Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got Superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "New pirate" in the office. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I shattered a coffee pot at work and ended up with a piece of glass in my eye. Now I have to look like a pirate until its healed, and it's nowhere near Halloween. FML
Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML
Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boss that I was late to work because somehow my hand slipped when I was brushing my teeth, and I hit myself in the eye with the brush. I had to remove my contacts, wash my eye, and find my glasses. He didn't believe me, but at least my eye is minty fresh. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I was polishing a ring I made at a jewelry shop I intern at. The ring flicked off my fingers and smashed me in the eye. It only took a single trip to the emergency room to make me pretty sure I won't be getting the job. FML
Today, at my new job waitressing, I walked into a glass door at full speed while carrying a tray of drinks. Not only did I spill everything, but I also left a weird make up face print on the glass for everyone to laugh at. FML
Today, in my rush to do my hair and get to work, I managed to trip over my dog, hit my eye on the counter, and sprain my ankle. I arrived at work with a black eye and a painful limp. My boss didn't care, and fired me for showing up late. FML
Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
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Top comments
chilearmy123 4
Arghhhhh
LaColombianita 26
That sounds very painful! But pirate isn't that bad of a nickname.. At least they didn't call you cyclops or something like that lol.
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Comments (141)
kimiko521 0
But hey if they ask how you got it maybe telling them the truth isn't the best idea... It might ruin your chances of ever living this up..
penguin_princess 0
How did you manage to get super glue in your eye!?
schultz2988 0
how did you get superglue in your eye????? lol
Mister_Triangle 21
Good thing tears aren't made of glue
auzz1_pride 9
argh ye matey wer be the gold.
auzz1_pride 9
I'm not one to be fussy about shoes or anything but why would you want to wear high heels to work? don't they blister your feet or something??
The_Hitdude 12
Plenty of women wear heels to work, they feel it looks more professional. And blisters on her feet only depend on what type of work she's doing, and I doubt she'll be on her feet all day. C'mon man, I'm a guy and I know this! :D
auzz1_pride 9
56) I'm sorry I don't bother wasting my time to look this up, it's maybe cuz I'm not a GIRL!
evilplatypus 39
I AM a woman and more likely than blistering is f*cking your bones up. High heels are a step up from water boarding in the torture department. As far as I'm concerned, anything bad that happens to you as a result of wearing high heels (sprained ankle, trip and fall, super glue in the eye) is completely YDI.
The_Hitdude 12
61-Just to let you know, asking that question on FML was more of a waste of time than Googling it. I was joking with my last sentence, but if you're going to be a prick and talk to someone who just took time to answer your question like that, then I suggest you take the rest of your questions and shove them up your ass. There is nothing wrong with having that kind of information as a STRAIGHT MALE, so I don't understand why you're so freaked out by that.
The_Hitdude 12
61-Just to let you know, asking that question on FML was more of a waste of time than Googling it. I was joking with my last sentence, but if you're going to be a prick and talk to someone who just took time to answer your question like that, then I suggest you take the rest of your questions and shove them up your ass. There is nothing wrong with having that kind of information as a STRAIGHT MALE, so I don't understand why you're so freaked out by that.
MissHayleyJames 7
Heels are kind of mandatory for some professional jobs though unfortunately. You don't have to wear the sky high ones but you do have to wear something with a heel. The downside is you can't find cute shoes with a low heel. The only low-heeled shoes I've ever seen are the ugly granny shoes or boots (which aren't ugly but are seasonal). Luckily I don't have a profession where I have to wear heels although cowboy boots will make your feet sore by the end of the day. The biggest problem with heels though isn't the blisters. It's the massacre of the ball of your foot from bearing most of your weight. After 2 hours in heels I'm dying so I always keep flip flops or Uggs with me (depending on the weather) to change into when I don't have to look all fixed up anymore.
auzz1_pride 9
73- sorry If I sounded like a dick but I honestly wouldn't waste my time going on google to find that out, it is not like I'm a person with no patience.
auzz1_pride 9
oops was referred to 75 :L
anagoespoof 1
This is so unrealistic no way this could happen in the span of a few hours.
LennyComa 39
How...how is the possible
Birdie_Sage 0
Captain black eye!
auzz1_pride 9
HAHA not a little bit racist at all.
BlAzEtHiS 0
Is there an old pirate at this new job?