request for a restraining order filed against me by an old woman. According to the report, she's seen me "walking near her house and waving at her" for the last two months. I've been her next-door neighbor for a year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 782

You deserved it 2 573

23/12/2016 14:31

Today, we were looking forward to spending x-mas eve with our best friends of 13 years before moving across the country where we know no one. That was the plan. The stomach flu virus has a different plan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 467

You deserved it 456

11/10/2013 16:43

Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 533

You deserved it 3 890

01/12/2012 17:01

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 293

You deserved it 3 088

14/03/2010 14:49

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 860

You deserved it 11 733

22/06/2015 03:08

Today, while taking a slow night at my waitressing job, I thought I heard the sound of crying coming from the kitchen. I rushed in, thinking something terrible had happened. Nope, the bus boy was just watching porn on his phone with no headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 581

You deserved it 2 348

21/11/2018 15:30

Today, after my husband applied for a VA loan so we could move out of our ridiculously overpriced apartment and into our first home as a mortgage would be significantly cheaper, we were denied. If we can afford $1400/month in rent, we surely can’t be trusted with $1000/month for a mortgage, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 117

You deserved it 181

Occam's razor

By cheatingapparently - 20/06/2020 23:06

Today, I got an A+ on a writing assignment. My teacher asked me three times if I really did write this article myself, and didn't memorise an article from the Internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 378

You deserved it 106

26/01/2015 19:17

Today, after putting a bag of dirty laundry in the laundry room to wait for an open washer, I came back to find a "free stuff" sign on all of my expensive jeans, new towels, and favorite sweatshirts. The bag was over half empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 623

You deserved it 13 470

Bass, how low can you go?

By Anonymous - 06/10/2020 02:02

Today, I tried to study for my upcoming engineering exam. The class I’m in is notorious for being incredibly difficult and is oftentimes the reason for people dropping out of the major. Too bad the dudes in the apartment next to me have a subwoofer and keep playing music that has way too much bass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 86

26/01/2016 03:37

Today, I got fired from my job. When I asked why, all that was said to me was, "We don't have to disclose that information, but you did nothing wrong. It's just not working out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 957

You deserved it 1 449

05/12/2014 15:44

Today, my work department set a new sales record, something not done in nearly 30 years. It's corporate policy to give a bonus to each worker responsible as a reward. Our manager decided our "bonuses" would be plastic medals from Dollar Tree. He didn't even buy enough for everybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 795

You deserved it 2 456

17/03/2015 05:09

Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 981

You deserved it 4 068

24/10/2009 10:27

Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 365

You deserved it 6 549

20/12/2009 14:37

Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 429

You deserved it 11 628

Old memories

By Will T - 01/09/2021 01:01

Today, I pulled a groin muscle. While cleaning the cat litter box. The last time this happened, I was playing high school football. 40 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 93

30/06/2010 23:36

Today, I was late to work because the metro broke down. Yesterday I was late to work because the train in front of me broke down. The week before that I was late to work because the swat team shut the entire metro station down. Even the interns think I'm making this up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 621

You deserved it 3 484

Hey y'all!

By Anonymous - 01/05/2021 00:56

Today, a friend was over at my house. My dad walks over and talks to me; I respond. He then goes back in his room. My friend then says, "Don’t get self-conscious, but when you talk to your dad, your southern accent gets REALLY strong." Guess who's now self-conscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 116

16/12/2014 01:23

Today, my mom told me how lucky I was to inherit her "asymptomatic" periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 450

You deserved it 3 019

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Top comments

FFML_314 11

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 9:01

Watch where you're going.

cantthink123 12

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 18:24

Comments

Natasha97 0

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 9:00

FIRST!

FFML_314 11

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 9:01

Watch where you're going.

nirvanafan980 0

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 9:31

fail.

sarah48_fml 0

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 10:57

you deserve it for stereotyping. not everyone is a creeper.

FFML_314 11

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 11:09

I guess you have magical powers that allow you to see things others can't.

EffinTrollFace 0

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 14:28

Cabbit hunny. She is just trying to state that not all of New Jersey is 'dirty'. You do not need to go all ke$ha on her

ThePwnapple 0

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 16:07

34, I don't know what planet you live on, but EVERYONE is a creeper. No exceptions.

acccccccc 1

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Thursday 7 October 2010 6:06

This is why you should be in the kitchen makin sammichs! YDI jk tehe

Hunter148Cassie 0

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Thursday 7 October 2010 7:24

Ouch!! I hope your okay. I understand why you would ignore him but sometimes you should check if he looks suspicious or not and actually maybe listen him and not look at him maybe?

cantthink123 12

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Tuesday 26 October 2010 18:03

Trenton.

iislix1ii 19

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Thursday 7 July 2011 14:10

I would thumb this up sevral times. Im not poor but op sounds like a total stuck up b*tch for being so stereotypical thinking all poor people are bad.

dreamering 16

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 9:02

Are you writing from the heaven?

twinny_sc 13

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 9:06

That would be cool. If she is, I'm jealous.

sevans 0

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 10:08

getting hit by a car doesn't mean you'll die. I'm living proof of that one.

Timmo_fml 2

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 12:17

Not just heaven, THE heaven. Is that the one where all the cool people go?

EffinAhole 0

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 12:17

Ha! If OP was dead my guess would be hell before heaven if FML was his website option.

EffinTrollFace 0

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 16:11

Cabbit hunny. She is just trying to state that not all of New Jersey is 'dirty'. You do not need to go all ke$ha on her.

Bloodberry 0

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Friday 8 October 2010 9:05

lmao 41

TheTigerRoars 0

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 9:06

This happens to be karma. Don't make your girlfriend cry by parking in the expectant mother spot when you know she's freaking out. -The Fluffs

EffinAhole 0

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 12:19

Hey fluff! did you partake in that catnip I gave you? Your comment makes no sense. *shaves fluffs fur off*

starlightLA 0

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 21:08

huh?

Freeze_fml 16

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 9:07

Pay more attention to your surroundings.

caskeybrent 0

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 9:08

haha dumbass

knibbsy 4

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 9:09

YDI for living in Dirty Jersey. What do you expect? There's still hope, move to PA while you can.

nikkibeez 0

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 9:37

woah woah, not all of jersey is dirty. I'm initially from jersey and it rly bothers me when people call it dirty. down south, where I'm from, is all farms and not dirty. unless you're speaking of Newark, fine.. which is the same as some parts of New York or any other state.

knibbsy 4

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 9:46

If you look at the pollution being emitted, crime, air quality, and other factors that are documented, you will see NJ is either the worst or near the bottom of the list out of all 50 states.

cabbitt 0

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 9:47

Blah, blah, blah 20. Calm down.

kiwimartini 0

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 16:03

so true, everytime my friends and I drive to jersey for the shore/AC, it always smells like garbage in that state...what's up with that?? are people immune to that awful human waste odor or something?? PA is the way to go :)